We're through, but....?

Question

My ex and I...we're through. Completely. We're not getting back together and we both know it. All we do is fight, and thats just not healthy...so why is it that everywhere I look I'm reminded of him? I can't get him out of my head. How do you stop associating EVERYTHING with someone, when that someone stops being your someone??

Answer 1

You have to convince yourself that its really over. That even if everything in this world reminds you of him, they will never lead you back to him.

Answer 2

The reason you cant get him out of your head is because everywhere you look reminds you of something you did together. It will take time to make new memories with friends and family until the memories you shared with him doesn't matter to you anymore. Just don't try to get another guy because you are only going to compare him with you ex. I once read in a mag that when you are in a relationship with someone for a while you tend to become more like that person, and that when you break up that you should give yourself time to become "yourself" again before getting into another relationship. Hope this helps, good luck.

Answer 3

This period in time is a "healing" phase for you. Yes, it takes a lot of time to get over someone you had once loved and given so much of yourself too. It's best not to "rush" into another relationship in order to stop thinking about your ex. There are different stages of healing you go through before you can completely let go and move on . . . but given enough time this will happen. For now, do things that make you happy. Pursue the things that give you pleasure like crafts, decorating, exercising etc, or even try meditation. It does wonders to give you a peace of mind. I wish you the best of luck . . . feel that "void" by helping others, and getting on with the things that brighten your heart and make your soul want to soar again!

Answer 4

Its because there are many memories that you shared together. You did the right thing though. Now you are in the process of healing.
It takes a little time. Reset your goals and concentrate on your future.
Find a good book or a new hobby to get you started. Try and do at least one thing positive for yourself each day and focus on that. When his thoughts begin to drift into your mind, redirect your thoughts to something more pleasant.

Take it one day at a time. Let your new goals be your guide. Eventually you will have recaptured your dignity and regained your self respect. The world will be at your feet again and it will be up to you to make things happen.

Answer 5

It will stop, and sooner than you think. In the meantime, yes, it sucks, but there are things you can do. One - not communicate with him, which it sounds like you are already doing. Good for you! Two - hang with your friends, and do all the things you couldn't do easily with your ex. Did he hate it when you painted your nails in front of him? Thought an outfit you love was not appropriate? Hated your friends? Got you into eating stuff you don't really like? ---- do what YOU like to do again. And get into some new stuff too - take a ceramics class, learn how to knit, do that dramatic haircut you've been thinking about - whatever. Just keep going foward, and soon you'll realize it feels good to go forward, with or without him. good luck!

Answer 6

Being reminded of someone is just natural because no matter how painful things have been between the two of you.. still he has been part of your life and you built memories together. You want to forget everything because the separation unconciously made you bitter and trying to snag him out your mind is the only defense you'd wanna do but you simply cannot do that for memories will linger not unless you got amnesia.. :-)
Their is no cure for that attack of sentiments except time..and what would help you for the time being? prevent going to places you've been with together, the foods you both crave, the mushy lines, movies and songs and soon you'll just realize, you'll get over it!

Answer 7

It's called grief, and it's a process we all have to go through.

We tend to think of grief as something that we experience when someone dies, but it happens every time we lose something. The greater the loss, the longer it takes for us to go through it. For something small, it might be over in a few days. For the death of a spouse, it might take two years.

Be good to yourself and recognise that you can't force yourself to forget about him. Focus on getting on with your everyday life. Don't sit at home and mope - go out and keep busy, even if you don't feel like it. It will help to keep active.

Answer 8

The advice I always give my friends is just that it takes time. It hurts so bad in the beginning and everything will remind you of them because they were once your everything. It helps if take the time that you previous spent with him to now do something for yourself. Get more involved in a hobby or find a new one. But it will get better over time.

Answer 9

it takes time. nobody said it could be forgotten overnight. sometimes, you need to focus on new things, get involved on other things that would keep you busy, fill your mind with new interests... and literally, manually, at all cost- say stop! when he glides through your head. hey, it's natural. if you'veb een together for long, it's been by nature you relate him to stuffs that reminds you of him. but now that you know what could cause you to reminisce when you shouldn't be, then it's time to head out the door or do something about it . . . goodluck!!

Answer 10

it just takes time, and a little discipline on your part will help you to heal quicker. don't give in to the temptation to think about him. don't do things, go places, etc. where you are likely to see him or be reminded of him. sometimes you cannot avoid seeing him, but do what you can. i mean, you can't help but keep thinking about him. but don't encourage it, and gradually, he will fade into the back of your mind. it is normal to keep thinking of him, even though you know it is for the best that you broke up. my ex boyfriend was a different religion than me, and he was engaged to another woman while we were going out, and what he wanted from our relationship was TOTALLY different than what i wanted. we had nothing in common, and he made me unhappy. but he was all i had, and i'd invested myself emotionally in him. so when we broke up, i still thought about him and cried a lot. only time can heal this; it isn't rational.

Answer 11

the trouble is you still have feeling for him , the only time you should break up is when you look at each other r and say threes nothing left not even anger , Often arguing is a form of attempted communication , If you had of seen a councilor and learnt to both communicate you would still be together and unfortunately deep inside of you .you know it .