There is a girl who I have know for a few years now and she has asked me out, I do not find her sexually attractive at all .plus we share very little in common she likes to drink and smoke where I value my health a LOT. In a nut shell I dont think she is good enough. Is it better to accept second best or be alone?
2006-09-22 03:36:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be honest, you cant go wrong then!
2006-09-22 03:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have that many issues already, a relationship would just put undue stress on the both of you. You're never alone when you have friends. You don't need a significant other to validate your existence. Just tell her that it wouldn't work as anything more, but you value her friendship and would like to keep it at that. She'll be hurt, but if she really cares about you as a friend, she'll get over it and won't let it affect things. Just talk it over. Communication is important. It lets everybody know what's up from the get-go, and that's worth a lot. You've got to respect somebody who can give you the 411 without all the sugar-coating and beating around the bush.
2006-09-22 10:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Never accept second best, because trust me i t will not last long, it's better you just come out, and tell her straight you are not interested, that she is basically not your type...never ever say yes to please someone, when they find out the truth they wont thank you for it, so tell it like it is now. You know some people say that people can grow on you if at first you dont find them attractive, but you would have to be willing to go through that process, so ask yourself if this is worth a try?...at the end of the day only you can make the decision. Good Luck.
2006-09-22 10:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered the question yourself, you have very little in common, and because off the drinking and smoking will probably want to go to different places then yourself.
You should never settle for second best, if you want more then wait for the right person (maybe wait is the wrong word, you have to get out there and try to meet people). But you should let this girl down gentle, she probably likes you, as you sound like you have your head screwed on properly, and try to stay freinds if she wants to.
Good luck in what ever you decide.
2006-09-22 11:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Loader2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't find her sexually attractive, I wonder if you just worry about what your friends think, the drinking and smoking is a problem especially if you are a non-smoker.
No chick is perfect, but ask yourself if you yourself like her, not what anyone else thinks. Do you think your relationship will last?
Second best is better than being alone, but if you will just break up anyway then maybe you should stay alone.
2006-09-22 10:44:28 · answer #5 · answered by angle_of_deat_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this girl does not have the qualities your looking for, then POLITELY tell her you value her friendship but would rather not date at this time.
Always stick to your values and date others who have similar values to yours and you will have a much better time.
Be alone? Why not be pro-active in searching for a girl who does have your values. Weighting for that someone special is worth being alone for a little while!!!
I really don't think this girl your telling us about is even second best.
2006-09-22 10:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by together420yrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely be alone. Don't compromise your values because you are afraid to be alone. Be polite to this girl, let her know that you appreciate the offer, but are not in a position to accept at this time. Just don't be rude and tell her the real reason.
2006-09-22 10:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by noambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing she is a friend- and you don't want to hurt her feelings- if so- I admire you for that- you should tell her you value your friendship to much to jeopardize it by chancing a love relationship- Let her know you are flattered- but unfortunately not interested-be kind-you would want the same thing for yourself!-Good Luck!
2006-09-22 10:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by sawgirl513 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kind of know what you mean, but I'm afraid to say that honesty is the best policy, if you dont fancy the pants off her at the beginning thats not going to change is it? get registered on a dating website and see whats out there!!
Good luck!
SJ
x
2006-09-22 10:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then just tell her that u cant see her as a shag.
but sound to me that she is better than u try to describe .u look to queerish or sort of mummy-sucker to me.
but by the way who am i communicating too?
Hugh grant?
and do not send me inappropriate e mails if ur is dead mine is as well and i have to live with it ur sort of second handed dramatic one daddy-sucker the next time u insult me i slap u in the face.
how dare u to talk about shagging when u only know what is being shagged u tosser
and shut up ...shut it there...no but or what...i mean it ...
shut up ...seat...yep...
2006-09-22 10:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by the black crab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman will ever be good enough for you, you are therefore destined to die unhappy and alone.
Just nut up and go out with her, what is it going to hurt? Wait long enough for the "best" to come along and you won't be pursued anymore by even the "second best".
2006-09-22 10:40:22 · answer #11 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋