I'm 7 weeks pregnant 20 years old, married and with a whole bunch of things ahead of me. I've just moved to the U.S. started school (my 3rd semmester), job and then I found out that I'm pregnant. I was aiming for a career in fashion merchandising, now that I am expecting I dont know anymore. Once the baby is born somebody has to take care of it for at least her 1st year (yes, I know that's gonna be me) and then I want to come back to school but here's my problem: after I gradue I will be all ready to start my job as a buyer. Fashion merchandising/ Being a buyer is a bit difficult because your work sends you all over the world all the time. My baby needs family, needs mom to be around her.... How can I go about this? Could anybody fammiliar with fashion merchandising/ buyer lifestyle give me any advice?
2006-09-22 05:15:20 · 7 answers · asked by Miss baby 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am 24 years old, I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I had her when I was 20 years old as well. I completly understand your situation. But you do have one plus I did not have and that's being married. If you really do go thru with this, you have to realize a couple of things:
1. YOU ARE MARRIED, and you should BOTH try and share the responiability as much as possible. Yes, you will have the baby "more" but it' s 2006 not 1940..times have changed and it's not all about the mom doing everything.
2. You don't matter any more it's all about your kid...you have to be ready and WILLING to take the backseat for the next 18 years..it's a long time..something you really have to think about..there are NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES with kids...once you have them it's "A FINAL SALE"..by continuing the preganacy you are accepting those terms of the "contract"...
3. It's not as scary as you think..MILLIONS of SINGLE MOTHERS, MARRIED whatever, do what you are going to do or are doing it already....no one said it was EASY..because it is not..but it is bearable and can be done...you are not the first and won't be the last.
4. Make sure you can give your kid all you can, don't get into this if you know that right know you can not "share" your life with a very needy person.....Being a parent is about being SELFLESS-ask yourself could you be completly selfless?
5. Finally, the reward a child brings you is priceless..the first time they crawl, walk, tell you they love you, say Happy Mother's Day..it's truly amazing to me, to watch this little person grow. From my point of view, it's not always easy, but everything I have learned for the past 3 years...I wouldn't change it for the world...I love my kid and feel that she has changed me in a good way, I couldn't picture life before her. Yes I do miss my carefree, single life at times, because I am still young....but that all disappears when I hear my daughter tell me I'm her best friend :) Best of Luck and do what you feel in your heart...it's the best way to go!!!
2006-09-22 05:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you even want to be a parent? If not, you have some options. At the end, the last option (parenting) is also reviewed. Think about this carefully. Keep in mind that you *can* make a career work, but not without making saccrifices in how you take care of your kid. What's best for the baby?
Your options are as follows with no bias:
Have an abortion.
Pros- You're instantly no longer pregnant. Emotional relief.
Cons- Medical procedure that can have complications. There is a small risk of infertility if the procedure is not done by a trained professional. Emotional and hormonal sadness. When a pregnancy ends your hormones try to go back to normal which can cause depression. This is NORMAL even when you give birth to a wanted baby.
Adotion - closed
Pros- You're not a parent in the sense that you have to take care of a child for the next 20 years. Adoption costs may cover pregnancy and birth costs.
Cons- You may not want to give up the baby once you have it. 9 months of prenancy and delivery. Health issues (sometimes life threatening) that can occur while pregnant. Harder to adopt out a black, hispanic, male, or baby with disabilities. Posiblity of premature delivery. Possibility of miscarriage. Child may come looking for you later on.
Adoption - open
Pros- same as cosed adoption. Contact with child is a possibility. You get to pick the parents. Parents (or open adoption conpany) usually cover medical costs.
Cons- You may not want to give up the baby once you have it. 9 months of prenancy and delivery. Health issues (sometimes life threatening) that can occur while pregnant. Harder to adopt out a black, hispanic, male, or baby with disabilities. Posiblity of premature delivery. Possibility of miscarriage.
Parent
Pros- You choose to parent your child.
Cons- Costs of prenatal care, delivery, and your baby are all yours. You have to make a commitment to the child for 20+ years on average. Several hundred thousand dollars of cost not including higher education and 'extras' like TV's, cars, insurance, and such. You need a good support network to raise a child. If your partner is not in the picture, you have to do this by yourself. You are more likely to abuse your child than a random unrelated stranger. Your social life is gone. Your life is not for you anymore, it's for your child.
Ponder this carefully. Any decision you make will effect you for a lifetime.
2006-09-22 05:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by fjonesstarr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you will have to work your way up to buyer! It is very rare that a student fresh out of college gets a job like that. Secondly, think about how old your baby will be when you reach this point. She will probably be in school and you can work around her schedule. Hopefully your hubby is supportive and will help you work this out. Your flexible student schedule will give you time with your new child and once you have that baby you might change your goals all together. I was a social worker when i got pregnant with my son. My job was too demanding and it broke my heart to be away from him. I am doing something completly different, making more money and more time with my son and i love it. Don't stress out, make that baby your number one priority and everything else will fall into place!
2006-09-22 05:53:07 · answer #3 · answered by micah z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i didnt go for that field of work but i know your problem...i was in college when i found out that i was pregnant(it was the beginning of my 3rd year) I majored in Nursing (currentally licened in Arkansas) It was VERY hard but i went to school, worked and took care of my daughter and finsihed school with a 3.2 GPA I am currentally not working because my husbands job requires so to move all over the U.S. and we are not in 1 place long enough for me to be a traveling nurse ( which pays alot more than a grounded nurse) Your best bet is to do the classes that you want for the carrer that your interested in and if you change your mind at least you can always go back on it latter down the road..GOOD LUCK with the pregnancy and college!
2006-09-22 05:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have taken precaution beforehand if your career means that much to you. Life is full of surprises otherwise it wouldn't be very challenging. Maybe it's time to plan again. Your hard work will be rewarded whether as a loving mother, a successful fashion buyer or even both.
Good Luck.
2006-09-22 05:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by m00nlight1ng 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can you actually hear yourself?
Stop being so damn selfish and get a grip.
You are pregnant so have the baby and care for it like a proper mother should. Why do people (men & women) assume that they can 'Have it all'?
You have to face up to your responsibilities and get your priorities in order.
And before you ask, I have made some serious career/lifestyle changes in order to be a good parent to my 3 children.
2006-09-22 05:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dadams 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
try to arrange family members to assist dad while you are away, or when you get the job, take your baby with you and hire a nanny or take another family member with you to help you. i know all about having to leave your child to handle business but i was blessed with people that would help me and my husband get through it. just pray about it. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-22 05:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by burtonstanley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋