I think my boyfriend is jealous of my pregnancy...?

Question

....Or something....

I have had really bad nausea, insomnia and back ache for the last month or so because of my pregnancy, but my boyfriend seems to be jealous of my symptoms...

If I say "I'm really tired, I hardly slept last night", he'll say "Me neither, I feel terrible"

Or "My back ache is playing up today, so I'm going to sit down for a bit" - he'll say "My back is so bad I don't think I should sit down, I might not be able to get up"

And so on, that sort of thing...

I don't understand it, it's like he's trying to beat me at not feeling good! All I want is just a hug, but I seem to be getting this odd reaction all the time - sometimes I just want to scream at him "I'm the one who's pregnant not you!!!"

He also knows how tired I am but he keeps commenting if I haven't done the dusting, or bleached the loo etc...

Is he angry with me for being pregnant?? We both wanted this, and we'd been trying for months!!

Help!!??

p.s: I don't think he is getting sympathy symptoms. I don't mean to sound horrible to him, but he does moan a bit anyway...

He says his back hurts from work, and he can't sleep 'cos he's got a cold etc... I just want him to understand that I'm feeling really yucky right now, and at this moment I'd rather have a cold than morning sickness!!!

Answer 1

explain this to him i think he is being unfair. your the one who is pregnant and at the moment your hormones are all over the place and sometimes all you need is a nice hug from him. just remember tho he is a man and a tiny cough to him is the flu lol. just explain your not saying about this because you want a competition he should be supporting you through this and when you dont feel great he should be caring for you and as for saying about you not cleaning tell him to do it him self and personally i dont think it is right for a pregnant woman to have to clean the loo. just explain that when you say your back hurts or something you just need him to show you a bit of love instead of comeing out with that his back hurts. if it will help just show him what people have said on here.
congrats on being pregnant hope everything goes good with your baby when s/he arrives.

Answer 2

he sure sounds like it

i have four children and really enjoy them. but at the time of the first pregnancy i can tell you that:
- i was wondering whether i'd be a good father, because i felt so out of it
- i was wondering what our life as a couple was going to be like with a baby i.e. less freedom and much less sleep. and i was also wondering about sex life after the baby

on top of that, it is a fact that pregnant women turn inward towards the baby, not only normal but good. But of course for the guy outside who used to receive attention from time to time, this can sometimes feel a bit too bad -> jealousy.

of course it is easiest if the man, despite all the above, reads a book about pregnancy, and realises his wife is also wondering about many things, and tries to support her.

and it helps if the couple sit down together and chat about how they feel - but a real macho guy will never accept such a thing, will he?

as for the small domestic details, depending on your financial situation, it can be a (very) good idea to hire some external help from time to time, if only for the cleaning of the place.

good luck

Answer 3

He could have a little bit of both. Some of them might be sympothy pains but it sounds like it is a bit of jealous too. He probably feels like you are focusing all on this pregnancy and how it makes you feel and not him.

Maybe next time he talks about how you didn't dust you should say "well how can I get anything done with too pregnant people in the house".

Answer 4

Envy is an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.”[1] At the core of envy seems to be an upward social comparison, that threatens a person's self-esteem: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar as the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been him or her who had the desired object.



Psychology of jealousy
While mainstream psychology considers sexual arousal through jealousy a paraphilia (categorized as zelophilia), some authors on sexuality (Serge Kreutz, Instrumental Jealousy) have argued that jealousy in manageable dimensions can have a definite positive effect on sexual function and sexual satisfaction. Studies have also shown that jealousy sometimes heightens passion towards partners and increases the intensity of passionate sex. [9] [10]


Sociology of jealousy
Main article: Jealousy sociology
Anthropologists such as Margaret Mead have claimed that jealousy varies across cultures. Cultural learning can influence the situations that trigger jealousy and the manner in which jealousy is expressed. Attitudes toward jealousy can also change within a culture over time. For example, attitudes toward jealousy changed substantially during the 1960s and 1970s in the United States. People in the United States adopted much more negative views about jealousy.

Jealousy in art
Main article: Jealousy in art
Jealousy is the powerful complex of emotions experienced at the loss, real or imagined, of something or someone you believe is yours, whereas envy concerns what you don’t have and would like to possess. Othello is filled with jealousy at the thought of losing Desdemona: Iago is consumed with envy of Othello’s prestige. Because jealous lovers tell multiple stories about those who arouse their jealousy, and because the emotion is so corrosive, jealousy is a common theme in literature and art, not to mention opera and cinema.

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Jealousy in religion
Main article: Jealousy in religion
Jealousy in religion examines how the scriptures and teachings of various religions deal with the topic of jealousy. Religions may be compared and contrasted on how they deal with two issues: concepts of divine jealousy, and rules about the provocation and expression of human jealousy.

Answer 5

It doesn't sound like jealousy, It could very well be that he is experiencing what is know as "Sympathetic Pregnancy Symptomology." Essentially this a case where the man will truly experience the symptoms of his wife/gf fregnancy along with her. It is similar to sympathetic Labor pains. As for is seeming insensitivity, that just comes from most men not really understanding. He probaly doesn't even know that he's experiencing your symptoms. Talk to you doctor about it and maybe they can help.

Answer 6

It's time for a nice discussion with him.
He needs to support you not dog you this way. Maybe he feels that the baby will come between you or that you aren't giving him the attention he wants. Course he could just be whiny. Talk it over and take it from there but do it or he'll drive you nuts.

Answer 7

Not only could he be jealous but alot of men experience pregancy first hand . They will get all the same symptoms of his partner. It could be that effecting him. However if he is jealous try spending more quality time with him. He is probably jealous becuase the attention is now on the baby coming.

Answer 8

He could be having sympathy pains for you. Yeah as silly as that sounds it happens. My ex used to throw up every morning because I was. When I went into labor he did too.

Its hard to understand what is going on with your body for your boyfriend and he probably doesn't know that he is upsetting you. So sit down with him and ask him what is going on. Tell him what you told us and see what he says.

Answer 9

Mother him, yes they get jealous and then when you are tired, ask for his support, Make him feel that without him you couldnot make it... exaggerate a bit if necessary but also mother and spoil him... men can be like kids..

Answer 10

yea guys are idiots. just wait 'til you have the baby, he'll probably ***** more that you dont do enough house work. atleast thats how my guy is. yea i know its tiring, being prego, than having the kid and having to do all the caring for it. especially if you breastfeed...