I went to see my dr yestereday, since I've been having problems with my depression and anxiety more and more lately. After talking for a good while, she recommends that I take a week or two off from work ( i am an RN on a very busy unit ) When I talked to my hubby about this, he said its up to me, but we could really use the money right now (we're saving up to buy a house). Way to guilt trip me. I feel that I do need a little break, just until I get my head on straight and start feeling a little better. I mean, I hold ppl's lives in my hands every day, and if I'm not up to par, what happens if an error occurs and someone gets hurt??
So if I do take time off, my hubby will be disappointed in me, and yes I have explained to him my reasons for agreeing with my dr and how I'm feeling. If I don't then I have the constant worry about making a mistake since I am having problems concentrating.
Any suggestions? To take a leave, or not to take a leave, that is my question.
2006-09-21 23:04:58 · 14 answers · asked by kinndee 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
My dr and I did discuss bringing my husband in next week to talk with both me and the dr. We have a wonderful relationship, and hes not the type to guilt trip me, but he just really wants to buy a house and start a family. My dr agrees that maybe we should stop trying for now, at least until I get things back in order, and then try again. So he agreed to go with me next week and she's gonna reinforce what I already told him.
2006-09-21 23:17:19 · update #1
No, my hubby doesn't have depression or anxiety, actually he has no health problems. He knows that I have depression, but it has been well controlled since we got together, so he's never actually seen me in the state that I am in. Its very hard for him to understand sometimes the physical and mental pain that I suffer from... but I have tried, and he is trying to understand. We talked a little more, and he told me to do whatever I need to do to get back to myself. Soo, I went to my HR dept today and got the papers. I know that I should take a leave, but I hate to abandon my coworkers since we're short handed as it is. And I know that if I dont do this, I may end up with more problems than needed.
2006-09-22 09:19:55 · update #2
I was a RN, and have depression.
Note I said "I was..."
My first sick note for 2 weeks, became one for 4 weeks, then 2 months. It went on and on. I'd be off work for 6-8 months, then try to go back. I'd be back for 4-6 months then be off again.
My depression cost me my job, my social life, friends, my self-confidence, my home.
Do take time off.
Don't push to go back until you're 100% ready - going back because of financial problems caused difficulties at work, and the eventual termination of my contract.
All I can say really, is don't just take pills, ask for as much support as you can get. Try and get some CBT and if that's not possible, ask for an early psych referral, or referral to a CPN. You need to get the disease sorted out as soon as possible.
Time off work, will give you the opportunity to get some help. It may also save your job, because as the disease worsens, your colleagues will notice and start complaining to your manager(s). If your depression is severe, it will take much longer than 2 weeks to resolve,so don't expect to be back at work quickly.
If you had a broken leg and couldn't work, would your hubby be disappointed in you then? I imagine not, yet depression can be way more disabling than many physical diseases.
Look after yourself.
2006-09-21 23:56:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really you can't be serious. Does your husband suffer from these illnesses himself??? Obviously not. Depression and anxiety can be devastating and in your line of work could lead to a complete break down, then those few weeks off would have seemed pretty minor. I can't believe that as your husband, knowing the illness you have, would actually GUILT you into continuing to work under this pressure when a DOCTOR has recommended a leave. I think you really need to think about yourself, and your own well being at the moment, if you don't the leave could be a lot longer. Also ask yourself what you would do if your hubby came to you and needed a break......I wish for you all the best, please take care of yourself.
2006-09-21 23:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay your question was not clear but to my understanding of what i read. All of your friends will hardly if every all get along or like each other, that's just the way it is. I say hang out with each friend separately, this may keep the confusion down, but don't let any friend tell you who you can be friends with never every let that happen. Do Not talk to the other friends about the opposite friends that's a no no too. So try keeping things separate for a while. It will all work out in the end how it is suppose to be. Always be true to self 1st.!
2016-03-27 02:01:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than simply taking time off, you may think about doing something totally different. I also work very long hours and hold two jobs, but what makes me shake loose those depressive moods is doing something I haven't done. These days I'm learning Spanish. When I only take time off, I loaf and loll around the house and depress everybody else, so this works better for me. Hope you feel better soon :)
2006-09-21 23:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Jhan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I suggest something ? I know you wont do it but all the same because of you're professional background. Go to a Health and Herbs Store who sell Homeopathic Remedies and Get BRYONIA ALBA 200 and just take it once daily half hour before going to bed or when you are feeling especially tense and stressed out and let me know as a professional how much it helps you out after two day ! :-) Trust me on that one !
No side or bad effects, and no complications. Guaranteed !
I wish you well !
Take Care, and God Bless you !
2006-09-21 23:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares bout saving up 4 a house esp if the one youre to shar it with has little concern for yr well being? Take a vacation BY YOURSELF a womans spa weekend something like that If he's MAN he knows he's ultimately resp to support you. How does this test of his "in sickness and n health" turn out for you? Time to reassess your life,choices and future.You may want to consider change of career or getting out of hosp nursing-Ive dont it 4 27 yrs and its a mental health killer. You may need that money rather than 4 a house-which will tie you down to more obligations- 4 furthering yr education -get a masters -become an ARNP and get out of the hosp before its too late.
2006-09-21 23:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by FoudaFaFa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take all the time that you need to recover. I took 4 weeks off and it did me a world of good, it just puts things back into perspective. When it comes to money, rather don't have money for a few weeks, than loosing the best friend that you ever had. (I mean, keep working might kill you)
2006-09-22 00:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by weeroppadc2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time off. You sholdn't let your husband guit you like that. If possible have your Doctor talk to him about it and explain how important it is that you do this. Just take a week at first and if you feel you need more time take the second week.
2006-09-21 23:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Christina W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you no what you need to do . If you are that bad do it.. If you just want a break , just remember it is never fun to go back to work after being off. And many times you get sicker from the break than if you were to ,keep busy & stay,,,,.. I say work !!!!! Do the best you can with what you got!!! Just take care & be careful !!! You will be gald you stayed.
2006-09-21 23:15:23 · answer #9 · answered by TT Bomb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
take the leave, you can get a house a little later, what its gonna make you get a house 2 weeks later than planned? take off.
2006-09-21 23:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by imalickyouallover69 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋