my fiances parents say they are too young to be grandparents. (aged 63 and 62). just before we brought our own house they told him if i was pregnant his bags would be packed and he would fend for hiself. we are 20 and 22 we just recently started trying when i do fall pregnant how do we tell them. they have nothing against me they always saying i like a real daughter and we been together 5yrs.
2006-09-21 22:32:45 · 32 answers · asked by mum in training 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
they will be thrilled so don,t worry.i was gutted my daughter was 18 and her partner was 30 , and only 5 years younger than me!!,i was not happy because he was married although apparentley in a dead marriage he was still married.they have gone on to have three children and all is happy ,i love my grandchildren 100% no matter what.
2006-09-25 09:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them. If they disown their son they will lose out on a whole lot of love and good times with their grandchild(ren).
Have you thought that they could just be against children outside wedlock? Talk to them bring it up in conversation (oh, so and so is pregnant) and try to find the real reason.
I think the age thing is a smoke screen for something else. Would they like grandchildren while they are young enough to enjoy them!!! Find out how many of their friends are grandparents. Have these friends had a rough time with grandchildren i.e. having them left with them for long periods of time or at short notice while the parents go out and they think it will happen to them.
My parents were 54 and 52 when they became grandparents and they love it!!!
Best of luck.
2006-09-21 22:49:31 · answer #2 · answered by Valiant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like it or not, these people will be your child's grandparents. I believe you have a right to get pregnant when it's right for you and your fiance (although from experience I think it's better to wait until you are already married.) Saying they are too young to be grandparents is not a reasonable thing on their part. You should sit them down and explain as politely as possible that you are old enough to make your own decisions on this point, and that you would rather have a baby with their blessing because you respect them and you want them to be involved in their grandchild's life, but if they insist that they will cut your fiance out of their lives, make it clear that blackmail will not be tolerated. You need to put your foot down now or you will be under their thumb forever. At the end of the day, if they want to see you both, and the baby, they will learn to deal with it. If they don't, it's them who will miss out. Your fiance will need to support you and back you up on this, or it all falls apart.
Hope things work out..
2006-09-21 23:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why should they have the right to control your lives? 5 years together is not a flash in the pan relationship. They should be happy for you both and 62 & 63 is not to young to be grandparents.
When you do become pregnant. Tell them straight and tell them they are are more than welcome to visit when ever they want.
Sounds to me like they have an issue with their son living his own life and thats why they put in this threat of him having to defend for himself. At 20 & 22 and being in a solid relationship. You could survive without them. They will come around in the end when they see their own flesh and blood to carry on the family name.
2006-09-21 22:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tabbyfur aka patchy puss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were only in their late 40's when I had my first child. They are now grandparents 5 times over and my mum is not even 60 yet. I think they may be trying to say that they think yo are too young but don't know how. You Are an adult it is up to you and your fiancee if you want children not his parents.
2006-09-22 00:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by michelle b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old do they intend to live til? Seriously they aren't that young. They will either change completely when you actualy have a baby and turn into doting grandparents, or they'll maintain they're self centered life. Either way nothing you say or do will change their attitude. I would just tell them when it happens. They may just be worried that you will expect them to babysit or look after the children.
2006-09-21 22:40:30 · answer #6 · answered by sarkyastic31 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living in your own place, you are both old enough to make your own decision and it is your choice, not theirs, when you decide to have a baby. My parents were in their early forties when I had my daughter and they love the fact that they can actually do things with her, that they still have the energy to do these things. I am sure when you tell them that you are pregnant they will be thrilled, and if they aren't they certainly will be when their grandchild comes along. Lets be clear on this though, it is your child, your baby, your body and your decision. Leave them to it if they are going to be silly and petty about it and enjoy your baby, your man and having your own little family unit!
2006-09-22 01:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Ria K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it happens just tell them straight up.
It's a matter of you and the hubby wanting a family, not whether they're wanting to be grandparents or not. That's really selfish of them actually.
I'm sure once they see the baby they'll change their minds, though. The 'thought' of being a grandparent is a lot worse than it actually happening.
2006-09-21 22:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by Lucianna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your in-laws to be are concerned that you might want to use them for childcare purposes which they obviously don't want to do!
Why else would they say that they are too young to become grandparents. If they were thinking about YOU, they would be saying that perhaps YOU are too young to be parents.
Clearly they are only thinking of themselves.
It sounds like you could be financially dependent upon them, so unless you're happy to fore-go their help, you need to talk to them.
Find out what their concerns are - you seem to have an OK relationship with them, so talk to them BEFORE you are pregnant and try to alleviate their fears (whatever they maybe)
If it is that they are worried about you dumping the kids on them I would suggest that you reassure them that when you are ready to start your family you won't impose your children upon them. When the children arrive, don't make it too easy for the in-laws to see them. If they are human, before too long, they will be gagging to have the children to stay!!
Good luck.
2006-09-22 00:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by SL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, they will be thrilled...
One thing tho, you say they will pack his bags and he will fend for himself.. But you also say you both bought a house, Why is it an issue..??
Please remember that they love you both, no way will that ever change!! (Also it helps if you give the Kiddie a grandparents middle name.. appealing to their vanity ALWAYS works!!)
Anyway, congratulations on the baby to be when it arrives..
2006-09-21 22:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by John W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋