This is the longest question ever, but I would really appreciate and honest truthful answer, thanks?

Question

Ok here goes:


I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years

A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago


can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything

This is what she replied

hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.





This is what I replied



hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.




Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young

Answer 1

She is 13, that is your answer.She will not want to be with 1 boy she likes the attention of more than 1 boy and when you told her how you feel you ruined it now she feels that she has to be away from you because you want more and she is not gonna be with 1 guy.This is why she is flirting with another guy, but she has known you for so long that she feels a commitment to you and that is why she is still showing you signs that she cares.You need to move on and find a different girl to make a relationship with and keep her as a friend

Answer 2

I was in exactly this same situation for about 3 years. The thing is, girls are dumb and never do the straightforward thing. If you've put yourself out there and explained it there's nothing more you can do. Just keep being friends and maybe something will happen, but don't push it because that will make her choose and if she's not ready then you'll lose her completely and it seems that that's not what you want. It's hard to get through at first but just hang on and maybe she'll eventually get around to doing something more, but I don't know a single girl who ever decided to move on from being friends for years to being more than that, it just doesn't happen that often. I'm not saying give up but I would seriously consider the possibility that this may not happen, at least not for a long time.

Answer 3

How long have you had these feelings for her? Perhaps they will pass, perhaps they won't. Sometimes we find people we love, but for some reason it just can't work out in a relationship, yet we hold them in high esteem and in our hearts for forever.

There are a couple of things I see going on here with her. I really believe she is afraid to ruin a friendship, though she might want something more. She's probably wondering how it would work out, and since she values your friendship so much, she would hate to lose you as a friend, or have awkwardness between you, if you broke up as bf/gf later. At the same time, though, her flirting with you after saying she just wants to be friends is a real mixed message. Let her know she's leading you to believe one thing, and preaching another. If you're going to be friends, do that and just that, not the flirting stuff, because it causes confusion.

Answer 4

She's only thirteen. She's still an emotional work in progress, and maybe is afraid of her feelings for you. Bear in mind that you have two more years of maturity than her. Just give her the time and distance that she needs to sort out her feelings and grow emotionally. Be her friend, but don't make a real relationship an issue until she is ready to make it an issue. Also bear in mind that she will flirt with other guys. That's what girls do. It doesn't mean she doesn't care about you any less. Take it in stride. Just let time take it's course, my friend. All the best of luck. God Bless.

Answer 5

Honestly i think she just wants to be friends with you. She got distant b/c she could sense that you liked her. When you wrote her the letter, it gave her a chance to respond to the issue directly and let you know exactly how she felt. She is more comfortable around you now b/c she has expressed that she does not want to be more than friends, and therefore can be her "easy-going" self around you and not worry that you will think that she likes you. I know it is confusing and I'm sorry. You just need to try to accept that it will just be a friendship. If at some point she does change her mind (which may never happen) she will approach you.

Answer 6

This is an honest, truthful answer, in hopes that you'll understand & have closure concerning the problem.
Here's what I believe>>>
Her mom said it... she's afraid.
You've liked other girls before, but quit the relationships.
I'm not criticizing, but still trying to help>>> Now, unfortunately, you've got the reputation of a quitter... (quitters>>> also known as losers).
She obviously doesn't want to have anything but a friendship relationship with you because of it.
If you want to have a deeper relationship with her, you could try proving to her that you aren't a quitter (that takes time & sincere effort).

Answer 7

sounds like you're really in love hmmm.....
something is holding her back. you're 15, and ur ready for this. but she's still 13 right? she sounds really insecure and uncertain. girls flirt with a lot of guys, but usually they dont flirt much with the guy they truly like. she likes you, thats sure, but she is really lost about what to do.
i think you should just continue being her friend; and let her know you're always ther for her,by your actions as well as words. she probably trusts you more than other guys coz she's known you for a long time, so develope that and make use of it.
and if you want some time with her, ask her as well as a frend of hers. dont use the word "date". coz like it or not, you're still kids and she might shy off.
be patient, time will work it out.
and Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

You're 15 and she is 13. You have your whole lives ahead of you . Right now she probably loves being single and able to flirt with whomever w/o any problems. Remain friends and go find you another girl to date, maybe later on in life you'll become more. Don't force her into anything

Answer 9

You have been friends for a long time, when people become involved after a long time, it ruinds the friendship. After the people are gone, the friend will be there to help pick up the peices of your life. She is not ready for your life style.

Answer 10

i really think she values the friendship, ive been in this situation before, i ended up seein these guys that i had been mates with for ages and trust me once yous go there theres no going back, it will ruin the friendship is the relationship doesnt work out