I am a 21 year old male virgin. This is not a choice I've made, moreso a subject that does not come up very often. I have the choice of having sexual intercourse with a girl I somewhat know. We've been together before (3 times), but have not had sexual intercourse. She lives fairly far away, and this would be a one night stand. Am I making too big of a deal about sex? Or should I save it for a meaningful relationship?
2006-09-22 04:30:19 · 49 answers · asked by John 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you don't use it you lose it. Thats all I gotta say.
2006-09-22 04:33:50 · answer #1 · answered by billy.06lex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This truely is something that no one can decide but you. I think that having different sexual partners allows you to discover what it is you like in the bedroom (not saying that you have to have a lot of them, though). if you feel like you are missing out on something in life b/c you are a virgin, this might be the best situation for you to lose it. it is someone that you know and care about (at least somewhat, i'm assuming), not a stranger. but, the first time you sleep with someone is usually not the best time, it takes a little practice (usually) before the sex gets really good - once you guys are able to get each others preferences and styles down. Speaking as someone who did not have a "meaningful" first time, I don't regret it. But if you want to save it for a relationship, do. But don't have too many expectations as that relationship may not work out in the end.
2006-09-22 04:39:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason you ask this is because of opportunity right?
For you to have sex for the first time with a girl you will never go to bed with again both makes sense and does not.
First and foremost, even though today this is not the standard, sex should be with someone you have known for some time and are very fond of or in love with. Yea, I know, an idea not relevant among young people today. But as we grow older we find the truth in it.
On the plus side, morality aside, in having sex with her you are free to make all the mistakes with no fear of future problems. It frees you to do what comes naturally and not worry about the right way or wrong way.
I was 18 before my first time. Of all the places it was to a b-girl in Hong Kong, China. I was in the Navy. I told her she was my first and it would seem I did something right because she laughed at that.
It did take all the pressure of the relationship thing off me and for that I see it as perhaps a good thing. But I would much rather it be with a girl I felt something for.
At your age sex is a big deal for men.....very big, at least for most. However you are asking about that first time thing and with all of us we always want the first time to be special. I can tell you...in regards to sex....it can go either way. With no experience it may not be all you think it will be. Or it may be more than you thought. Why? Because the real value of sex is in both partners enjoying it together. BOTH! With no experience you may not know what she needs. She may feel she shouldn't have to tell you.
Only have sex with her if it is right for both of you. BOTH. If you both decide to do it let her know it is your first and that she needs to tell you what she needs. All will be well then.
2006-09-22 05:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that you should save it for a meaningful relationship. One night stands are not all that great. I know. You should get some one who is going to be there for you no matter what happens, make you smile, make you cry when she says loving things to you. You need someone who you are going to be with for a very long time. Take it a day at a time. The lord always answers prayer. Just ask him to send you some one. It will be okay.
2006-09-22 04:35:52 · answer #4 · answered by DeOsher L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well John suffice it to say 21 is a good age to lose it ... your mind that is ...so try it once but don't fall in love and wear protection . It's gonna get shaky and you probably won't perform well because of the condom. That 's why my first time was with another virgin . You will be in a hell of a night with that girl and it will become addictive make sure she is pretty though so that many years from now you can say "oh my first was beautiful so and so..."
2006-09-22 04:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by harlingenguy_2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today's society will not agree with my belief but I think it would be so much better for you if you wait until you get serious with a young lady that lives in town. Now days you look at how sex is like what makes relationships. If I could turn time around I would of waited but honestly you do what you think is right for you cause no matter how many tell you to do this you know what you feel needs to be done.
2006-09-22 04:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can ultimately answer that question.
But if I were you, I'd go for it. I mean, it's no strings-attached sex. Most guys don't have a problem with that. Just make sure you use proper protection. You don't want to end up with a disease or unwanted child.
Besides, if you're still waiting for 'the one' to show up, I say you're better off having some experience of sex and the way you will react emotionally and physically to it before that person shows up.
2006-09-22 04:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex should not be unmeaning, it should be a bond between two people, appreciation for each other and to show your affection for the person.
You have made the right choice to stay a virgin for all these years, so the person you decide to have sex with should be someone you know is the right person you want, and not just for sex but for a relationship.
2006-09-22 04:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mystery X 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you should save it for someone you care about. You'll have regret later on down the road if you lose your virginity to someone that doesn't really mean a lot to you. On the other hand, if you want to experiment, then do it. Just make sure you both agree that there won't be strings attached unless you want there to be.
2006-09-22 04:34:15 · answer #9 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel comfortable with having just a one night stand for your first experience I guess go for it, as far as wgat I would do, I would wait until you are with someoine somewhat special, I mean I enjoyed my first, we were together for a year first when we finally went through with it, it made it alot better than if it just would have been a one night stand....sex means much more and feels better when thewre are emotions involved....just ask yourself do you want to remeber your first being some one night stand or so you want it to be with someone you care aboiut and they care about you and make it great!!!
2006-09-22 04:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by radioradioradio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's just casual sex make sure she knows that and is not expecting some type of commitment later on. You're 21 and as long as she's 18+ and doesn't have any other motives, go for it if you want to and feel you're ready. If you question whether or not you want to have sex - for whatever reason - maybe now is not the time.
But if so, make sure you wear your 'raincoat'. ;)
2006-09-22 04:34:06 · answer #11 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋