he, hi anybody pls send me nice humourous jokes. so pls send me some.10 pts 2 best 1?

Question

not that dirty 1

Answer 1

Rowing Your Boat
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

OR

Why are you yelling that?
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"

In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"

The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.

In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod (GRASS) across the street.


TRY THIS oNE


You've got mail
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."




Let's take a trip to Disney
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.

Answer 2

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1)I do physical labor
2)I work at great depths
3)I plunge head first into everything I do
4)I do not get weekends off or public holidays
5)I work in a damp environment
6)I don't get paid overtime
7)I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8)I work in high temperatures
9)My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1)You do not work 8 hours straight
2)You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
3)You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4)You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
5)You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6)You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7)You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
8)You'll retire well before reaching 65
9)You're unable to work double shifts
10)You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

Answer 3

The evidence is while somebody you have confidence tells you that is actual. For you, that isn't me reason i don't be responsive to you LOL yet with any luck the "evidence" would be shared with somebody who's be conscious you will take as reality. For me, it grew to become into what "no longer a Supermom" advised me. I take her be conscious for it. The evidence is actual no longer shared with everybody by way of fact the lady who has the evidence would not choose her identity primary. Soph's Mum is a whack job and not purely is conscious own info like cellular numbers yet she may additionally end a womans marriage with what she is conscious. individually i do no longer choose each and all the grimy info. i'm confident she's whacked.

Answer 4

A guy walks down a beach and finds a lamp buried in the sand. He rubs it and out come 2 blonde genies.

They offer him 3 wishes and pouf! the guy finds himself in a huge mansion filled with beautiful naked women in which he makes love to them all.

Once finished he starts walking and feels something under his feet, he is walking on $100 bills.

The doorbell rings, he answers and there are 2 people from the KKK. They drag the man out of the mansion, wrap a rope around his neck and let him hang from a tree.

They take their blankets off and it's the 2 genies.

One of the blondes say, "I can understand wanting to make love to all those women, be wickedly rich but I don't understand why he wanted to be hung like a black man?".

hahaha

Answer 5

A meeting is interrupted when a young boy yells, "MOMMY, I WANT TO WEEEE!"

The red faced mom took her son to the bathroom and told him, "Next time don't YELL ~ I want to WEEEE ~ just WHISPER. OK?"

"ok mommy"

That night, the parents' bedroom door opens and the boy tugs on his dad's pyjama sleeve.

"Daddy, I want to, er .. I want to Whisper!"

"That's nice son. Whisper in my ear."