He and I were together for 7.5 years. Broke up summer 2005 (we were growing apart). I thought we were going to get back together this past Spring. Then he suddenly got into intense relationship with this girl. I have been very depressed over it. He is coming back to town to visit his family and wants to have coffee. He knows that I am still in love with him. Is it stupid to see him?? Will I just end up hitting the reset button on the little work I have been able to do in trying to move on from him? Help!
Also, he has been very clear that we are not getting back together, so that is not a possibility. I love him so much. Everything was pointing in the direction that we were going to get back together. He even told me he didn't like this girl, that she wasn't his type. Well now they are together and I wouldn't be surprised if he is already saving for an engagement ring? So should I see him? He has to drop some stuff off at my house but I could not be here when he does that? Please Help
2006-09-21 16:46:12 · 19 answers · asked by M K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the only way it would be acceptable to go is if u didnt love him in that way anymore. dont go. its jus gonna hurt u in the long run. u have come so far to let urself fall back into it
2006-09-21 16:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by I am me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always have time for a cup of coffee with an old friend even if he is your ex.
It is what good people do. People who have been mad or bad or had should be forgiven after a couple of years and deserve the chance to say what needs being said ... even if it's goodbye.
Be strong! Be an adult. You can do this.
2006-09-21 16:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by wrathofkublakhan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is making excuses for a booty call! You know you are weak for him so you need not be there when he comes and don't meet him for coffee. He's going back to his new chick, but something about you is what he needs to fulfill now. He will be fulfilled, but you won't. While you are having conversations about him "not liking her because she is not his type", HE'S STILL WITH HER. If his dick is good enough to get, but then leaves you wanting more of him after he's gone ask yourself if it's worth it. It's a set up for a booty call, I'm telling you! Coffee my behind, he wants cream in it trust me!
2006-09-21 16:57:54 · answer #3 · answered by CAM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep a distance between you two. he is trying to move on and doesn't quite know what true love is. i believe in keeping things polite, but not at the expence of your emotions. you really need to learn to move on. you have a lot of letting go to do and healing. accepting that it's really over is the first step. don't make yourself available to be put in a position to continue to be stuck in a rutt. it takes two in a relationship, and this one only has one trying where there is no relationship any more. remember why you are no longer together. it boils down to one of you wanted out. why go back.
2006-09-21 16:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by native girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is tempting to spend time with him because you still have feelings.
however, he knows how you feel so it is inappropriate for him to want to have coffee. if he has no intention of getting back with you, he needs to maintain the boundaries.
if he has something very important to say to you, tell him that, due to your feelings, which he is already aware of, you would find it too painful to meet, and see if he can tell you on the phone or at least give you an idea on the phone in advance of his visit so you can decide if you want to give him time to talk in person. or make sure a friend or family member is present and make sure they stay unless you tell them it is ok to leave you alone with him.
2006-09-21 16:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by new yorkr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's been over 1 year and you still have not found someone new?
WTF wrong with you...
oh yeah.. you are young and immature and think he was tyhe end all of all guys..
show your lack of understanding
and you lack of self esteem
hence why you would even consider seeing him again
if not for a bit of coffee
his lame excuse to drop things off while you must be there is that
a lame excuse
he wants a booty call
nothing more
he knows he can play you as you are a s foolish as they come
2006-09-21 16:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the coffee and meeting up with him. He has made it clear to you that he has no intentions of rekindling the relationship. If he comes to your home to drop off your stuff, make sure you are not home.
2006-09-21 16:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooo honey ... i think every gurl has gone thru this same thing .. it sounds like ur still madly in luv wif him .. and if u see him .. ur juz gonna fall even harder and kick urself even harder for not being able to haf him .. and even if he duz decides to do sth wif u ..HE HAS A GF!! if he can cheat on her .. he can cheat on u . .and all that stuff abt him sayin he duznt realli like this gurl .. then y da hell is he savin up for an engagemet ring??! guyz like this u should juz steer clear from .. i knoe itz hard and a tiny part of u (or a big part) juz wants to see him for a couple of mins .. but u knoe .. it'll only b a tease .. and only if ONLY u think that u can b strong and not fall for him should u realli go for coffee wif him .. and u and i both know that itz impossible for u to not fall for him if u do see him .. da best way to get over sumone is to believe they are inexistent !!
2006-09-21 16:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Cexy C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he knows how you feel and asks you that then shame on him and his games! You need to move on , There is someone more deserving out there for you , I know it happened to me . So CHIN-UP be strong and let him drop his stuff off Then say good-bye!
2006-09-21 17:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by Spirit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have coffee and discuss what you are feeling if he is done with you or maybe he is sill in love with you you might get back with him or you could get some closer. then you can decide to move on with your life and start dating other people. just as long as you happy.
2006-09-21 16:53:31 · answer #10 · answered by flounder_bob@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋