If you had a daughter...abortion/adoption?

Question

If you had a daughter--let’s say she is sixteen--and you found out she was pregnant, would abortion or adoption be an option? Would you allow her to make the decision or would you decide for her? Would you keep or take custody of the child?

I'm not asking this because I am in this situation--I'm not the mother or the daughter. I was just curious because I know several mothers who take over the child and then blame the daughter for forcing a child on her.

Answer 1

I would provide her with information on all the possible options and promise to support her in any decision she made, including abortion, adoption, or providing child care and financial support if she decided to keep the child or decided that she wanted me to raise it as my own.

Then, I would seek out an impartial adult at a Women's Center, community center, crisis center, planned parenthood center, or teen shelter, and ask them to provide her with additional counseling and support, so she could have someone to talk to other than her mother, someone she could open up to without fear of reprecussions.

I would encourage her to own her decision...be willing to offer my opinion, but to say that in the end, it was her life and her choice, and I didn't want her to regret my involvement or feel pressured to take any particular action. I would give her unconditional love.

Answer 2

My daughter would know that I will support any decision that she makes, besides abortion. Abortion is not birth control and is really a sick way to clean up a mess that could have been avoided with proper birth control or abstaining from sex in the first place.

I would make it perfectly clear to my child that what happened makes her an adult. Adults have sex not children and she would be responsible for the child. Adoption is an option but only to family. The father has no say as far as I am concerned because he also didn't use protection to prevent it from happening in the first place and he is probably also 16 so what can he do?

My daughter would live with the embarrassment and also the raising of the child. I will help and encourage her to finish school but will not take the child and raise it for her.

Answer 3

I would support her in what ever she wanted to do. I am more pro abortion since the baby would have a chance of a great life. I actually adopted my son. It gives some couples a chance of a baby that sometimes they can't have themselves. I would not want to take custody of the child unless my daughter wanted me to. If she did not want the child and then I took custody she would feel really uncomfortable.

People make mistakes and get pregnant all the time. Doesn't matter your age. Its great that there are so many options these days. We did an open adoption which means the birthmother can keep in contact with us and know that the baby is doing good.

Are you pregnant? If so go to http://www.adoptionhelp.org/
They have a lot of great counselors for free.

Answer 4

I would never encourage or support my daughter killing the baby growing inside of her -- I wish people would just look at this issue exactly as it is.... how can it be OK to kill a baby when it is in what is supposed to be safest place for this unique and amazing little human life to finish growing into a baby that can breathe outside of the womb...

Anyway, depending on our situation, I might offer to help her raise the child but I would also encourage adoption if we could not provide a stable, healthy home for the baby.

The bottom line is that we are all here to protect the most innocent among us -- what fits this criteria more than babies in the womb who have no chance without us... an sadly no rights in this country!! -- and these decisions should always be made based on what is best for the baby.

A loving home with a stable mother AND father is best for a baby -- they need both parents and deserve that as the ideal situation. I think women who give up their babies for adoption are the most admirable, selfless and courageous people -- that must be the most difficult thing in the world, and yet they go through a pregnancy, delivery and separation in the hopes that the baby will have a healthy, stable, loving life...

Women who choose instead to abort are just thoughtless, selfish, lazy and probably misguided and misinformed on the terrible consequences to come as they mature and realize what they have done -- very sad, actually for them. For the baby, of course, it's beyond sad... they were killed by the very life that was supposed to nurture and defend them with her own life....

Hope this provides a new perspective and insight from someone that used to think abortion was an essential right, then matured and realized the value of life in all of its forms / stages, and who has seen friends go through the terrible dilemma you posed.

Answer 5

To many times women who have abortions have serious emotional issues afterwards. In my opinion she should have the baby but whether she decides to keep it or give it up for adoption should be up to her. If I could help her raise it and provide a good home for the baby and daughter I would if that is what she wanted, 16 is old enough to make this sort of decision herself. Some girls of this age can make a good mother if she gets enough family help and support. She should in no way however drop out of school to mother the child or she will not be able to support a child in the manor in which deserves.

Answer 6

I don't believe in abortion ( unless it was rape or something serious like that ) But I believe I would let my daughter make her own decision on an adoption . I got pregnant at 16 and had her at 17 . So I believe that would have a big influence on the decision . My mother was great with me at that age . She never past judgment on me . She just took it as it was and never had a bad thing to say . My mother has made me a strong person . So I think I would do things the way she did with me .

Answer 7

We would weigh the pros and cons of the situation...when I was 18 I had an abortion because 1)I had no family support 2) the father was a loser that left the country 3) I had no means to provide for a child 4) The grandparents on both sides (my parents and the boy's parents wanted nothing to do with me or it) 5)I couldn't see going through 9 nine months of being pregnant and bonding with it, just to turn around and give it to someone else to raise and love.

So if I had a daughter in that situation I would help her and be understanding with whatever SHE should decide.

Please prolifers DO NOT email me or contact me with your opinions, because I do not care about them nor do I want them.

Answer 8

I'd like to think that no teenage daughter of mine would be irresponsible enough to get pregnant. However, I understand that sh*t happens...

That being said, I wouldn't let her have an abortion. I would give her the option of having the baby and keeping it or placing it up for adoption. I would "hope" that she would choose adoption so that she could continue her education and get jumpstarted on a good career, but if she did choose to keep the baby, I would help her as much as I could, but not take custody of the baby unless she became unable to care for the baby. I would NEVER throw her out, disown her or force her into an abortion.

Answer 9

Tough decision, it'll be hard emotionally for her to go through school pregnant and then if you choose to give it up for adoption, it's not like it's going to be a secret to anyone in town. She's gonna have to be strong enough to understand that will follow her a long time. This is definately a group decision for your family because this is going to affect her the rest of her life.

Personally, I'm against abortion on principle unless the mothers life is threatened by carrying the child to term.

Best of Luck.

Answer 10

What about the father?
Adoption seems good at first sight, but in fact if she chose it, she will have to bear the look of her mates, friends and so on, and what about her studies? And it will be so difficult to have the child during nine months and let him go...
You must talk with her, is she mentally strong enough to have an abortion? If she is, that may be the best way for her to cope with that, and keeping her youth...
You must not take the decision at her place, you should decide both, together...

Answer 11

I would listen to how she is feeling after I got over that fact this happened to my baby. Being she is under 18 she will need lots of support to make any decision of an adult nature. Abortion would not be an option but adoption or keeping the baby would. My kids have been raised with a healthy respect for life and I know they would never consider that option anyway.
And I would not take custody but be there to guide when it was needed.
" Just one opinion in a sea of opinions."