My girlfrend who has just turned 37. 2 year older to me. we are dating 5 months. she is seperated from her husband 1 year ago. she hs 2 kids boy aged 12 and 10 year old girl. the children ready to accept me as a part of family.i proposed her for marraige.though she agreed and accepted my proposal. she s worrying bout someting. i tried to ask her bout problem. and assured her i would never leave her and her kids. she s not open about the topic. can u help me. how can i rid of her insecurity. i love her
2006-09-22 01:49:18 · 19 answers · asked by Egor B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She isn't even divorced yet so perhaps she isn't thinking about another marriage, you dolt!
2006-09-22 01:52:13 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's been hurt once already and left to rebuild the lives of herself and her children. She needs time to adjust and reassurance that you will be there for her. If you have only been together 5 months she might think it's too good to be true and moving a bit fast for her to catch up emotionally. Make it an open dated event so she can marry you when SHE is ready and not as quickly as you got engaged.
2006-09-22 08:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way when I met my CURRENT husband (keep him on his toes..LOL)...
I had been divorced for a while though..but swore that I would NEVER get married again...10 yrs I was REAL slow with dating until I met him...he asked me after dating less than a month..I hesitated as well..NOT because I didn't love him..cause I do...very much...but because..it wasn't just ME this time...even though my children both liked him...I just didn't want THEM to get hurt..I've got a tough layer of protection covering my heart..but they don't!! Ya know...just be glad she said yes..and tell her you're there to talk whenever she has any doubts or troubles...THAT's what makes a relationship!
2006-09-22 09:02:35 · answer #3 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the crap hitting the fan, dude!! RUN THE OTHER WAY FAST!!! She's stalling because she's still married to someone else!!
You've only been with her five months and you want to get married???
Are you nuts?? Or are you feeling sorry for her, and trying to be her big protector?
Plus, she has baggage from her last relationship, that hasn't been declared over, legally??? If you think those kids are going to listen to you, you have a sad, horrible experience coming! (Remember this phrase: You're not my daddy, I don't have to do what you say! Or the golden oldie: I'm tellin everyone you touched me on my privates if you don't let me go to whomever's party this weekend!)
Get you someone who isn't already married, and who doesn't have a pre-made family in tow for you to waste your time and money on.
2006-09-22 08:56:07 · answer #4 · answered by thatwench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's only been a year since she separated from her husband, so the wounds are still fresh. She probably worried that history will repeat itself. It's a natural reaction (at least it was for me). Just continue to love her and be there and the insecurities will resolve themselves. In a situation like this, actions speak much louder than words.
2006-09-22 08:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by T.G. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Her ex-husband might have abused her two kids and she does not want any body else to do that same thing. So its not that she is insecure its just that she's trying to protect her kids. I know I would do the same thing for my baby thats just 3 months old at this time.
2006-09-22 08:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love her marry her, the kids obviously love you, besides they are a few years from being 18- and out of the house anyway, they will go off to college, and you'll have her all to yourself lol to make more of them or something. True love only comes along once in life, and if you feel like you cant live with out her, then shes the one.
2006-09-22 08:53:05 · answer #7 · answered by Jamez 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It takes some women longer to rebuild trust in a partner. Give her lots of reassurance and time don't rush her. After all five months is not that long to jump into a lifetime commitment.
2006-09-22 08:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give her some more time , at least another six months , it is good for you both to understand each others nature / liking / disliking / new responsibilities etc , then I am sure , you both will take appropriate and right decision . Good luck .
2006-09-22 08:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sure her insecurity is from already being married for many years, and the fact that the 2 of you have only been together for 5 months. all you have to do is stand up to your word, and show her that you mean what you say.good luck, hun
2006-09-22 08:52:12 · answer #10 · answered by blondie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you two have only been dating for 5 months. So she is probably worried about if she accepted your proposal too soon. Maybe you should ask her if she thinks it too soon for you to have asked her to marry you.
2006-09-22 08:52:07 · answer #11 · answered by . 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋