Another ? about kindergarden.My 5yr. old Grandaughter just started, SHE DID NOT GO TO PRE-SCHOOL.As far as?

Question

learning goes she is doing very good, the problem is she is having crying outbursts and screeming problems. Whenever they are doing something and it's time to move on to something different she'll start the crying or when the teacher trys to help her she doesn't want the help. When it's time for gym class she screems and has to be taken back to the classroom. We have met with the teacher , trying to figure out what to do and why this is happening? Sometimes this happens at home also. Any suggestions would be greatly apprieciated.

Answer 1

Is there a school counselor at her school? At my daughter's school there is 3 and the grades are divided up between them. Our counselors have groups where they have kids deal with different emotions or issues they are going through. My daughter went to a mixed group last year, she was having problems standing up for herself and not getting pushed around, but one girl in the group had issues similar to your Granddaughter's. Call the school and ask to talk to the counselor. Our counselor's will also come to the classroom and step in and take the child to a calm environment until a crying fit stops. It just sounds as if your granddaughter is a child who doesn't transition easy. It's actually fairly common. Maybe the teacher could tell her several minutes before it's time to switch activities or before gym time, and gently remind her right before it's time to go. If your school doesn't have a counselor, talk to her pediatrician for some suggestions. And ask her at home why she is having such a difficult time. Keep communicating with the teacher, chances are this isn't the first time she's seen this behavior. You should all be able to brainstorm together to find a solution. Also, is something stressful going on in her environment, either at home or school? Stress can cause children to act out in many areas. Good Luck to you all.

P.S.- I don't think your grand-child is spoiled. Some children are just more sensitive to change and have problems adjusting.

Answer 2

When is her birthday? If she is a late summer born or early fall born child she is way too young to be starting kindergarten. If this is the case, pull her out! Give it some time and enroll her in preschool 4 days a week no more that 3 hours per day. I have been teaching preschool for 12 years and in the case of almost every late summer born and early fall born child advise the parents not to send them on. It does not matter what they know academically. What matters most is social and emotional development. Children who start kindergarten early often fall behind. They cry more, have a hard time making friends, playing games, following directions, being on the playground. The other children often see them as the "babies." Also, a lot of children who start kindergarten early are held back. They see their peers move on. They feel something is wrong with them because they were left behind. Also think about her later years. She will always be the youngest. She won’t be able to play sports (they have a cut off age). She'll be a 16 year old in high school with 18 year olds (boys!). She will forever try and catch up.

If this is not the case, I suggest you arrange as many play dates as possible (at least 3 times a week). She will then start to feel more comfortable socially and then become more comfortable in the classroom.

It sounds like she also has a hard time with transitions. At home, let her know how long she can continue something before needed to transition “Dinner time in 5 minutes.” Also, do some role playing with her. Pretend to be the teacher and help her.

Empathize with her. Say I can tell you must be feeling very (mad, frustrated, upset, angry). What can we do about that? She will then learn to better express her emotions rather that cry and scream.

Give her a place a home where she can cry and scream. We all need to vent from time to time. When she starts up, gently take her to a place away from you (her room, a pillow) and tell her “When you are ready to calm down then you can come out.” This is not a time out (you controlling her). She returns when she’s ready to control herself.

Help her to feel confident by saying things like “You did that by yourself! Look how high you can jump! You used so many colors on you picture!” These phrases are much better than extrinsic rewards (“Good job!” candy, stickers). They will help her to feel powerful in a positive way.

Here is a link to some kindergarten readiness skills. Hope this helps! Good luck!
http://216.109.125.130/search/cache?ei=u...

Answer 3

I've got a question, does she do this when it's time to move onto another activity? That's what it sounds like. First thought is that she's really spoiled. And that will be fixed with time, hopefully and a lot of reiterating the point that you can't scream and throw fits. However, my second though is that she has an attention disorder or an obsessive compulsive disorder. I was thinking this because she's so into what ever they're doing she doesn't want to be interrupted. If there is no way she's spoiled, then I would have someone look at her. I was a perfectionist, which is an obsessive compulsive disorder, and you can't talk to me or do anything until whatever I was working on was perfect. I even organized my M&M's by color and amount and ate them in that order.

Answer 4

My daughter didn't go to preschool either, and they are actually talking about moving her ahead to first grade, so don't let people tell you that she is messed up because she didn't attent preschool. It is a new adjustment for her and I think the best thing to do is not to give in to her tantrums, make her sit on the side if she won't participate in gym and ignore her when she does the outbursts, have the teacher offer her help and move on maybe then when she feels comfortable she will ask for help. I recommend getting an new babysitter for some time when she is not in school even if the parents are home, someone with kids around so she can get used to different things and not rely on her parents so much, and this way she isn't disrupting her class getting used to new surroundings.

Answer 5

my son just started Kindergarten this year also sounds like she could be having some seperation issues. I know you've said she wasnt in pre-school but what about daycare? was she home with mom those first 5 years? if she is having trouble adjusting to being away from home try setting up a weekly appointment for her with the school counselor they can help her work through the seperation anxiety and learn what she has to do in class so that she's not upset or disrupting the class. I'm assuming that she doesnt want the teacher to help when she gets upset because she's not used to another authority figure other than family. If she's doing it at home also and it seems to be getting worse talk to her doctor and see if he has any suggestions. best of luck to you and her

Answer 6

I hate to be alarmist but this sounds like a learning disability. ADHD and autism both come with an unnatural resistance to change, Its hard to know without learning more about the situation. Try to do the same things at the same time every day, if she does have a learning disability you will need to be religious about this. E.g; on Mondays she wears her blue dress on Tuesdays her purple jeans etc. always go the same route whenever you go out whether it be walking or in the car. That way she will feel more secure (hopefully) And keep things like bedtime and wake-up time the same. You might even have to eat the same things at the same time, e.g; apple for morning tea, carrot sticks for afternoon tea. Mince on Monday, Steak on Tuesday, Fish on Wednesday, Chicken on Thursday, Sausages on Friday The other thing that might help is give her a 5 minute warning then a 2 minute countdown to change. E.g; "5 minutes to mat time", then "two more minutes painting then its mat time".Make sure she knows what is about to happen so she doesn't get surprised. As I said at the beginning I hate to be an alarmist and there is every likelihood that it's just a phase and she will grow out of it.

Answer 7

My daughter has been doing the same thing as well. She went from normally behaved to mood swings every hour. Although she had preschool for 2 years she is doing this. I spoke to one of her school aides and she told me that a lot of kids feel out of control because suddenly their whole world is flipped upside down. My daughter was used to being one of the big kids and now she is the littlest kid. She is having trouble trying to prove herself and show that she can be grown up. Also, the loss of control over her normal life can just be upsetting...
My daughter hasnt quite gotten over this and we are still working with her but I think it is a long tough road, and sticking to your regular discipline will work really well keeping her feeling that not that much has changed.

Answer 8

I think she sounds spoiled. Kids are not the boss. Adults are, and by everyone giving in she gets her way. If she continues screaming have the teacher put her in a special spot in the room and let her know she will sit there until she stops!!!! Then when she sees everyone continuing without her and ignoring her tantrums she will get the picture. She is taking away from time the teacher needs to spend with the class.

Answer 9

My son started kindergarten a few weeks ago...I'm sorry and I hope this doesn't sound mean..but your granddaughter seems VERY spoiled! If she doesn't get what she wants... when she wants it..she screams until she gets her way...I'd make her stay with the class and participate with everyone else..she'll eventually get tired of screaming and crying and see that everyone else is having fun...Our son is the total opposite..he wants to keep changing and doing different things...He LOVES school ..and he had NO pre school either..this is his first involvement with children his own age...he's got older siblings and a younger brother...He does scream at home when things don't go his way..but he's out growing that too...GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Time is the answer. She is not used to it and is learning later then most kids. I really think kids need to be in some sort of social program by at least 3 years old.