Can anyone send me a joke?

Question

It should be really funny.

Answer 1

a teacher who just transformed to a school was in her first class for the day, she wanted to test the students psychology and asked

teacher: anyone who thinks that they are stupid please stand up.

no one stood up for a moment and then jimmy stood up.

teacher: so, jimmy. you think that you are stupid.

jimmy: no teacher. i'm not. but i do hate to see you standing up
alone.

you like my joke? this is my best.

Answer 2

here's one joke tht i think its quite funny and silly...

There was a just married White couple that decided to make love on
their wedding night in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife
did not want to get pregnant and requested the husband to buy condoms
from the shop nearby. When the husband went out, the wife waited
anxiously in the room with all the lights switched off.
The husband had a hard time finding a shop that sold condoms and when he
finally found one, he realized that he had only one 20 cents coin. He
asks the shop owner to sell him one condom and the shop owner asked him
which quality he wanted.
"The white condom, lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black condom,
average quality, is 20 cents each. And the purple condom, highest
quality, is 25 cents each."
So the husband took the black condom as he had only 20 cents with him.
While the husband was out, a black thief came into the room. The wife
did not notice and thought that it was her husband.
She grabbed the thief and happily started making love. The wife was so
exhausted that she fell asleep immediately.
When the husband reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.
Without a warning, he jumped onto his wife, mounted her and started
making love vigorously. The wife was surprised that the husband was so
energetic as
she thoroughly enjoyed the session. Nine months later, the wife gave
birth to a black baby boy. When the baby grew up, he asked the father.
"Papa, why am I black and you are white?" The father shouted "You are
damn lucky, 5 cents more and you would have been PURPLE!"

Answer 3

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

"I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,"And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Answer 4

A man arrives home one evening and found his wife in bed with another man. The husband grabbed the offending man by his pecker and dragged him to the garage. After putting his private parts into a vice and removing the key so it couldn't be loosened he walked over to the bench and took a saw off the hanger.
The naked offender said, "My god you are not going to cut it off?"
The husband replied, "Oh no sir, this is for you. I am going to set fire to the garage and leave. What you do next is your decision."

Answer 5

This dog wants to a loan from the bank but he's kind of nervous so he asks his human friend to go with him. (Hang with me, it gets better.) They go into the bank and the human says, my friend here want to get a loan. And the teller there says,

"You'll have to talk to our loan person, Miss Patty Wack."

So they go over to Miss Patty Wack and the dog say that he wants to get a loan. and Miss Patty Wack says,

"You need some collateral, I can't give you a loan without collateral."

So the dog pulls out this little bag and gives it to Miss Patty Wack. She looks in it and starts laughing.

The man says,
"Why are you laughing at my friend."

And Miss Patty Wack says,
"I can't use this for collateral, I don't even know what it is."

And the man says,
"It's a knickknack Patty Wack, give the dog a loan."

Answer 6

theres a welsh man a irish man and a scottish man they wanted to c ho could drop their watches of a 5 story buil -ding and beet the watch. The welsh man went 1st but he was to slow. The irish man tried but he was to slow. The scottish man goes down one flight of stairs and has a cup of tea goes down another has dinner goes down another an went shoping and so on and so fourth for 5 floors. And when he reached the bottom he beat the watch and his friends were like WOW COOL HOW DID U DO THAT he replies MY WATCH IS AN HOUR SLOW!!!!!

Answer 7

A publican is shutting for the night when there is a knock at the door. When he answers, a tramp asks him for a tooth-pick. He gives him the tooth-pick and tramp goes off. A few minutes later there is another knock on the door. When he answers there is another tramp there who also asks him for a tooth-pick. He gets the tooth-pick and off he goes. There is a third knock at the door, and a third tramp. The publican says, "Don't tell me, you want a tooth-pick too"."No, a straw".The publican gives him a straw but is curious why he wants it,so he asks the tramp why he wants a straw and not a toothpick."Some bloke just threw up outside but all the good stuff is gone already

Answer 8

Qustion:
whats the similarities between Mikael Jackson and an xbox?

Answer:
Their made of plastic and little kids turn them on.

Answer 9

Snail goes into a bar, Barman says "You cannot come in here" picks up snail and throws it into the field.
Two years later the snail goes into the same bar and says to the barman "Why did you do that?"

Answer 10

Well it may not sound too funny to you, but every time I look in the mirror I can't stop laughing!!!