I saw one of the pastors from my church subcribed to it! I only have a free trial so I was able to view and chat with singles. He SUBCRIBED to it! He wants a woman that is BI !!!!! This man is married with 3 young girls andan 18 year old girl! I am afraid for them.( the small ones) What in the world should I do. We are a very small church trying to expand, I have known the head Pastor all my life, The man on the web sight is new to our church.Should I warn my Pastor, should I print out a copy of his page and annonomusly leave it in my Pastors office? What? What? What? I truly think this is big I know it's his personal life but a Pastor should have better morals than this. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
2006-09-22 02:37:51 · 29 answers · asked by hippie chic 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How you approach it probably depends on your church's beliefs. Some churches may not expect monogamy in marriage but I'm assuming because you're upset about this, your church or religion does. It could be that this is something the Pastor and his wife want to explore but if he's supposed to be a model for the congregation and the congration is supposed to be mongamous, well, there's a problem.
You could follow scriptural advice to address this. There is a scripture (sorry, don't have my Bible with me) that says if you see your brother commit a sin, take it to him. If he does not resolve it with you, bring a witness with you and go before a council.
For this, I'd say you should approach him in private and explain what you saw. If he doesn't admit to it or essentially tells you to mind your own business, take a witness before a council. (which could be a print out of his personal's page or if you have a close friend, make sure they see it as well -- timing could be difficult because you don't want to show the friend before you approach your pastor but you don't want to give the pastor a chance to remove it if he's going to play like it's none of your business)
Even with a newer church, I would imagine there's some group who is responsible for the development of the place. Like the head Pastor and others. Bring the evidence (print out and a friend) to them. Explain that you talked to the pastor in private and what happened. Then leave it in their laps to deal with.
I saw someone write on here that it's none of your business. That's a load of poo. This person is a spiritual model and advisor. The Bible says that those responsible in the congregation are to be chaste men. It is absolutely your business, especially if the pastor has seen fit to post such an ad on a public website.
2006-09-22 03:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by stimply 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough. Your asst. pastor is held to a higher standard and his job is to assist as the congregation's spiritual leader. If he is actually the one on this site, then as a loving member of the congregation, you have an obligation to bring this brother back into the fold. He may be wavering in his faith or may be struggling with some addition or just be cheating on his wife. Either way, his conduct is not appropriate to God, his wife or the church. Don't tell any other members. Since he's a a right-hand man to your sr. pastor, go to the pastor and tell him what you think is happening. The problem is that he is looking for ANYONE, BI or otherwise, on a dating site and he is married. I don't know that his girls are in danger just because he is looking for a BI woman. Before you do anything, pray on it so that the Lord will lead you in the right direction and that the information you give will be received in the right spirit. I hope all turns out well.
2006-09-22 03:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by pearl101 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would first think of his children and wife and that what you do might hurt them (like publicly shame them if their father has a problem.) Second, I would confront him privately. If you don't feel comfortable with being one-on-one with him, find somebody that is close to you, a spiritual elder or good Christian example, and the 2 of you pray as to what to say, and then meet with him. Let him explain if it is not him, or if he has other excuses. Then tell him, the bottom line is that as a pastor he is held to a higher standard than most people, and that this is not acceptable. If he is not willing to change or take down his profile, I would then go to the sr. pastor. I would always think about his family, and if you go to the pastor, that he might be out of job, etc...
2006-09-22 03:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by ht_butterfly27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that the picture was not taken from somewhere else?
What an effective way to get revenge, if you're angry at someone..especially a Church Pastor. Copy a picture from somewhere (like the Church photo books or newspaper) and put in on an on-line site.
MANY of the photos on those sites are NOT the real photos, plus your registered information for credit cards don't have photos on them. So, you could register and put a picture of your neighbor or one from a web-site and unless someone knows the picture (as you do in this case) no one would be the wiser, until they meet the person face to face.
I'm not saying it's NOT him. I'm just saying there are stranger things that have happened.
2006-09-22 03:15:37 · answer #4 · answered by LittleBitOfSugar 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yikes- this is a sticky one. Everyone sins, and it is not our place to judge. However, this is a serious situation as he is the head of a church, as well a husband and father. he could be very well involved in extra marital activities that would endanger the health and welfare of his wife and family. While that is not your repsonsibility, morally, you do have to act in some fashion.
I think alot would depend on if you know him personally or not. If you do, and I mean like you know him well, you could print the main page of his ad, and with someone else close to you that can be mature and keep the situation confidential, go to himprovately and let him know you saw it. You need to take someone with you for safety- even htough you have known the guy all your life, you never know how someone could possibly react. A witness would be helpful.You dont have to really say anything except that you saw the ad online, and that you hope that he will refrain from such public activity in the future while he is head of the church. Period.
Or, you could mail the ad to the office. The consequence in that is that anyone could open it. It may not give him the oppourtunity to correct his behavior and could cause public scandal. It is not in any organizations best interest, especially a church, to have such things go public, *except* when crimes are being committed. (sexual abuse, etc.)
Or, does your church have a council, a group of elders? You could present your findings to them, and let them address the situation. Or, you could address it anonymously to a coucil member or elder if that is better.
Or, you could do his wife a favor, and meet with her privately, and give her the ad, or mail it to her. But something tells me that if you mail it, she may not get it. If this were my husband, I would want someone to tell me. That woman could be given AIDS or something if he is actually cheating and having sex with others.
Hard one. I would pray about it also, and see where God led me. But I would not hesitate too long.
Good luck. Hope I helped some.
I am sorry- I may have misundertood some of your post- if this guy is not the head pastor, then certainly, I would print it and take it to the head of the church and let him deal with it.
2006-09-22 03:04:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not sure if this has been mentioned, but maybe the reason your pastor is on that site looking for a Bi-chick is so he can find a girl to have a three-way with him and his wife. The ethics of it are questionable, but maybe that something that he and his wife enjoy.
I'd keep my nose out of it, so long as he's not doing anything illegal.
2006-09-22 05:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Print it and personally take it to your pastor. When people are in leadership positions in a church they have an obligation to the church people. If you saw it then someone else from your church might to. Your head pastor will know how to handle this. Don't be a gossip though. Pray for this man. We are all human but if your going to preach then do the right thing. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-09-22 02:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
wow! that's amazing! you're amazing! Well this certainly proves all the non-believers wrong. No doubt about it. That's definitely a UFO. What else could that be? A light moving around? lol, stupid people are so blind to the truth. You and me know the truth, and will be the first to accept the probes of our alien overlords. I can't wait brother!
2016-03-27 02:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well............. if you feel you must, print it out, and send it to the church, but don't let anyone know it was you. Maybe he isn't the one really in the ad, people have been known to steal pictures off the web and put them on dating sites....but your head pastor should know about it. Just send it anonymous!
2006-09-22 02:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by Judith O 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are a member of the church, then he is not only your pastor; but also your brother and you should HELP HIM if you think he is wrong.
If he is bisexual, then he does not pose ANY threat to his girls. Peadephiles and Hebophiles want sex with children. NOT normal bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual people.
Approach this man, tell him you are aware of what he is doing and ask him to fix it. ABOVE ALL, if you are part of the church; pray for him.
2006-09-22 02:51:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋