Brain Injury and Alzheimer's. They seem to have no edit button.?

Question

These people say the same things over and over. I know that is the function of the disease, but when that thing is something really hurtful it is hard. My anunt keeps insulting my hair color. I realize it is pointless to tell her to stop because she will not remember it anyway. This is what she thinks. She does not like that it has turned brown over age. I guess that in her eyes that is less caucasian than the blonde it used to be when I was a child. Personally I love having dark brown hair. I get many complements on it. It is natural and it is me. I am just happy with what I get I guess. I just work with what it is and make it beautiful.

When my grandmother had alzheimers come on all kinds or horrible racist things started comming out of her mouth. I guess that is just what happens when people lose control of their inhibitions with a brain injury or with Alzheimers. What do you think?

Does anyone know about this issue of the brain and lack of inhibition?

My father is dead, but he just loved me and my mother to be natural. I know he would have just loved me the way I was brown hair and all.

He loved his sister my Aunt, but could have done without all her fake hair die and make up. It was something he just tollerated when she lived with us. He loved his sister as a person and tollerated that part of her.

Well you are all really kind except Amanda who does not know how to treat people with kindness. She says she is a health care something something something. Well it sounds like she would be better of busting up rocks on a chain gang because she has not compassion and should not work with people.

Thanks to the other people who have compassion and are trying to help me and my anunt two human beings with feelings get through this as best as possible and stay intact. You are truly kind and will help me and my anut get the best result for both of us. That is what it is all about right?

People repress their racist side because they know it is ugly and unattractive. Then it comes out when their inhibitions are down. Look at mel gibson for this. People say what they are really thinking. I cannot wait to hear what my mother is really thinking about me when she loses it. She will not be racist I know, but she has some bad thoughts about me that I do not want to hear. She holds them back because she knows they are bad.

Okay enought is enough I got some helpful info from some nice people on here. No more bashing answers. They do not help the situation. They are jsut pointless. if you want to cause family chaos and make my aunt and myself separate that is what those do. Thankfully there are nice people who have helped me, so I can work on this. Medical professionals who want families not to have familiy really cute go back to school and get some counselling yourself. Get some ce and some counselling for your bitter attitude so you can help people.

Answer 1

My father is 80 and has had Alzheimer's for the last 8 years. The wreckage that this disease creates seems to know no boundaries - for the affected as well as for the family. I think that much of what they say is just an unedited or uncensored thought based on their personal likes or dislikes. Since they say whatever thought comes up - whether logical or not - their words can have a lot of zing, but that doesn't make them reality for the rest of the "rational" world. My dad, who used to be my mentor and who I idolized, tells everyone that my mom is trying to get rid of him because she wants another man to move in. True reality - no, but still his reality. Before the disease he used to tell me that there is no rationalizing with someone who is irrational. Alzheimers is irrational, so don't let it get to you. You might also look into a local support group for the families of people with Alzheimers and/or dementia.

Answer 2

Well the brain is what makes you work. I can tell you from experience.
I suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) from a little car accident. Ok more than little. They told me if I would have hit the pavement I'd be dead.
It depends on the part of the brain. I suffered a partial skull fracture to my left temporal lobe. It causes short term memory problems at times and now I have epilepsy. Your temporal lobes are the thinnest part of your skull... I was very lucky to not hit the pavement.
During the first 6 months after the skull fracture when I was in the hospital I could not remember anything. This is what I was told: I wet my bed, I didn't brush my teeth, would not remember what I did 4 hours ago, had trouble walking, did not respond much to other people... if I was not kinda young when it happened I would not have grown out of this. Your brain finishes growing when you are 25.

Different areas of the brain are what control emotions, somewhat. Personally I think I kind of got the senses knocked out of me, being sad is usually not me. Everyone in my immediate family besides me is on medication for depression.

The circuits in my brain got broken when I was young and I figured out ways to work around the problems, you cannot heal from a wound to the brain.

I would cry myself to sleep at nights too often before I grew out of this phase of my life.

Answer 3

How on Earth can you take her comments personally? It's not her talking, it's the disease!!! You should know this.
Consider this. If she always dyed her hair and was really interested in all things cosmetic, maybe she is just noticing that your hair is a different color, and because of the illness, she can't express herself properly.
When gramma started the racial slurs, did you think she became a racist? No, you realized that she is ILL, and not responsible the things she says. Same deal.
I think you should stop taking yourself so seriously. Maturity will teach you that, one, not everyone will like your hair, and two, not to place so much importance on what folks say. Especially ones who are mentally ill!!!

Answer 4

though many of them outgrew it, a large portion of the elderly population was raised in a highly racist system as compared to today. so it's actually pretty common for people with Alzheimer's to revert to some of those more basic memories since they are the last memories to fade from them (the older the memory the "deeper" it is and the longer the loss of grey matter takes to damage it). it's a sad truth, just know that it's not the aunt that you knew talking to you now.. it's a slightly different version, and that she loves you and truly can't help but to say the things she is saying.

Answer 5

Loss of memory, judgment, inhibition and loss of orientation to time, place and person - these are all the features of Dementia. When it is presenile in origin, it is called as Alzheimer's disease.
You cant do much about it. Consult your GP

Answer 6

Who the **** cares if she is insulting your hair color??? Give her a freaking break! She can't help it and has a MENTAL DISORDER. You need to get some self-confidence and quit freaking out when your aunt says something bad about something as superficial as hair color. You have no idea how much worse it could be so quit complaining!

You are forgetting something very important----THEY CAN'T HELP IT so quit acting like they are doing something wrong!

Answer 7

Yes You Are Very True. I Had A Aunt That Had It And It Ate Her Brain.

Answer 8

My Dad just died of early-onset Alzheimer's in April. You can not take anything your aunt says personal. It's the disease talking. You've got to remember the person she used to be, because that is not her now. Don't get mad, just try to laugh it off (to yourself). : )