Should I give him another chance?

Question

i have been with him for about 5 months now. he moved in next door to me and my dad (im 24). we basically live together, but we break up so much that i keep my stuff in my car :( He is usually good to me but he goes into these mood swings where he overpowers me into doing stuff through intimidation. he doesnt hit me but he tells me to get the **** out. then when i try to leave he cries and begs me to stay. ive given him other chances to clean up his act but this time he promises to win me back by going to get some counseling. should i give him another chance? if so, exactly when, and what do i say to him in the meantime?

PLease help!

ok wait, he doesnt intimidate me to do anything sexual or anything like that. just stuff like going to the bedroom or other things.

P.S. i didnt mean to post this to the language section. and thanx a lot guys.

Answer 1

Sounds like the making of a wife beater. It all starts that way, abusive verbal treatment that soon escalates to physical abuse. All abusers behave that way, they abuse you, cry for your forgiveness, but do it all over again. I highly doubt that you can change him. If he really wants to change, HE SHOULD DO IT WITHOUT YOU IN HIS LIFE. It's the only proof that his desire is genuine and not just a desperate act to keep you.

Get out while you can. It's not worth it.

Answer 2

It's really hard when you care about someone to let them go when they mistreat you. But you have to listen to your head not your heart, sometimes. I think there is a line in a Madonna song 'pain is a sign that something's wrong.' I think we all know when a relationship is good, and deep down, we know if it is bad. You can tell, simply, if he makes you unhappy. You don't sound too happy, and wishful thinking about his promises and excuses will not make him become a good guy and a different person. The good things about him are tied to the bad, and while the bad things will slowly come to dominate everything, the good things about him will appear less often and for shorter periods. This is the basic psychological profile of an abusive personality. The fact that he has moved next door is going to make it impossible for you to get out of this thing with him unless you move away. If you stay, he will continue being nice then nasty, then nice, etc etc. ad infinitum -- he wants this relationship as it suits him completely to keep you right where he wants you. Save yourself future unhappiness and cut him out now, if possible. If you can't bear to dump him (which you should really really really do), then fill your time as much as possible with other hobbies, people and pursuits, so that your focus on him eases off a bit. He might even get the message and try being less of a jerk.

Answer 3

This doesn't seem like a good situation. He could still be abusing you even though he's not hitting you.

If he is really going to get counseling, that sounds great. Why don't you move back in with your dad in the meantime while this fellow cleans up his act. If you've been apart for a while, and he's still not going to the counselor, you have your answer.

Answer 4

well lets see, if he didnt clean up his act now, what are the chances he ever will? i say tell him "im sorry but i think we should take some time off, i mean, i just have mixed feelings right now..." if he hurts you, RUN AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER, or better CALL THE COPS! if he begs just be like "im sorry, my mind is made up" and i f hes like "is it another guy?", say "NO I TOLD YOU I NEED SOME SPACE" and get out of there, then if he stalks you or something, get an apartment by yourself or you and your dad move to a new house. or depending on what he says or how he acts, youll know what to do, then post another question part two and be like "he did this now what?" and you will be ready. hope this helped you! bye! hope everyting works out for the best! :)

Answer 5

NO.no more chances. Get out of there while you can. maybe if he gets a psych evaluation and gets treated for whatever power trip he's on... maybe bipolar? and maybe you re-meet in 10 years and he has his act together.... no, never mind, just say no and get as far away from him as you can! What you are describing is the beginning stages of domestic violence. He is already starting the cycle. Break it now and leave!I suspect he needs more than counseling. This is a long term issue.

Answer 6

I agree Scoundrel. you provides you a minute or 2 for a poorly wound watch, yet 7 minutes in no longer perfect. And your good judgment is right on course. by making use of the 4th date that is going to ba an hour you would be waiting finding like the twerp. sturdy call my buddy. I actual have a tendency to be very stingy while it consists of 2nd opportunities. If it grew to become into important to her she would have been there 10 minutes early, no longer 7 minutes late. i does no longer provide this female yet another probability to pass away you status there. pass away her the place she is.... dumped.

Answer 7

Sounds like he may have a mood disorder. Bipolar, for instance, is a mood disorder. He may need a med & counselling. If this guy means much to you, tell him he MUST see a professional mental health practitioner or you may not be able to stay. He may not be able to 'get his act together' without medication and counselling.

Answer 8

i guess thats not a healthy relationship you've got with him. Though he didn't hit you or abused you sexually its still not good especially for you. Don't give him another chance, gal, or else you'll suffer much in the future. Try to go back with your father and forget about him.

Answer 9

I am going to answer this with personal experience that I do have. I had to decided between my first wife and my immediate family and because she was causing a lot of problems I called for a divorce.

In your case, I would get myself out of there and as soon as possible. whatever you do, find a good apartment that the rent is cheap and whatever you do, dont give out your new address to your boyfriend because it would your first and major mistake that you will ever make in your life.

Also, please make sure that your telephone number goes "unlisted".

Stay firm on this advice and good luck.

Answer 10

Nope. No more chances. There's this rule. If you've broken up more then three times, usually it means that the relationship won't work out, and you should move on. So say buy bye to the needy boyfriend, and get on with your life.