I have heard a lot of my friends say that they stay in a relationship for their kids sake. But doesnt it affect the children too if they continue to live together because it making life hell not just to them but their offspring?
2006-09-22 00:15:34 · 27 answers · asked by armenia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am passionately against people staying together for the sake of the kids - that's what my mum and stepdad did when i was younger and i gotta tell you being witness to all the stuff that went on (bit of an extreme case, not your usual breakup) f*cked me up a bit.
It's kinder to kids to just split and let them have two happy parents.
2006-09-22 00:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by Kerri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a family where the parentals always fought, no i don't think it is fair that they should stay together just for the sake of me. At the time (of being a kid) i may have seen it differently but now (late 20's) i feel bad for what they had to go through. No, im not saying its my fault, hell it had nothing to do with me why their relationship didn't work. Also it does carry through to your own life because its human nature to do the things you know even if you don't want to. Because its the only thing we know.
2006-09-22 07:28:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this is what lots of couples do! Stay together for the sake of the kids!! They obviously do it because they think that they are doing the right thing, but this is totally the opposite.
My boyfriend has been in such a situation and he says that it would have been much better if his parents would have separated and put him in an orphanage than witnessing his father beating his mother.
Today, his mother is happy again, the beatings has stopped but my boyfriend still hates his father so very much after what he witnessed. Whatever his father does, for him it is bad (most of the time it is ;-)). And seeing how it all effected his young mind, and her being happy again, it makes him even more frustrated. He asks himself how could she live a happy life again with such a beast of a man. Seeing her forgiving his father is making him angry towards her as well now.
Would'nt you all agree that it would have been better if they had separated and he would still have 2 separate parents whom he could love both?
2006-09-22 07:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no because if you make the kids the reason for staying it still never works and the kids get caught up in all the problems they ane not chess pieces, if the relationship is failing seperate and if you can't get on with the situation divorce its not fair on the children either way but they are more happier when you are plus they will be loved and spoilt by both parents in there own way, children don't hold you responsible they do get over it!
2006-09-22 07:46:21 · answer #4 · answered by angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does affect the kids and it does make their life a living hell. Those kids will grow up having stomach aches,depression,mistrust of ppl jsut to name a few things that they will have . Also some children suffer traumas from so much fighting that they always have problems.So to answer your question yes better to split than to stay together for the kids.
2006-09-22 07:19:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When parents fight, a child has an innate ability to blame themselves. "If I'd been good, they wouldn't fight.." etc. No, it's not fair to stay together for the kids if your lives together are terrible. A peaceful home is a happier home, and if it takes splitting up, so be it. The children will be a lot less traumatized by seperated but happy parents then unhappy together ones.
2006-09-22 07:22:10 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal feelings are this is a really selfish reason to stay together. Children would be better off sharing time between two parents who are happy and alone then together and life is full of tension. Of course the children suffer in this type of atmosphere. It gives them very confused and mixed signals for future relationships in their own lives.
2006-09-22 07:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If not fair, but a some couples think that staying together "for the kids" is the right thing to do. I believe that kids are smarter than they are given credit for and they can see when their parents' relationship is dead.
2006-09-22 07:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a family of 9 and when we were all small my parents didnt love each other but stayed together because none of them wanted us kids,it would of been alot kinder to seperate and for us all to go up for adoption.
My childhood was hell on earth
,living with two people that could not bear each other,its kinder to seperate,sooner rather than later
2006-09-22 07:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not fair to use children as an excuse to stay together. The parents are doing it to make themselves feel better and as you say, not taking into consideration the effect it has on the children.
2006-09-22 07:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by Val 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋