I have strong elitist feelings. There are certain groups I'd wish I would never have to deal with again.?

Question

It has been my experience that there are certain "types" of people that the world as a whole would be better off without. I have guilt about these feelings, but I can't help it. I have been burned and burned and burned again and again by certain groups. I keep giving these people the benefit of the doubt, and they keep reinforcing my prejudice. "Burn me once shame on you, burn me twice shame on me". I am sick of being burned. What can I do to be a better person in this regard. I'd rather not be a bigot but SHEESH!!! The preponderance of evidence is overwhelming!

Answer 1

Your thoughts are your thoughts, but not dealing with a specific person because they are culturally different from you is probably not a good habit and will also limit you tremendously. When I have problems with controversies between people who work for me - whatever the cause - I pay for them to go to lunch together every day for a week so that they can better understand the other person and what they might experience in their own life every day. We all have some prejudices, but if you let them run you then you truly have lost.

Answer 2

The thoughts you have are not uncommon. This is why many neighborhoods are culturally based. People want to be around those most like themselves.

I moved a couple years ago when homes areound me sold to people with culturally different ideas. I did not want to be around these ideals and began my search to move away from them.

You have learned how you can't trust someone, even a group of people who may have different cultural ethical beliefs. So don't give them that trust. You may find one or two someday in your life that you could completely trust. But that'd be something those people would earn from you.

I took a course in explorations in prejudice quite many years ago. I remember reading an interesting story where a man came jogging out of a manhattan park into a street where cars were waiting at a red light this was around one in the morning and he could hear the doors start locking. He called these people prejudice and basing their actions upon the color of his skin.

I rebuttled the coment stating he was being prejudiced to assume it was his skin color. If I were at a red light in manhattan at one in the morning, and my doors were not already locked, and someone came jogging our of a park - I wouldn't take the time to notice color, race, sex, or anything. My door locks would be clicking too.

Members in the class discussed prejudiceness within their own races. Such as having dark skin isn't enough - it's how dark the skin is, and did you marry someone with darker skin or lighter skin (even if the lighter skin is dark) I also heard from hispanics how blue eyes mean you're not hispanic, and something is wrong with your parents and question of infidelity anc occur.

We all judge. We all categorize based upon our own personal experiences. What's important is to realise that these differences don't make a person wrong. Rather, we need to adjust how we interact with these people so we can get along - without offending each other.

Answer 3

Try to remember that there are always more than two sides to a story. My suggestion is to see what their lives are like and why they do the things they do. Unfortunately not everyone is just plain stupid, they really don't know what they're doing is wrong. I have had the same problem most of my life, such feelings of superiority because of my intellect. It doesn't make me a better person though and you can't persecute people for what they were born with. It is something I have fought with for a long time and I think compassion is the best answer I could give. What if Jesus thought the same way we did? Nobody could hold to those standards. .

Answer 4

Not to make a joke about your problem, but I would make certain there isn't a third "shame"

I think the feelings you're having are normal. It's like "tough love", ppl talk about it like it should be the most natural thing a person can do for another, Yet everyone who has done it knows it's one thing to talk about doing it and a completely different matter to actually do it.

Maybe you're just to trusting. Nothing wrong with that, until it becomes a fault.

Answer 5

Well.. your views have already be reinforced by these supposed behaviors. So not matter who a person acts you will find these behaviors in them, whether or not they exhibit them. In additiona, your language in your text shows that you are not really sincere about wanting to turn over a new leaf. So to elivate your torment, just accept what you are and avoid those you don't care for. We all have prejudices in one for or another. The trick to living peacably with others is to treat them with respect regardless of what we think or believe.

Answer 6

there is a little error in your own thought here....and a very common one.
first.....elitist feelings are living...since love e(n)light(ens).
elitist thoughts are differentiating ... elitist thoughts may at any given time be with or without elitist feeling. depending on the reasons (explanations to objective/subjective) for the actualizations and behaviours.
you are learning that others have ideas which are quite different from your own ... which discomforts you (this is common).
you are realizing that your self do be have differing objectives than what is realistically distressing you.
solution .... realize what is acceptable to these others and how these are valued. and realize that how these are acquired and maintained is initial and consequential to your own in (dis)tress.
realize that this brings clarity of the confusion of self-love-value (simply or not so simply...but since it is distressing indicates a course of not so simply...thus creating need for affirmation in self-valueability in mind and feeling and body for full agreement .)

**this time more concisely** ... accept that you have different ideas and seek to show others how you and they may benefit by your own character.

Answer 7

I would suggest that it is probably not the actual culture of people you are referring to, but more than likely it is this circumstances each meeting takes place.

For example:
~walking down dark alleys usually will result in you meeting criminals
~going to an expensive country club will usually result in you meeting arrogant and self righteous people
~going to a mexican burrito stand will usually result in you meeting latin people
~walking in a hospital will usually result in you meeting sick people

I know this is simplistic, but it is the general principle you need to begin with (baby steps- you wont change overnight). Begin with realizing that your circumstances influence who you meet and under what conditions you meet them. Then when you realize this and see this each time... you can take the next step... changing the circumstances.

Just remember there are cultural differences in all of us and some of them good and some bad... but in general it is the circumstances you meet that create bad situations with people (of any race, creed or color)

I wish you luck in this

Answer 8

No matter how many times you have been burned the golden rule applies to all those you meet each & every day. It's kinda disgusting but if you want to remain non prejudiced you'll have to make it a daily prayer/reminder for yourself.

Answer 9

confident, yet I often ought to work out somebody head to head and seem of their eyes and get their actual feeling to truly understand them. yet yep, there might extremely be reliable emotions in spite of if I on no account met them. i'm a hugger and that would somewhat be advantageous too!

Answer 10

nothing wrong with it. you have over generalized and are grouping them everyone into your bad exerperience. you need to forgive and just be smarter with how you trust people.