I do not want to live anymore, is this wrong?

Question

I do not proclaim myself to be any religion but have found my own beliefs to be similiar to a Christians. I would never commit suicide, I just feel it's wrong. However, I would not fight death at this point. I am young I guess (27) but the life I have been forced to live makes me feel much older. A child raised by an abusive single mother. Fending for myself before the age of 9. I married my highschool sweetheart, we have been together for 13 yrs now, married 9...no children. A few months the world I knew shattered. My wife was hospitalized for a week, we found out she has MS. I stayed with her while she was hospitalized and my employer found this as grounds for termination after 6 yrs with them. I have gained new employment but it just isn't the same. My wife is back to 100% but everything seems forever altered. I just feel along the way I lost me! I am not sure who I am anymore, and why I still breath. As always, I pray to God but feel forshakened! Who/Where am I now!

Answer 1

Seek out your answers you will find them. You are not wrong it is natural to feel lost and hurt when you are afraid for a loved one.

This is the natural reason for belonging to a church or group of Christians who can stand by you and support you with answers, prayers, whatever you need. It's not too late to find a group of people to worship with and learn with about each other and God.

I pray that you will find the solace of knowing God's love for you and your wife in a deeper way and the solace of knowing the care and concern of a community of believers.

Answer 2

If this story is true, it is the saddest story I have read in a long while. I feel your pain very deeply and sometimes even though we want to say something, we feel like we can't, because some of us never had any hurt like this. All I can say is, this is where hope and faith comes in and touch the heart of God. You might think that you have the worst problem in the world right now, but you don't. Someone else is going through worse. You nearly lost your wife, but you didn't. You lost your job, but regain another. Your are just going through the after tremor/shock right now. You will have to heal with time. I am glad that you said that you cannot commit suicide, but you feel like you can die. I have felt so with less than what you are going through right now, trust me, your story has given me hope. I just learned of a friend who fell from his job site. He slipped and fell 7 stories down, in the hospital, doesn't know if he will live or die. There are still worst stories out there. Thank God for life, it gets better, trust me it does. Lord help this person right now to accept the love and comfort that you are showing them, even if he cannot identify or feel you in his situation right now, You are there. Thank you Lord in Jesus name, Amen.

Answer 3

WOW you have been under a great deal of emotional stress! If I were you I would seek out an MS support group, you could speak to a minister. or go to someone in grief support ( you have lost your job..your heaithy wife.. and parts of your security)

Maybe parts of you are saying why me?
WHy not you to show how strong your relationship can be .. prove you are strengthed by GOD.. and bounce back.

I think you are very strained and tired
Maybe you now appreciate so much more that you do not recognize your new self.

GOOD LUCK...
And, Remember when you are feeling low ask GOD or the angels to help you...

Answer 4

My partner died of cancer 6 years ago (after a 3 year struggle). At the same time things in my work didn't seem to go so well, either.

It's a normal part of grief (over the loss of a way of life) to question whether you have the stamina to create something new. It may be helpful to get into a support group for people who are going through the same thing. Many cities and towns have groups for caregivers for chronically ill family members.

This is the time to engage whatever creativity you have. Write poetry, play or write music, create art, find a reason to rediscover the parts of you that are unique and not tied to your wife, your job or to illness. Find someone who understands: a pastor or a therapist. And for goodness sake, acknowledge that this is genuine suffering you are enduring, and you are worthy of having relief from it by getting help for it.

Answer 5

Oh dear one, my heart goes out to you for all your going through. I know at this time you must feel alone in your grief, But if you believe in Jesus you are never alone I know how you feel, here's my story. I tell you this to let you know there can be a light at the end of the tunnel.I was married for nearly 20 years, very involved in our church & my husband left me. I was forced to leave my job & move back home to my moms house with no car, no money, no job. I finally found a job that I thought I could grow with. I started getting severe headaches, I was diagnoised with a brain tumor and had to quit my job & have surgery. After that I was lost for years until I met my current husband who is a gift from God. In about 6 months after we were married we received a call saying my step son had been found under a bridge unconscious, they didnt know what was wrong. When we got to the hospital they said he had a heart problem, so he had to have surgery. A few months later my headaches started up again & I had another brain tumor.
We were living with his mom & dad because the house that had been promised to be had been taken away in a very crule manner. I had to have brain surgery again only this one was much worse. Three months after that, to our disbelife it was another one, all this time my husband was my rock. During my recovery my mom died suddenly which turned my world upside down, 6 months after that my husbands dad passed away. Now what I'm telling you is all true. What got me through is my faith in the
Lord. Most people go through very difficult times, but rejoice in the fact that your wife is still here, and maybe the Lord has a better job for you waiting. Sometimes it's easy for others to say "hang in ther buddy, things will get better" But know if you have faith in Jesus, HE will help you find the strenght you need for anything.
Sorry this was so long but I felt it important to tell you my story. I'm not anything special only to God, and I'm thankful for that.
Lord Bless you

Answer 6

To feel that you do not want to live, yes there is a problem and you have been under a lot of stress. You may need to go and seek help, God does not want you to die, not yet. We all at times have feelings of wanting to give up but we don't. I am the oldest to four, and my mother was not abusive but she left when I was 8. Yes is has affected my life, and yes I wanted to give up many times, but it was not God's will. I was a mother at 15, three kids at age 21. five operations before I was 32. broken marriages, did not heard that. drug addiction and all. but today I am living a new life, and I am free, and I found me--through my relationship with God, I had looked in every place to find me, people, places and things that could fill me. And even in the bad times, I held on, but as soon as it was all over with, I had resentments-why7 I do not know, other than I felt that I had not be taken care of, it is my responsibility to take care of me, and now I do. God Bless

Answer 7

First off, I admire you for staying with your wife for 9 years and especially through her tough times. You have a great thing going there. I realize that we all get older, things happen that we don't expect or like but they happen for a reason. I am 10 years older than you and have been through a little bit more than that.

Try to find the good in everything. You can do it. You just have to make it a habit. Maybe you just need time to relax and think. Go somewhere that you can do that.

good luck

Answer 8

I have to say this you are young and have a life ahead of you along with your children. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and move on. Maybe you need a small vacation or sometime away. Hell go see a stripper. But get over it. Ya your childhood sucked and you have a family but being alone is no bowl of cherries either. You still breathe because you are the solid part of the family that everyone can depend on. Look at it as an honor. As long as you are not abusing your children then you have already made a difference in someones life by not being that abusive parent.

Answer 9

You sound tired, you need to take vitamins and get a new hobby, molding clay ,painting, or model cars ..Learn yoga,it will strengthen you physically and mentally.Don't feel forsaken ,because you are not.Sorry about your childhood. Sometimes in life a person just has to keep on ,keeping on.I am glad to hear your wife is okay,that is a blessing.When you go through traumatic situations it has a way of draining energy, but you'll find your way, because God's word is a lamp for your feet.

Answer 10

MS will not be an easy road but abandoning you wife emotionally would be a cop out. Ask the hospital to refer you to a support group on MS that you both can go to. Why do you think we are born crying. We realize that the party is over an earth life can be hard.