Depression is killing me...?

Question

hello, I am really down in the dump today, I do have depression and I am not on any medication, I tried some before but it didn't work and I don't want to have to depend on meds, but it seem's latley I am gonna have too, because im getting suicidal again.

Today is really bad, not sure why, or what triggered it, but I feel just ****** horrible, and frankly I am getting so sick of it! Why can't I just be happy, I have no reason too be upset, I am with a great man, escaped my abusive husband a few years ago, i feel like im moving on about the death of my mother, I have a good paying job, work long hours, but get paid well. But I still think of all the negative stuff, guilt, pain, paranoid, I turn too booze for release, lost all friends, dont want to talk to anyone..ugh i hate it. Death seem's to be my only escape..Why can't the pain just go away, I want to be normal again. Sorry this wasnent really a question, just needed to vent, i hope someone can understand this sh*t.

Answer 1

ive been there before. You can take medication to chemically alter the hormone levels in your brain. Its like doing manually what your body does automatically baised on diet/health/emotion.

Or, you can decide to move on and get over it. I come from a family of atleast three generations of clinically depressed women. Its nothing more than a weakness in your character that you dont want to deal with.

Trust me, its easier to just be sad and miserable than to not be. But eventually you're going to have to choose between slipping into that state, and fighting it. Whether on your own or with drugs.

You're already dependant on on a medication so to speak. Alcohol alters your body chemistry just the same as any medicine would. The side effects of that are worse than anything you had to begin with in the first place.

You need to start with your head and finish with your body. Decide to change how you think about things. Killing yourself is the single most selfish thing you could ever do. There are people in your life, and people who need to be in your life that depend on your for their own survival and happiness. Taking that away from them leaves the same gap in their lives that you have now.

You can decide that your worthless and no one needs you and you cant get anything right anyway, or you can realize that there are people you come into contact with EVERY DAY who need your compassion. How many times have you told yourself "if someone will just smile at me today, i might be able to make it through.."? Youre that person to someone every day, you just dont know it. You're not the only one secretly depressed and wasting away.

As long as you have breath you have purpose. Sitting around feeling sorry for how you feel only makes things worse.

So get out there. Work in a soup kitchen, take up a cause. Whatever your interests are. You like people? do something for someone. You like kids? Do something for a kid in need. You like dogs? take on that cause.

I dont care if you're living in a box in an alley with one change of holey cothes and a stench that can make cheese melt. There is still someone out there who needs you to make their day better some how.

If no one would notice that you were gone, its because you wouldnt allow yourself to be noticed while you're here.

You dont have to be a social butterfly if you dont want to. You just need to be.

Honestly, if you want to see people more miserable than yourself, go visit a local nursing home. You dont need an appointment. Walk in and visit with the first old spaced out lady you find. its very humbling.

Start doing things for other people, and you'll find you dont need so much to make yourself feel better. You just need to learn to turn your head off. Just because you think something doesnt make it right.

I have been here, with the pills in my hand, witht he knife in my hand, on the edge of the bridge, ive been there. you're the only person who can decide to change it.

Dont waste your life when theres so much that the world needs from you. You werent just born for the hell of it. You were born to fill a gap. dont cop out of that.

Lastly. You need to eat right, so you hormones and chemicals and balance out. Stop eating porcessed foods, put down the fast food, dont eat foods that come wrapped in crinkley sounding plastic.

Eat a salad once a day, with a glass of water. Start there. eat anything else you want, but eat that damn salad every day, with a glass of water.

Take a complete multivitamin. every day.

And walk, every day, EVERY DAY. i dont care where or how long. go outside in the sun, during the day and walk. EVERY DAY.

You can choose to waste your life, or you can choose to live it. You own that body of yours, it has to obey you. even the voices that tell you you suck. You live there, they cant. tell em to shut up.

Find yourself a purpose. get help with your drinking if its become a problem, otherwise, you dont get to drink unless you're at a party and someone else you know and trust is pouring them for you.

email me if you want. [e-mail]. Iam not giving that to you so we can have a pity party, you can email me and i'll listen, and kick your butt until you get motivated to live.

i know what its like to be here.

Answer 2

First off there is a difference between feeling depressed and virtually being depressed. A man or woman is viewed to suffering from depression after two weeks of depressed feelings. At this type of factor remedy and respectable support is needed. When you've got been experiancing this for over two weeks go and seek aid. Also, depression most commonly runs in the family, so if one or more of your spouse and children had been identified with depression you usually tend to have melancholy. Having a broken coronary heart or every other critical event in your life go improper at the same time being depressed can result in suicidal ideas and actions. You should be aware of any significant events that could arise quickly and talk by means of them with close buddies or loved ones.

Answer 3

Please, please,please find a doctor you trust and get him or her to help you find the right med to be on. It's ok to rely on a medication to help you feel better -- especially when you are this down.

I was diagnosed with depressed in the early 90s. I visited a psychiatrist once a week for three months, then twice a month for three months. Also, for a year I was on Prozac. I was suicidal before that -- I skipped school (college) all the time and was at risk of failing out. The medication made a HUGE difference in my life. It helped me "cope." And, after a year of taking it, I was able to learn to live without it -- so, you may not have to be on meds for the rest of your life.

BUT, if you are, that's OK, too. I know it's difficult to understand why, when everything in life seems OK, things seem so awful and you just want to cry all the time. I get like that from time to time, too. Some of us have a chemical imbalance that makes us feel that way. Members of my entire family have to battle it all the time. However, you deserve to be happy and to have a good life -- and that may mean taking a little pill every day. Just like some people need a med for thyroid problems or blood pressure, you may need a pill for this.

Regardless, though, for right now in the immediate future, you do need to get to someone and get some help. This is something you should not have to go through. There are wonderful physicians and counselors in the world who can help show you an entirely new life. Please, please, pretty please ask for help. There is nothing shameful or wrong in that.

Answer 4

The first thing that you need to remember all your life before I get started is that depression is an illness. It's an unnatural state of mind. It's not reality, trust me. It's a perception, just a layman's way of expressing how bio-electrical and chemical signals are abnormally interpreted in the brain. Your natural state is peace, joy and stability. Therefore depression is like a veil on your thinking, a cloud in the brain. It's such an insidious illness that it distorts your thinking totally and keeps cheating you all along. It's just your brain playing tricks with you. It tells you you are worthless, you don't deserve this and that etc! DO NOT trust any of that. Because it is not YOU who is doing all that, it's your "sick" brain. If you had a sick stomach, you'd realize that fact with your brain. The complication with the brain is that if it itself has a problem, how will you realize there is a problem since you have always been identifying yourself with your brain?? Stop doing that. I hope you get the point. Whenever you get thoughts, tell yourself it's just my brain and do your work! Remember, you are NOT your brain!
Now to the practical part. I think you should start taking meds and remain on them for sometime. There are a plethora of reasons for depression and a psychiatrist will be able to properly identify the type of the depression. You haven't mentioned your age..I believe it has a lot to do with your hormonal cycles..One of the most important factors I believe that is responsible for the onset and remission of depression is diet. How is your diet? Do you include fish, fresh fruit, vegetables in your diet? I suggest you cut down ENTIRELY on caffeine and on fast foods. Eat a lot of fresh fruits, vegetables and fish. Start taking NOW foods double strength cod liver oil and see how it suits you. You should ingest 7-8 capsules everyday. Don't worry about the fish taste. Take lipase, a digestive enzyme and a little garlic for digestion of the omega-3 fatty acids in the oil. The cod liver oil should form the mainstay of your nutritional regimen. Take a high potency B-complex with 100 mg each of B1, B3, B6 and 400 micro g of B12. There is an amino acid called tryptophan which is available in the form of a substance 5-HTP. Take 50 mg at bed time everyday. I can write more but I do not know what exactly you are facing. If you are interested, you can write to me at [e-mail] and I will try my best to help. Just remember it's a passing phase and when you get out of it you will scarcely believe that you once went through it! Take my word for it.

Answer 5

# Set realistic goals and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
# Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
# Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
# Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
# Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
# Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
# It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition--change jobs, get married or divorced--discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
# People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day by day.
# Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
# Let your family and friends help you.

If that doesn't work, look into the following meds:
* Lexapro
* Celexa
* Zoloft
* Wellbutrin
* Effexor
* Paxil
* Prozac
* XANAX
* Trilafon

Answer 6

I have tried several (5 or 6) different medications and only 2 of them helped in any way. Every person is different, so what works for one may not work for another.

I understand your feelings, if you are feeling this way you really need to talk to a professional. They can help you until you find the medication that may help you.

I found when I was not on meds that my mind was like a movie tape that kept playing through my mind, focusing on all the bad stuff, event he small stuff that really no one else would notice. It was like I could not unwind. If something was bothering me, I would obsess over it, it would keep me up at night because I could not "shut" these thought off.

I hope you find the help you need

Answer 7

I'm sorry your feeling bad, I had a bad day yesterday. I also can not take meds, which is fine by me, like I need to contribute to the pharmaceutical " Drug up America" program. I try to get out and do something if I am blue. Go to the Art Museum, the park, buy yourself some flowers, talk to your man, cry, join a karate class hit something, And I know you don't want to hear it but keep the alcohol out of the house do something else when you think you need a drink. And I am not just talking to you to be noisy I KNOW depression I lost my daughter at 9 weeks 6 years ago and it is a daily struggle but we get by.
Be Strong

Answer 8

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 9

happiness is something you must work to obtain, and work to maintain.

try to logically determine what the negatives and positives in your life are. make a list, if it helps. then find a way to use the positives to eliminate the negatives. it's not easy, but to reduce your depression, you must change the things that make you sad. you're lucky that you have a caring partner to help you with these changes.

remember, it's not wrong to ask for help. death is permanent, and you have no idea what will happen, or where you'll be. on earth, you know for a fact that there ist he potential for joy and happiness.

only YOU can be the change you need in your life. quick metaphor: you know how most celebrities shed their weight after pregnancy so quickly? or how actors seem to gain or lose weight for roles so easily? that's because looking good is their LIFE. it's their only job. you have to make improving your situation and obtaining happiness your LIFE.

you can do it! please remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. things will turn around if you make them. take care of yourself.

Answer 10

You definately need meds and need to stay on them. Keep going till you find the right med. Life is so much clearer and brighter and better all around, when you are on the right meds and you feel better.

Dont think about having to take meds as something you gotta do or rely on.....be glad that something helps.

I wish you much happiness. Take a look at your life, your family....and realize the things you have are so precious.

I live with depression and take meds, Im much happier and am so glad theres something that helps me. I was suicidal too.

Answer 11

please go see a therapist. They can help you.

When you are depressed, you just can't think clearly and you don't make good decisions for yourself. If you get help, and it sounds like you want to - you can get better. Please try another medication - try exercise (works wonders for my depression!!)

Alcohol is a DEPRESSANT, so please avoid it, it only makes things worse.

Death is NOT the only escape. I found another answer - i worked my way through the gloom and the clouds. If I had killed myself, I wouldn't have the rest of my life to keep enjoying things, i would never have met my husband, everything would have been gone. And I know you think that's the only solution right now, but it isn't. If you are really desperate right now:

1-800-SUICIDE - someone is always there to talk to you.