My gf says she is in love with me and her ex and is finding it hard to make up her mind. We were crazy in love with each other till her childhood love showed up.
2006-09-22 03:44:12 · 22 answers · asked by adriano 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Quite possible. She is making up her mind.
2006-09-22 03:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Somebody's getting the short end of the stick, because when you're in love, you're devoted. You're mesmerized. You're focused or fight to be focused. You want to please that one person. You're mind is occupied by thoughts of how you can keep that person happy and be supportive. You're loyal. Selfish. And even greedy for the love of that person.
When a person is in love their whole mind is filled devotion.
How can you love two people? You can love one and lust for the other. Or, fantasize about what "used to be" or "what would have been", and it may feel like love, but if you're not willing to give up anything or sacrifice something else for this person, then how much do you really love him or her?
She's caught in the middle - She won't give him up for you and she won't give you up for him. Either she's going or staying. She can't be in two places at one time. That's why she's confused.
Ask her if she wants to go. Tell her that you don't want to hold her back from her true love and she what she wants to do.
But make it clear that you love her and that you need her and want to make her happy.
Then you have to step your Game up... She wouldn't feel this way if you were doing everything possible to keep her mind and goals focused on you. So now you have competition. It's not a bad thing. It just means that now you have to "work" to keep that love instead of cruising along and taking it for granted.
Keep your Game tight and win her affections as you did when you first met. Make her fall in love with you again. Make her lust for you and need you as any Queen would need her King.
Brother DzL (AsP)
"The Player's Lifestyle" (website)
"Holla at a Player when you see him the street." - DZL
2006-09-22 04:00:37 · answer #2 · answered by mo2dajizzo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel so sorry for you man. i really do. i can imagine your situation really i can. ar man.
what i reccomend you to do is tell her you love her and you are still wanting to be in this realtionship with her.but then give her the freedom to do what she wants to do. that is the hard part. by giving her freedom, you will see who she really wants. but its hard watching i know, but that is what you have to do.
if she does love you, she will tell her childhood "love" that at this point in her life she is taken and she is happy. if she hasnt done so already and its been longer than a week, be scared babe. so sorry, but obvioulsy he might stil have a hold on her. try and get her to remember all the good times you two have had together and remind her or ask her, why did they break up, get her to remeber the pain caused(if any) (probably is though) and she might think fu*k that, its not worth it, plus i love my new baby!
its a bad situation man, i feel for you, but only TIME will tell, the WORST thing you could do is to make her feel insecure cause i know you must feel slightly insecure right now init, and normaly people do the same to the person who is makeing them feel insecure. but if you do that to her, she will most likely think, well fu*k him, hes gonna go on like that. na i mean. just be really grown up and mature about it, show her you are alittle jelous, thats only natural, tell her how you feel inside. what can go wrong, if she is the RIGHT one for you,then she wil understand. if not, then you saved time.
goodluck with it all yeah **) x
2006-09-22 03:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think shes in love with the two of ye - just very confused. Maybe shes mistaking lust for her old boyfriend as love - they shared a very deep connection - it sounds like he was one of her first loves, and they always stay in your mind.
I think all you can do is give her space - let her know that you love her deeply and hope that she will choose you - but dont pressure her - if you do you'll only make her resent you and possible pick the other guy.
Im sure she'll realise what shes feeling and go for you.
2006-09-22 03:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't fret!!! I have been there my self and I know exactly what she is going through. Its hard to explain but, the thing is when I saw my ex childhood bf I melted and wanted to go back with him because I knew what he had to offer. Then I got to thinking and I knew that it would have been nice to be with him but, I was with my feance. Here I am stuck in the middle of something and I don't know what to do. I cryed a bit trying to figure out what I wanted and knowing that my decsion was going to be final made it even harder. I told my feance that I needed to talk to my ex and let my ex know how much I enjoyed our time together in the past and that I had moved on. Also I, told my ex that I will never forget him and that we will alwayz be friends but I cant keep thinking of him while i'm with my feance. It was like my ex was my father because I asked for him to give me his happyness and joy. Through out this whole ordeal I was glad that my feance stuck by my side and was very understanding. He knew that I had a big heart and that it was going to be difficult for me to let my ex childhood bf go.
So my suggestions are to have her go and talk to her ex and let him know that she has moved on. But, I know that its easier to say than do. The choice is in her hands now just be understanding and careing that is if you truly love her you'll wait no matter what choice she has made.
Blessed be!!!!
2006-09-22 03:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by willokta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she can't be deeply in love with the both of you. she may have different feeling for the ex and you .the only one that possibly can end with this it is you . I felt the same as you girlfriend before and I continued till they told me to choose between the both of them.
2006-09-22 03:55:29 · answer #6 · answered by VIANNEY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ! sad but true - the childhood sweet-heart thing is a traumatic experience... I see my childhood sweet heart in the street ever other day.. and I it hurts having to avoid her... I keep having to compose my self.. after I see her.. You have a serious problem on your hands and I feel for you.. Tell her she has to make up her mind Now..! before it messes your mind ..good luck..
2006-09-22 03:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People changed a lot after they grow up. Maybe she will find that childhood lover is no longer her type of guy. I believe she will eventually choose you. So just give her some more time,don't be mad cuz that will push her to that guy's arms!
2006-09-22 03:48:08 · answer #8 · answered by angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is possible to love more than one person but there is a profound difference between loving and being in love. It sounds to me as if she loves you both very much, but isn't in love with either of you.
2006-09-22 03:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by Janbull 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds confused you should speak with her over the matter and find out why she is running back to her past and ask her to be truthfull with you on who she wants to be with dont just drag it out someone will end up devestated in the end ! Good luck!!
2006-09-22 03:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sammy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋