I saw a guy for abt. 4 months was a great relationship. He was just a little shy of us, if you know what I mean. He was 24 and I am 20, we really did have fun together. But I guess he got tired of me because one day he just showed up at the place that I work with another girl! Well we have been split for 2 months and I have met someone else, the only prob. with this one is he is 35 years old. Other than that he is perfect. He is sweet and honest and just the nicest guy in the world. He is a little to affectionate though. But why do I always think of Danny, the first guy, when I'm with Scott. And what makes things worst Danny has started to call me again. what should I do about this just ignore danny and stick with scott. or dump scott and try to get danny back. I'm totally confused. Plz HELP ME WITH THIS!
2006-09-21 17:14:37 · 62 answers · asked by nana_14 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dont ignore danny and try to get back at him, thats childish. talk to him about what happenned. get some answers. its obvious you still have feeling for him, and that not fair on scott. talk to danny and find out why he acted or did what he did. get some closure or figure out if you want him back in you life after what he says. then decide what to do with scott. communciation is the key. not games.
2006-09-21 17:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you dated Scott quickly after Danny, then you were probably a bit on the rebound. That's not to say that Scott isn't a nice guy, but you didn't allow yourself enough time to get over Danny. Also, seeing Danny with another girl pretty much was an abrupt end to the relationship. Most girls, myself included, need closure in order to move on from a relationship. Seeing him with another girl left a lot of questions answered, what went wrong in the relationship? Why did he turn to someone else? What is he thinking? etc. You moved on best you could with Scott, but those questions are still unanswered, so maybe that's what you want and is why you're thinking of Danny. Or you aren't quite over Danny yet. If you feel you aren't over Danny yet, I'd take a break from Scott and completely let Danny go. You need to get over this (and you deserve better than Danny) on your own without a romance in your life getting in the way. It's hard, but being single after a relationship really does help you gain love for yourself and independence from the relationship (which also helps self-confidence). If you and Scott really have something and he's a good guy, he'll wait until you're ready. If not, there are plenty of other men out there that would love to take you out, I'm sure. And not show up at your place of employment with another girl. It's hard, but you can do this! And I wouldn't go back to Danny either. Showing up to your workplace with another girl is disrespectful in so many ways, so I don't think he'll ever treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good luck and head up! Things always get better!
2006-09-21 17:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends what you are wanting out of a relationship at this point in your life. If you are thinking long term, I would say break up with Scott and find someone new. 15 years is a big age difference, it is cute now but when the newness wears off it could be a problem. Like when you 35 and still full of energy he will be 50! If you have a kid in your late 20's when your kid is in high school his dad will be pushing 60. When you were born Nintendo was BIG, when he was born calculaters were the size of vcr tapes. What I am saying is that there is a generational gap that will come into play and may be starting now. As the newness wears out your eyes will open up. I don't think you are thinking of the other guy because you want him back as much as because you are doubting the other relationship. I also think his over the top affection is his fear of losing you. He may be noticing the generation gap as well.
Do not go back to number 2. He showed up where you work with another girl. Spineless, couldn't even choke up the nerve to tell you he was done. If you take him back, he already knows he can get away with things with you.
Find Someone New. Your 20!
2006-09-21 17:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question...but the answer shouldn't be either Danny or Scott. There is another option, and a more likely option. Scott is just a little too old for you. You probably had more in common with Danny and that's why you think of him. If you're thinking of someone else - Danny - then you shouldn't be with Scott. It might be time to cut it off with him. But that doesn't mean to go back to Danny. Danny dumped you for another girl. There's a saying, "Once shame on them. Twice, shame on you." Danny wants you because he can't have you. He will do it again.
The answer is to choose neither guy and wait for that guy who is closer to your own age, where you share a lot in common and are in the same part of your life, a guy who will always be faithful to you and be honest, the guy who will put you as the center of his universe, and you will do the same for him.
Right now, neither guy fits the bill. It's just time to put yourself back on the market and search for Mr. Right. He's just waiting for you to be free long enough so he can ask you out.
Good luck!
2006-09-21 17:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by mamaloo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can be perfect on paper, but if you don't feel a spark then you've got a great friendship, not a great relationship.
If you are thinking of someone else when you are with Scott, this is a sign that you probably like how you FEEL when you are with Scott, but not Scott himself.
Do not call Danny back. Do not talk to Danny. Danny had you, and he showed up in front of you with a new girl. What makes you think he won't do it again? Men like to mark their territories... Be the one that got away.
Danny's not going to respect or appreciate you if you hand yourself over to him whenever he wants.
Leave Danny alone. Don't date Scott either. Don't date anyone at all, until you're over Danny.
2006-09-21 17:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kristen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well w/the 35 you will have to really evaluate what you want and where you see that relationship going. Meaning the age gap is significant but that doesn't mean it can't work. And you need to find out honestly why Danny stop calling you and started seein' someone else. It could turn out that neither are what you're looking for b/c Danny seems unwilling to commit and Scott seems too old and needy. So what do you want in a guy? Answer that and then go from there, b/c again neither might not be what you want.....
2006-09-21 17:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by cub6ib9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Danny should be told you are too busy to talk to him right now, probably ever.
Scott sounds pretty nice, but the age difference could be his only attraction to you.
Are these two your only choices? Why not give yourself some time on your own. If Scott is serious he will still be there in a few weeks, and if he isn't, hey there are other fish in the sea.
Danny is a mean, selfish, insecure, jerk. Make sure you stay a milion miles away from him. He didn't bother to break up, just showed up at your work to humiliate you? THe seems to know your emotional buttons if you are even considering answering his calls much less talking to hime. If he knows you will allow him to wander, he is going to, and then blame you!! Because you aloowed him to.
Get a pet or hobby for a while. Neither of these guys sound good for you.
Free advice is usually worth what you paid for it. But I still say you could do better for yourself. You don't sound keen on either of these guys.
2006-09-21 17:29:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have a problem. I think maybe you think you love Danny because you really had no closure on the relationship. Frankly, I wouldn't trust him. It was cruel the way he showed up with another girl and didn't seem to care about hurting you. Shows how selfish he is and would be again. re Scott. It's a shame we can't always fall for the guy who's best for us. Love is important though. If you don't have the right feelings for Scott you should tell him so. You deserve to have someone you love and he deserves to have someone who loves him. But, try to get over Danny. I worry about that.
2006-09-21 17:21:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get back with Danny he will only hurt you again. Anyone with such little regard for your feelings shouldn't even be blessed with being able to hear your voice over the phone EVER. Trust me, he will keep hurting your feelings and each time it will get worse. He sounds like he is only calling now because he is alone. What happened to the tramp he showed up with @ your job?? Secondly, Scott sounds nice but he may be putting it on thick to help you forget about Danny, which isn't working. You aren't happy with Scott because of a couple things, he is too old for you and he smothers you. Think about it. You may not really like Scott, he may have just been somebody that you needed to get Dave out of your system. It might be a good idea to cut them both loose. Honestly, it will do you a world of good and then you will find someone PERFECT FOR YOU. not perfect but perfect for you.
2006-09-21 17:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by Queen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
... wait, you're serious. Damn. In that case, I'll quote you:
"one day he just showed up at the place that I work with another girl!"
--Ok. That really shows the depths of his love. Most women would have castrated him on the spot, tho, so kudos on your anger management skills.
"he is 35 years old. Other than that he is perfect"
--You young women and this age thing. BTW, when you're his age, you will think nothing of dating guys your current age. Just a warning...
"He is sweet and honest and just the nicest guy in the world."
--Aww, how sweet, sounds like you're really into him...
"He is a little to affectionate though."
--... dammit, spoke too soon. But then, I'm overly affectionate too (always have been), so you'll get no sympathy from me :P
"why do I always think of Danny, the first guy, when I'm with Scott etc bla bla"
And there it is. See, the whole "danny left you" thing hasn't been resolved, just buried. You're still hooked on him, but you're with this great guy (your words, paraphrased). He's everything you wanted Dan to be.
Unfortunately (and this is important), he isn't, won't be, and you would be foolish to think that he can be as good as what you currently have.
... that, or it's just "bad boy syndrome"; you're still young enough to suffer from it.
So your choices are clear: Great guy who won't screw you over (but may hug you too much OMFG teh HORROR) or guy who's biding his time until another hottie shows up (and when she dumps him, it's back to "ol' faithful" -- YOU). Good luck.
2006-09-21 17:31:08 · answer #10 · answered by kagetatewaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, your story sounds like something I have been through. I would stick with Scott. Danny sounds like he is the type of guy that wants something that he can't have and will make himself more available because of that. Also Danny I am sure was a sort of addiction that you have had, something about him makes you go all crazy. Its like the song by Kelli Clarkson.
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
That song sometimes chills me....
Well just remember how he hurt you in the end and remember how well Scott treats you.You will know what is right/ All in all, your choice will either help you or break you. Good Luck!
2006-09-21 17:24:34 · answer #11 · answered by artqueen5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋