Your daughter...adopt/abort...?

Question

I asked this question last night and thought I’d see what people would say during the day.

If you had a daughter--let’s say she is sixteen--and you found out she was pregnant, would abortion or adoption be an option? Would you allow her to make the decision or would you decide for her? Would you keep or take custody of the child? Remember you are the grandparent. This child would be linked to you, too. Would you really want family being adopted or aborted?

I am not asking this question for me. It's if you were personally in this situation, what would you do?

Answer 1

That is a personal question. She's 16 and if she's adult enough to have sex,then she's adult enough to make that decision. any decision will impact her life drastically. What-ever decision she makes, I will whole heartily support. As the grandmother you have no right to the baby, so you can not make that decision for her.

Answer 2

I would give her a choice between having the baby and finding ways to raise it or adopting. There are so many viable options for adopting or having the child- working, daycare, open/closed adoptions, abortion shouldn't be an option. I don't feel this way because I think the woman shouldn't have a choice but I feel that it is 100% unfair to the fetus (or unborn child, depending which side you're on) who really doesn't have a say- at least give him/her a chance in the world, who knows what could happen? Counseling is definitely a must too in this case regardless of the decision to help deal with such a huge emotional change. I would always be there for my child and I believe its important to teach kids, teens, adults, etc the value of human life- I do not associate with any christian pro-life people because I do not think that the sole reason you should be pro-life is "god says it's wrong" but simply because someone has to speak for those who can't. Anyways, if this question ever becomes a reality for anyone, please think carefully about all of the options out there.

Answer 3

My parents always told me that abortion would not be one of my options. They would make me take care of the baby.

There are so many ways to prevent getting pregnant, that if I let it go so far that my options were take care of it, give it up for adoption or have an abortion, they would make me keep it.

I have had a few scares and to tell you the truth, I took the morning after pill. I don't consider this abortion though as I don't think that enough time goes by in the 72 hour window for you to actually become pregnant. It's just an emergency means of you hopefully nothing getting pregnant.

But, now that I'm 24 and in a committed relationship. If my primary birth control failed, I would simply go along with the pregnancy.

Answer 4

Abortion is murder. You had to consider the fact that you obviously didn't raise your daughter to consider the consequences of unprotected sex at such a young age- there is no way you should then teach them to murder the child.

At 16- there is no real reason why they could not be exellent parents, and I would 100% support my daughter. I would be angry at her, but this is a life and very important. I wouldn't baby sit all the time so she could just go out with her friends, but I would look after the baby if my daughter had decided to contibue her education. I would also expect the father and his family to take full responsibility- if not to be there, then definately financially.

If she really thought she could not handle this, I honestly don't think I could handle adoption- afterall it would be my grandchild, I think I would take over the custody of the baby. That would be the issue for me. At no time would the option of abortion come into my mind.

Answer 5

If she has your support in whatever she decides, it really is her decision, and I hope you would sway her towards adoption, not abortion. Abortion really is murder. I did it and I cannot ever forgive myself, know what I mean? Taking custody of the baby will require a court order and seeing that she is a minor, you are well within your right to do so. If you adopt the baby out, you can actually make arrangements so that your daughter can be a part of the child's life as well. You can also find adoptive parents who will be willing to pay for everything and give a substantial amount of money on top of that. Good luck. Just stand behind her Mom. Please try to talk her out of abortion.

Answer 6

If I were in this situation Abortion would definatly NOT be an option. I would never kill my own grandchild. I would give my daughter the option of keeping the baby or giving the baby up for adoption, but I would greatly encourage her to keep the baby. I would not take custody of the baby, but would tell my daughter that she would be supported and could live at home and have help with the baby so she could finish school. I believe that you need to take responsibility for your actions.

Answer 7

That's a tough one. At sixteen I believe that my daughter (if I had one) would be ill equipped to raise a child and said child may close many of life's opportunities to her. On the other hand, at 16 she would probably be old enough to at least discuss things in a reasonably rational manner.

My gut reaction is I would lean towards abortion as it is my personal opinion that until potentially viable outside of the mother's womb we are talking about a small clump of cells that is a *potential* human, but has not yet reached that status (when that clump of cells becomes an independent entity is an entirely different subject better debated by sages, scientists and philosophers). However, my opinions and influence would be dependent on the overall situation, but ultimately it would be a (mostly) mutual decision.

I am truly thankful that I have been blessed with sons!

Answer 8

Speaking from experience as the 16 year old kid that was pregnant (I am now 38). I was always told that if I got pregnant then I would have to have an abortion...so I hid my pregnancy until I was 8 months pregnant. I wore large dresses and my mother never suspected a thing. I personally could not have had an abortion. (Just my opinion) I had the baby and he is now a 22 year old man that is going to the seminary. He was just recently married and maybe in the future he will give me beautiful grandchildren. Please remember that no matter what is happening in the here and now that It will not be so bad say... 20 years from now.

Answer 9

At 16 years old I became a mother. The laws do not allow you to make your daugther get an abortion. They also do not allow you to make her put it up for adoption. They courts may give you the choice to apply for custody... but only if you can prove she is unfit and will not care for the baby. Now at age 15.... that may be another story.

By the way I have my daughter and even at 16 I was a great and capable mother. My mother supported me through my choice. If one of my 3 girls came into the same problems I too would support them the same.

Answer 10

Yes, If I had a daughter, wanted one but only had boys, but still gave them the same life situation scenario talk. Girls are not the only ones responsible. One of the main reasons I gave this talk to them, is b/c I raised both of my boys by myself, most of their lives. So I was and still am trying to raise responsible men. Unlike their fathers. (Yes, they have different father's, I had them 9 1/2 yrs. apart) Not to say I could have been with the same husband with both, but that is beside the point. If I did have a daughter, I would NEVER suggest an abortion, that is something I don't believe in, not by religious beliefs, but pro-choice, every baby regardless the situation, did not choose to be conceived. The only consideration I would believe in an abortion, is if a girl or woman got pregnant thru a rape or incest. The choice would be the daughters choice, to keep the baby or give it up for adoption, I would support her in a decision. But abortion, no!! I was 19 when I had my oldest son, and it was still just as hard. I am sure at 16 it would be extremely hard to raise a baby, and to any of the girls (women) that wrote their stories on here that kept their babies...I am very proud of them!!! A very hard life decision, but at least they took on the responsibility of facing the consciences of their actions. The girl that said her mother bribed her with a new 2006 car was so shocking, what an example her mother is giving her, sad!! I would emotionally support a daughter or son that made the the decision to have unprotected sex, or protected sex that still resulted in a pregnancy. Life is full of unexpected choices and pregnancy is one of them, sometimes regardless of our age. Such as having a daughter that got pregnant, we as the parent have to make that choice to be supportive or not of an unexpected pregnancy of our daughters or sons. It really amazes me how so many people believe this responsibility is only left solely upon the female in this decision, it takes a male and a female to make a baby. It's just us as females normally are left with the sole responsibility of having and raising the baby. Even in cases like mine, married both times when I got pregnant, and still ended up raising them on my own. I would help as much as I could, with a grandchild coming into this world. We as parents not only need to have this talk with our children much younger than 16 and regardless whether they are male or female. We would possibly have a few less teenage pregnancies.
~PEACE~

Answer 11

My daughter will be 16 next Jan. Needless to say that at home we have talked about responsible sex several times. I hope she would never have to go through this experience.
To answer your question, my husband and I would sit with her to talk about this and help her to make a decision. We would support her in whatever she wanted to do. But at that age some girls may be confused. If that were case with my daughter, we would try to persuade her to keep the child. We would be glad to help her raise the baby while she finishes high school and college.