My mom once said," why should I clean the house if you are going to leave anyways from here, when my kids get older as well, like you . I deserve money you are supposed to help me financially. " I am the oldest 25 yrs of 7 kids who I feel for but they dont understand the filth they live in yet. I moved out at 23 and she uses that against me when I bring the subject that her house needs to be cleaned the trash needs to be thrown away etc. She is 45 years old married to a grumpy, verbally abusive man of 76yrs.
2006-09-22 03:32:58 · 19 answers · asked by harlingenguy_2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she may be depressed but as she isnt an old woman she does have a choice how she lives,,some people just live like this,,be glad you have left,,dont succumb to blackmail,live your life and just try to be a son,not a doormat,,if all around are taking responsibility for her and the home she has no reason to do it herself.
2006-09-22 03:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your mom is depressed. Depression often makes it impossible to be organised or to clean up. But living in a mess makes the depression worse. Start by talking to your mom and letting her know you know how hard life must be for her. Tell her you will help to clean up. Encourage her to see a doctor about her depression. Tablets may help, but exercise will definitely help, so encourage her to go for long walks or at least get out every day. You are taking on a difficult job because no one has ever taught you how to clean up a house, but take it one step at a time. E.g. tell everyone that you will wash the dirty dishes today, but after the first time you expect everyone to wash up after themselves - EVERY TIME! (This includes your mom - just one dish at a time). Get some containers to use as indoor rubbish bins, line them with plastic bags (buy rolls of bags cheaply from supermarket)(makes cleaning much easier). Show these to your mom and your brother and tell them all rubbish MUST go in these bins, IMMEDIATELY it becomes rubbish. Then you can empty the bins daily which is quicker than going all over the house picking rubbish off the floor. Just take it slow - when you see a gradual improvement you will all feel better. If your brother is too tired, do his work for him on work days, but ask him to do his own work on his days off. Remember, a little every day, achieves much more than a big blitz every few months.
2016-03-27 02:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her incentive seems to be low. No energy, Think about it, She put herself in a bad position to start out ,marrying an older man, Hes grumpy to boot. It was hard on her body delivering 7 kids Your Mom needs lots of support from her husband and kids. Her husband should wake up and smell the roses. He knew what He was getting into when He married her. You try keeping things pick up after seven kids minus you. The kids should pitch in and help out. I came from a family of seven kids. My Dad was 15 years older. All the kids had to do our share pitching in. My mother was worn out from having kids, ,,,But your Dad is 31 years older Your mother might possibly be left alone with her younger kids. Look at all the facts. Why isn't somebody else throwing out the trash. Mom shouldn,t have to
2006-09-22 03:57:56 · answer #3 · answered by Roma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like your mom is lazy and irresponsible. Perhaps she hasn't officially "grown up" yet. Maybe when she grew up she had someone always do the work for her and never had to do any chores. Im 24 years old and I admit I can be lazy at times but I cannot stand being in a dirty environment. Tell your mom that she needs to realize how old she is and act her age and be more responsible. Tell her the house isn't exactly going to clean itself. Maybe your siblings should pitch in too and push your mom to be the mother she is suppose to be. Goodluck!
2006-09-22 03:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a mother like that and I had to seperate myself from her. I have not talked with her for 11 years. Im not saying that is the thing to do in your situation but she is verbally abusive and mentally abusive. And to have everyone in that house living in filth is not aceptable If I were you I would take your siblings out of that enviroment.
2006-09-22 03:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by brandala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like she's a little bitter on how her life turned out. All she's done is raised kids and no one has given her a hand. It's always been for the kids she needs to be a bit spoiled. Why don't you lend a had or hire someone to help her for the day.
2006-09-22 03:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not required to go over and clean her house. If you have brothers and sisters at home, you should call social services to get the kids out of there.
2006-09-22 10:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats just pure laziness and nasty she cant blame you for her not cleaning her house thats an excuse and as far as you supporting her you of course should help you mom out if you can in a time of need but what is her husband doing that is his primary job
2006-09-22 03:36:49 · answer #8 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is awful. Her house should probably be condemned. Try and get her some help from the state or something. She is probably mentally ill. This sounds too big for you to handle even with your large family.
2006-09-22 05:42:55 · answer #9 · answered by madamesophia1969 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold on a minute why cant everyone help her clean ?? why is it only up to her ?? seven kids at home and not one helps ?? sounds like lazy kids and tired mom and as for grumpy old dad can't help it if she's stayed with him and taken his abuse sounds like she needs to move out !!
2006-09-22 03:42:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋