This is the longest question ever, but I would really appreciate and honest truthful answer, thanks?

Question

Ok here goes:


I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years

A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago


can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything

This is what she replied

hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.





This is what I replied



hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.




Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young

Answer 1

She is letting you down easy...

Answer 2

well i can understand her actions cuz it happened 2 me too ,look first she really likes ur friendship so DON'T ruind it by keep asking these questions(why u avoiding me and ...) she has some feeling 4 u but she is not sure abt it and she is scraed if it isn't true she would destroy the beautiful friendship u both have now . so all u have to do ( as i see it) is giving her space don't push on her in any way and keep being a friend a good friend 2 her , let her feel comfortable when she is with u ,let her tell u all her problems and help her but don't say anything abt u two even if u have special feelings 4 her and she is talking abt another boy.after that she will feel more close 2 u and if she had any feelings 4 u b4 it will be more , i hope that was helping .Good luck

Answer 3

I personally dont think she is interested, she has told you that she doesn't want to ruin the friendship so you have to take this as letting you down gently.

Maybe the reason she became more comfortable around you after she had sent the email was because she was unsure about how you were thinking about her and now she's told you that she just wants to be friends she can relax around you without being worried about how you would interpret it.

You say that she flirts more with you when you dont pay her much attention well it's it sounds like although she doesn't want a relationship with you but she likes the fact that you have a crush on her and she relishes this attention from you. Maybe it's some sort of power trip or maybe she just likes to be liked. It's not fair of her to be doing this to you and you should move on, you dont have to quit seeing her altogether but if you show that you have accepted she doesn't want a relationship with you, one of two things will happen 1) she will realise what she's lost (as in, 'you dont know what you've got until it's gone') 2) She may miss your friendship and realise that it was wrong of her to be giving you mixed signals.

Answer 4

Yes this is the longest question ever lol. It sounds like she doesn't want to be with you. Don't keep pushing her either. If I were you I would email her back and say I respect your wishes and we can remain friends and nothing else. See what she says. Start treating her like a friend, be polite, etc. But don't kiss her a s s anymore. Trust me, when you do this, the truth will come out. Whether she is scared of being with you, scared to ruin a friendship, not into you, etc. Whenever someone lets you be, and they respect your decision, it gives the other person time to think of what they want to do. Women/men love attention and when they lack it from someone who use to like them, they come around quicker and now all of a sudden they are the ones chasing you. Anyway try not to read into things, she says she wants to be friends and thats it, let things be. You'll get your answer if you stay away and act as friends. The answer will be I want to be just friends, a relationship etc.

One last thing though - you guys are very young still!!!! God you have so much to experience. I wasn't even in a relationship till I was 17

Answer 5

First...15 and 13 are young. Don't worry so much about relationships. Have fun with your friends. Do all the things that you enjoy doing.

Second...I know what she's going through. I am flirty with my male friends. That's just how some of my friendships work. But it's all innocent. One of my friends developed feelings for me, but I honestly had never thought of him as anything other than a friend. I was one of the guys. I didn't want that to change.

Give her time and space. Just focus on your friendship. It's great that you have been friends for so long. You have a lot of time for things to happen. If she's the one for you, then she will realize it. It may be 5 years from now or more. But in the meantime, just have fun, enjoy school, and figure out who you are!

Answer 6

Ok you don't want me to tell you, your too young.
How about she is too young. Granted mentally most females grow up faster then males, but from what you have writen your seem to have a good head on your shoulders.
There is a saying.
Let it go, if it doesn't come back it was never yours.
She is younger then you, and she told you she is dealing with life.
Her body is changing, and she is more then likely doing her best to cope with become a young lady, or there could a million other things going on that she is struggling with.

Ok letting go is hard, so at least show her some resepect and back off.
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

Answer 7

First let me say your not too young for these feelings however it's time you learn the harsh realities of girls they like the bad boys the ones who play hard to get. It's hard to start anything with a friend first of all you know too much about each other already where's the excitment in that second she knows you will be there so she has fallen into a pattern of taking you for granted it's unfortunate but love starts out a game they say that all ends when you settle down but my fiance and I still play with each others emotions from time to time so I don't know about all that what I do know is if you move on she'll come back hang with other friends for awhile don't let her see you sweat this and in no time she will show up flirting again but this time you have to be aloof a little show her you can flirt back but not too much when she askes why explain that you respect your friendship too much to shamlessly flirt before you know it she will be asking you out and if not it's good practice for later.

Answer 8

well no am not gonna tell u that ur too young cuz am the same age of ur girl. firstly its most probably she likes u very much and hold to u but she doesn't wanna ruin all that. u kno we girls of these age think that we shud be waiting a bit more to find the rite guy maybe its her way too of thinking, well i mean she wants to get close to u. friends r closer thatn lovers sometimes and thats the relation she wants to keep but that doesn't mean wen i girl doesn't talk to u means she is avoiding u! she isn't letting u down because if she continues to talk to u all these times and is behaving the same way that means she is cool and isn't on the way to let u down its simple as this. she feels scared and insecure like every girl of our age but thats normal(or else she wudn't be normal). wat i mean to say is that she feels scared to have a bf as its new and sudden and its a fear to lose some1 and on the other side she likes u so it wudn't at all mean her leaving u!! in bref stick to her till she gets out the thing that she likes u too or loves u maybe!

Answer 9

she's scared because she doesnt know wats going to happen if ya get together, she has thought of being more than friends with u, but maybe she had second thoughts about it. and the reason why she's actind different is probably cause she feels guilty for rejecting u. just wait and show her how much u respect her, if its meant to be you'll end up together. everything hapens for a reason

Answer 10

She was probably letting you down easy. STOP thinking about her as a gf...you should be thinking about how lucky you are to have her as a friend. If she liked you, she would have told you. Don't be crossing the line...she said no.

Answer 11

she's only 13 and i think she isn't ready to be involved that way.
she is right about just being friends. she likes you for sure though. just relax and enjoy each others companionship for what it is.
in time it may grow into a deeper relationship. she might be sad cause she thinks she will lose you as a friend. it would be better to have her as a friend than to lose her altogether.