teen siblings came to live with us. Whole family is Muslim. Step son prays 5 times a day, reads the Koran at least as much. 90% of his music is religious chants. If the family sees a film where a man and woman kiss even fully clothed (and PG) he expresses annoyance and fast forwards or turns the channel. Last month the family went out for 3 hrs. When we returned I learned that he had ordered $50 worth of xxx porn using our digital cable. We get the bill and find out that again when house was empty he got $30 in porn. We DISCONNECT the cable. His father asks him, he says it was an “accident” and he didn’t even know what he was pushing (English is not his 1st language) on both occasions. I do not ascribe to any religion. I VERY delicately ask hubby if sonny's actions seem a bit contradictory. He says, “No. He is uncomfortable looking at ppl kissing in front of others. He is comfortable viewing it by himself”. I thought “Did you even address my question?! ” Input about any of this pls?
2006-09-21 17:20:15 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Clarification: Of course I don't think for one milisecond that 5 porn movies were ordered on two different occassions by "accident" LOL. That's not what I needed input on. I just wondered what people thought I should do/say to him/my husband if anything. And no his father did not make him pay the $80 porn bill he ran up. Unbelievable.
2006-09-21 17:48:46 · update #1
His masturbation is not my business and something that I think most human beings do so I don’t care about that. I'm concerned with his blatant hypocrisy. Wouldn't you be?
2006-09-21 17:53:51 · update #2
He knows what he is doing and maybe you could confront him yourself, say hey buddy your dad might buy your lies which I believe are a sin in your religion and so is pornography so cut the crap and admit you are not a religious man or become a real one.
2006-09-21 17:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think this is a religious situation. This is a 20 year old kid who is obviously curious about something. I can understand accidently ordering PPV once, it happens to the best of us. But.... $80 worth combined of porn??? That is NO accident. NOPE!!!
As far as the whole embarrasment of watching people kiss.... I think he probably acts this way because he thinks this is how his dad wants him to react. I don't know much about Muslim beliefs, so I do not know how they teach or feel about public displays of affection.
I have a 13 year old step son. And you better believe I would be having a talk with him regardless of how dad deals with it. I would tell him that if he wants to watch these kind of things at age 20 then he needs to get his own place and his own cable!! AND he would also be paying me the $80 for his accidental order!! It is your home, not his. Take charge of what is and is not acceptable in your home!!
He can either like it or lump it!!!
To address the hypocritical part of it.... I do not know much of anything about the Muslim religion. So I cannot say if he is being hypocritical to his religion and beliefs.
2006-09-22 00:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by ktjokt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well kind of like priest that make vows to never marry wind up molestors or having sexual relations with a woman, many times in bad situation (hookers) Bt if he doesnt speak english too well the other may be true, he might have stumbled across it and then enjoyed it so thats why he did it a second time. But I do want to Add that I am Christian, I believe Jesus died on the cross for my sins and that thru him I can be forgiven, I am not perfect, only forgiven, I dont know about muslims but he might think he is forgiven? I would also be on the lookout, he might have some sort of unhealthy obsession!!
2006-09-22 00:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by carolg1974 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awww, that's funny. we all know that porn doesn't have to be in english to be able to enjoy, right? first mistake i would take it as an accident. but after that, well... i'd say he must've enjoyed the first time.
you're in tough situation, my dear. it's hard to be a step mom.. i'd say make him pay for it. and not to do it in your house anymore. he needs to respect you and your spouse and your house. remind him that he's lucky to have a place with a roof on top of his head. he can do as much as beating as he wants once he has his own place, but not in your home. be tough. you and your husband will just have to argue about this, there is no other way. but at least you made your point with him. once he realize you mean business when it comes to respect, then maybe a little something will click into his hallow head. teens will be teens, but he's 20 now, he should know responsibility by now. maybe that's why he prays so much, asking forgiveness over and over again for his lust.
2006-09-22 00:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. JSV 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hypocritical. And the pushing of buttons by accident is ridiculous....you have to go through several steps to get the porn, and $50 dollars worth would be more a lot more than one movie. How does his father act? Is he muslim as well? Because it kinda sounds like you might be in a bad situation.
2006-09-22 00:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jensenfan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
According to you and your husband your son feels that what he does in front of others is not the same thing that he would do in private. The action does not seem contradictory but the subject matter involved is kinda creepy. Fugedaboudit.....he's a kid right!
2006-09-22 00:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by eantaelor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it seems hypocritical, but if the father of the boy will not address it , you need to let it go. The boy is an adult, obviously knows what he is doing is wrong - or he wouldn't do it while you all were out.
I would stay out of it. The father needs to address it and no amount of urging from you will work. You will only alienate your husband as well as the young man.
2006-09-22 00:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by chris 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that he did do it, but probably faces severe punishment if he did do it. That is normal 20 year old male curiosity ( I am not condoneing it, I am just saying that it is natural) and too coincidental. I am sure that he would not have accidentally ordered "Finding Nemo" or anything litke that. The cable is disconnected now...I would let it go. (No matter HOW irritated you are. :-) )
2006-09-22 00:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by The Nag 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Cut the poor kid some slack. He's obviously dealing with insanity his parents have inflicted on him. If anything, I would talk to him privately about why sex is ok. Maybe you can help cure the poor kid of his mental disease known as religion.
2006-09-22 02:05:35 · answer #9 · answered by lenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It DOES sound like maybe he is a bit hypocritical. I don't know much about about Islam, but I do know that their law strictly prohibits women from being "flashy" in anyway. I hope, at the very least he is paying your cable bill. I wish I could help you with this one, though. It is very sad.
2006-09-22 00:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋