Will I be single for ever because of my anxiety?

Question

I suffer from severe anxiety...I take meds for it and it helps so much, but I am still so scared to go out and meet people. I get along with people at work, but second I get off work I come home and sit....I have been invited out and I always want to go but can never get myself to go. How do I get over this? Please do stupid answers...and don't just tell me to go out and it will be fine...I have tried that before and it doesn't help.

Answer 1

Do you have a close friend that you can tell all of this to? I suggest that you start slowly... rather than going out to the bar why don't you go over to a friends house and watch a movie with 2 or 3 people... or have 2 or 3 people over to your house where you're comfortable. after doing movies, game nights and dinner parties at a comfortable location with just a few people you might then be able to move it outside... say after a dinner party go out for ice cream and call a few more people to meet you... or after a game night head over to the local bar for a beer or two. branch out slowly so that you are more comfortable. i'd see a counselor along with your medications if you continue to have these problems. Don't worry you'll get a boyfriend someday, but only if you're willing to work through your problems.

Answer 2

It sounds like you haven't narrowed in on what it is exactly that's causing the anxiety in these situations. Without having done that, it's really difficult to know what the next step should be.

I take it that you're OK around people you're familiar with. What if you went out and just stuck with those people? How would that experience be different from going out to dinner? Or is that also a problem? The question is, where do you draw the line between what's comfortable and what's not? Which elements are giving you trouble? What happens when you go out or what do you think would happen?

These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. These are the types of questions a therapist would ask. You should know that many psychiatrists don't / won't / can't take the place of a therapist. So if you haven't seen one, that may be your best option - especially if you aren't very good at exploring these things yourself. My sense is that you could get a lot closer to the real problem without that help. That may or may not be enough for you to come up with a plan of action. But it's worth asking the question here again once you've done that. You're likely to get better answers. Maybe someone else out there has had similar issues or has specialized knowledge on the problem.

In any case, it would be hard for me or anyone else to give you an intelligent, informed answer without more specifics. Hopefully that's an answer in itself.

Answer 3

I too, suffer the same situtaion. I also have bipolar depression/adhd, and some unknown so far issues to go with it. :( Recently divorced not by my choice, and you know what .....sadly, I accept that I will be single forever, cant be dissappointed that way, great if it happens, but, luckily, I have 3 children who fill most needs I will have anyhow.

The only way I get out anymore is for the kids. Since they are worth more to me than myself.

So, I guess trying to find something important enough, that can hold some more precedence than the anxiety holds on you is what you need, what that is.....not sure, but if it bothers you enough, try to find something you like that can distract the anxiety enough to overcome it for as long as it can. The point would be hopefully meeting someone who has the same interest, long shot....but...the distracion from anxiety my kids provide, at least some of the time works for me. So in theory....anything that holds higher value could work for you too.

Answer 4

This is a very common anxiety. I thought I was the only one who suffered from it. It's related to performance anxiety. When you go out, it seems that everyone is looking at you, sizing you up, and you have to run to the bathroom quick or you may woof your cookies then and there. I didn't even know that this was a phobia. I just suffered. I forced myself to go out. (Movie theatre line-ups were the worst, and restaurants were a close second). Going on a date? I nearly fainted from lack of oxygen because my breathing rate was crazy. This from a person who can go on stage an pound out a few melodies on the key-board. I've been on stage and know what stage fright is. It's not as bad as that line-up. Trust me. Just take precautions (like don't eat a heavy meal before going out). Once you're there, you'll be fine. (I would sometimes fall asleep in theatres I was so ragged out by the stress of being in the line-up.) I'm over it now. I just had to get used to doing those kinds of things, and not give a crap about what other people thought of me. We're all here on this planet together, and you and I have just as much value as everyone else who is here.

Answer 5

I suffer from severe anxiety also. I don't take meds anymore so now I do meditation and yoga. It may sound silly but it works. When I go out sometimes even at a grocery store or driving I just start focusing on deep breathing and trying to calm my mind and body freeing myself from stress.

Answer 6

Your meds are not working, you have to try different ones.

Anxiety is a complex combination of emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, nausea, chest pain and/or shortness of breath.

Anxiety is often described as having cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. The cognitive component entails expectation of a diffuse and uncertain danger. Somatically the body prepares the organism to deal with threat (known as an emergency reaction); blood pressure and heart rate are increased, sweating is increased, bloodflow to the major muscle groups is increased, and immune and digestive system functions are inhibited. Externally, somatic signs of anxiety may include pale skin, sweating, trembling, and pupillary dilation. Emotionally, anxiety causes a sense of dread or panic and physically causes nausea, and chills. Behaviorally, both voluntary and involuntary behaviors may arise directed at escaping or avoiding the source of anxiety. These behaviors are frequent and often maladaptive, being most extreme in anxiety disorders. However, anxiety is not always pathological or maladaptive: it is a common emotion along with fear, anger, sadness, and happiness, and it has a very important function in relation to survival.

Neural circuitry involving the amygdala and hippocampus is thought to underlie anxiety. When confronted with unpleasant and potentially harmful stimuli such as foul odors or tastes, PET-scans show increased bloodflow in the amygdala. In these studies, the participants also reported moderate anxiety. This might indicate that anxiety is a protective mechanism designed to prevent the organism from engaging in potentially harmful behaviors such as feeding on rotten food.

A chronically recurring case of anxiety that has a serious effect on a person's life may be clinically diagnosed as an anxiety disorder. The most common are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Mainstream treatment for anxiety consists of the prescription of anxiolytic agents and/or referral to a cognitive-behavioral therapist. There are indications that a combination of the two can be more effective than either one alone.

The acute symptoms of anxiety are most often controlled with anxiolytic agents such as benzodiazepines. Diazepam (valium) was one of the first such drugs. Today there are a wide range of anti-anxiety agents that are based on benzodiazepines, although only two have been approved for panic attacks, Klonopin and Xanax. All benzodiazepines are physically addictive, and extended use should be carefully monitored by a physician, preferably a psychiatrist. It is very important that once placed on a regimen of regular benzodiazepine use, the user should not abruptly discontinue the medication.

Some of the SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) have been used with varying degrees of success to treat patients with chronic anxiety, the best results seen with those who exhibit symptoms of clinical depression and non-specific anxiety or general anxiety disorder concurrently. Beta blockers are also sometimes used to treat the somatic symptoms associated with anxiety, especially the shakiness of "stage fright."

I can give you a treatment plan, but it is better to consult a Clinical Psychiatrist.

Alprazolam 0.25mg SR in the morning and Sertraline 50mg in the evening. Stop Alprazolam after 6 weeks. You can increase the dose of Sertraline upto 200mg if necessary, do it gradually.

Answer 7

no. don't think like that.

i have anxiety and actually i think the same, too. ha ha he he. :) i mean, i have the same question as you. seriously, don't let anxiety drive your life.

add excercise and it will help you relax more. then when you are ready, you will go out more.

also, pray to meet the right one for you. God will help you out and lead you to the right man at the right time.

Answer 8

No you wont there are boy's with anxiousness.It take's time to seek the right person.You wont be by yourself for the rest of your life.Someone is on this earth made and formed for each and every one of us.So count yourself lucky!

Answer 9

it will take time i have a promblem like that how old r u i m me if you want to talk more i am 29 m i have tried meds i would like to chat with you

Answer 10

Are you seeing a counsellor? I really suggest you talk to a counsellor and discuss with her, about methods to cope with your difficulties.

I think seeing a counsellor is good, because is one on one.

I am seeing a counsellor now.