Each child leans differently and I have one who I think needs to be home schooled?

Question

I have a child who is struggling very hard in school. She has CAPD, Sensory, and Visual Perception Disorder. However, in the public school system, she does not qualify for LD or EC services. She is very smart; but has a hard time w/ completing assignments on time. She is being left out of fun activites in school and on several occasions, she is the only one in class. While the other children participate in other activites, she is left to try and catch up. She has started having emotional melt downs and it is really sad to watch her suffer. We have two other children and we are afraid that they will not understand us taking her out and teaching her at home. I think they will be jealous. How do you approach this issue? Do you know of any great programs for home school? We need lots of ideas. Help! Thank you.

I have thought about home schooling all three; however, one of my children is doing very well and loves school. My other child lacks on social skills and I feel that he would benefit by having that interaction w/ other kids. Also, the one I am considering homeschooling seems to get more attention after school, b/c of having so many issues. She is easily distracted and I feel if she is home schooled, then we will be done when the other siblings come home. Therefore, I will be able to give them more "mommy" time and possibly be less stressfull all around. It is just a big move and a little scary.

Answer 1

Hi Mandee...

Many parents home educate only one child in their family and if your other children WANT to be home, let them; if not, you have nothing to be worried about. All the negatives about socialization and education are merely myths put out by those in the anti-homeschooling camp.

Your child DESERVES to be happy, do not let anyone tell you that they have to 'deal' with what they deal with at school in order to prepare for life after 18, even if that advice comes from a teacher (like Doug Z a vehement anti-homeschooler) and especially when it concerns YOUR child. Keeping a child at home and building their self-esteem will only strengthen them before entering adult life. A good gardner cares for the seedling and prunes and shapes it and readys it for the outside world...they don't take the seedling and throw it outside and leave it to chance hoping that despite the weeds, it will grow.

This is an AWESOME site: http://www.naturalchild.com/articles/learning.html

Here is a beautiful blog written by a mother who is homeschooling children with special needs: http://peterpanandfamily.blogspot.com/2006/09/homeschooling-child-with-special-needs.html

GET THE KLEENEX!!

As for great programs that is totally up to you, after searching the options you may decide you don't want a program at all. If you want to homeschool, pull your child out now even if you haven't decided on 'how' to homeschool. Are you a Christian? Secular? Buddhist? Don't know? LOL There are all kinds of places to go to for guidance, just do a google search for the kind of homeschooling you're looking for and look for a group in that category. The Natural Child Project is an excellent start for homeschooling information and that is the way I would've went with home educating if my hubby would agree to it, but he wants us to have a 'schedule' so we do but it's very relaxed.

Search for homeschooling laws in your area from here: http://hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1

Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I can totally relate. My oldest son has Auto. Processing Disorder and was placed in an advanced class. He struggled everyday and was often sick to the point of throwing up before school because he was so worried about not being able to do the work. The school refused to put him in another class so I said that was it. I quit my job and took him and my other son out of that school and started homeschooling them. That was 5 years ago. I decided to take my younger son out of the public school too because I was just not happy with their policies. It has been hard sometimes but very worth it. My son suffered from low self esteem because of the teasing he received because he couldn't do the work at the pace of the other children and we are STILL working on this issue. I follow my own curriculum. I have a book I bought at a bookstore called"Home Schooling Year By Year". It tells what your child should be learning in each grade. You can then go to the library and get everything you need for free. There are also workbooks you can buy and alot of correspondence courses that they can take on line. Good luck and if you do decide to do this and want some further support - email me!

Answer 3

Your child sounds twice exceptional. Many very gifted kids also have learning disabilities. Unfortunately, because they are gifted they compensate well enough that the school doesn't feel it is necessary to provide services. If the child is near grade level, then in their mind it isn't a problem. However, the bright child is struggling so hard and each year gets tougher because they never received the support they needed to overcome their disabilities. I would pull her from school while you assess her situation and work toward rebuilding her self-esteem. I would get a full assessment of IQ and achievement level. A large enough discrepancy could possibly get the school to make accommodations in the future should you decide to return her to school.

Check out http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ particularly their twice exceptional page: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/twice_exceptional.htm
For online support check out gt-specials which can be found here
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/on-line_support.htm
They also list professionals used to assessing twice exceptional kids - very few are competent with gifted kids with learning differences.

There are lots of great homeschool programs. We use several courses from www.k12.com, history and language arts. It is secular and very comprehensive. You might check out www.singaporemath.com for math and science. There may be better programs out there for your child's particular issues. I would suggest checking out some of the online support groups I've listed for ideas.

Many people homeschool one child and have another attend school. You have to make the best decision for each child. However, if your other children would like to be homeschooled you may find it easier to do all of them rather than be pulled in two different directions all the time. You could approach only pulling the one out, by letting them know that you need to get a handle on the homeschool routine before pulling the others.

Answer 4

I have been exactly where you are. My daughter has processing disorders and recall issues which made it very difficult for her to complete school work in a traditional setting. The school was willing to admit there were problems, but not that thew were severe enought to qualify for any additional services or support. By the middle of third grade, my daughter was having daily meltdowns, refusing to even attempt any work in her weak area and was on the recieving end of a lot of horrible teasing. While we have experience fighting the school department due to prior experiences, we made the decision to homeschool her instead. My other child however remained in regular school.

Homeschooling has been the best thing we could have done. We use the Calvert curriculum. Currently, my daughter is working above what her grade level would be in everything but math. We have been able to teach basic keyboarding to overcome her problems translating ideas into written language and do a large part of the work orally as well. She was finally able to see that she was in fact able to learn and apply what she learned...just not in the way the school wanted. It took awhile but her self confidence has soared. We are active in a local homeschooling group as well as in the theatre arts community so she has plenty of socialization. We also made efforts to keep the friends she did have while in public school. Listen to your gut and take the plunge. It isn't always easy, but it is worth it!

Answer 5

Check out this website -- it's the Alternative Education Resource Organization -- it has information on all sorts of non-traditional schools, including homeschooling and unschooling. Often it is the learning environment that is the problem, or which can make a small issue larger.

You don't say how old your children are -- but sometimes siblings can be very perceptive -- however if they think that homeschooling means "no school" they may have a different take on it.

Take care.

Answer 6

-You have gotten a lot of answers and I hope they have helped you but maybe you can stand 1 more opinion. I have 3 children and each one of them was home-schooled at one point or another. You have to do for each child what is best for that child. Although the hardest part for each of my children was being the only one toiling on their schoolwork I am not saying that is a reason to bring another of yours home to school. It just may be a bit of an obstacle for you to overcome too. Sometimes people that homeschool really push others to homeschool and visa-versa. (If I decide it is good for me it must be good for you.) As far as how the other children feel, talk to them. They understand far more than we give them credit for and they are probably already aware of her struggles. You should take their feelings under advisment but ultimatly you are the parent and need to make the decisions you think are right. Recess is not trivial as one responder wrote. The kids who have to work harder are the very ones that need breaks and fun in their day. Your daughters emotional well being is as important as her schooling.

Answer 7

NATHHAN is an organization that is devoted SPECIFICALLY to homeschooling special needs children. Their link is below.

Is there a reason that you don't want to take the other two out of school? We're homeschooling several. While it's not always roses, it certainly is best. The nice thing is that they progress at their own rate. Another benefit we have seen with our "different" child is that he's able to make his weird noises, flap his hands, cover his ears, or get up and walk if he needs to WHILE HE'S DOING WORK. The flexibility is so crucial for a child who doesn't fit the mold.

After you look at NATHHAN, try a local support group found at http://dmoz.org/Reference/Education/K_through_12/Home_Schooling/. It can really be helpful to talk face-to-face with those who are doing it. Most don't bite ;-).

Answer 8

Since your child has these problems she DOES qualify for special services in school.
Most parents don't know that schools trick parents, violate federal laws, and will not follow the federal legal process in determining if children qualify for special services.
It's rampant all acros the country.
That being said, any child who has these type problems are better off being homeschooled, so you can teach them in the way they learn best. Schools sure won't do it. I fought with 5 schools for 2 children and 1grandchild in 2 different school districts for 8 years, so I KNOW how sorry and corrupt schools are.
I finally started homeschool and my child,who school said 'can not learn, they don't know what is wrong with her, etc' improved DRASTICALLY within the first week of homeschool.
To find out more about how schools are so corrupt in special ed, go to www.schwablearning. org and sign up for free on their 'parent to parent' message board.
LOTS of parents all across the country share their problems with this and help each other.

Answer 9

Something does not add up in this question. You complain that your daughter is not allowed to participate with other students in fun activities, but then you think the solution is to take her home where there are NO other children for her to interact with. And then you suggest withdrawing a son who LIKES school and taking him to your home instead of remaining in school. And I know of no school that would purposely exclude a student from "fun" activities (unless it is simply "recess"), to require the student to devote extra time to their work, unless you suggested this. I have never heard of CAPD, and have no knowledge of Sensory and Visual Perception Disorder, but I am sure your school psycholigist does. And they would know how to place this student properly into the correct classes that would meet her needs.

My advice is to get in contact with the teacher, counselor, special ed counselor, school psychiatrist and administration, pretty much in that order, and find some answers out about how your daughter is be treated and whether there is another solution to her problem. If you are still dissatisfied with all of these professionals opinions, at that time, and only at that time, should you consider home school yourself. And I see absolutely no reason whatsoever to take out your son who enjoys and does well in school.
If this is too hard for you, you could always help your daughter for a couple extra hours at home, or hire a tutor.
I can tell you have good intentions, but I believe you need to do more research into this particular situation with your daughter before you simply take your child out of school. That act can have some critical UNINTENDED consequences. Beware.

Answer 10

When I was growing up, my mom and dad did the equivalent of home schooling ON TOP of the education they paid for in the parochial schools.

We were often absent, especially if any of their favorite people was speaking anywhere in town (Robert F.Kennedy, John Kenneth Galbraith, Dorothy Parker) or if there was an interesting exhibit at any of the hundreds of museums in Philadelphia or its environs. Many a day, I struggled with essays or reports for my parents, while the homework for school seemed like child's play! I learned that it's possible for parents to get into the education process without taking their kids out of the schools.

I think your child would best benefit if you paid close attention to her current educational requirements and worked with her on them as if you were taking all her classes with her, and were a hired tutor assisting her as much as she needs it. If you have to go for training as an education aide, so be it; I think this would be suffiicient to help her stay abreast of the requirements and help her prepare more fully for further education.

I also think it would sit better with your other kids; one child getting what looks like simply more homework help (to them) won't cause any jealousy ripples.