my sis in law is 19 and my husband and mom in law are always bailing her out or rather.. making her irresponsible she lives w/her bf and they can never make ends meet, mom provides everything from pampers to babysitter , and pays for a baby sitter.. so my sis i n law is going to school and had to pay $100 a month.. hasnt payed it in 9 months and if she doesnt, she will get kicked out, and my stupid husband (herbro) is gonna take out a loan for her..i think he shouldnt cus she could've very well payed $50 every 2 weeks, cus she doesnt pay for sitter, cellphone or rent or nothing so i think she likes the free ride. Am i over reacting ? i dont think so, i think she needs to learn that life isnt free and has to make sacrifices, in this case an effort and to learn cus she is working and so is her lazy *** bf that only works like 4 hrs a day. so why should we bail her out every time she decides to be irresponsible, this is a constant thing, from feeding them both to diapers what should i do
2006-09-21 16:15:29 · 6 answers · asked by sourgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, you are not over reacting actually your sister in law is going way out of line. Speaking about privacy, you've been trespassed. Speaking about responsiblity, you overdone it. Tell her that the party is over. it's about time to give her some limportant lessons in life. She needs to know thereal meaning of independence and responsibility. I believe you have every reason to speak out and tell her that she is not your responsibility. Your family should come first.
2006-09-21 16:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you overreacted.
There are a few issues here.
First of all you and your husband need to get on the same page about your finances and how they are handled. I mean there should be an agreement as to whether or not to give money to family members.
Your sister in law is an adult and she has a child. She needs to learn to take care of herself. Same goes for her boyfriend. They need to grow up and make sacrifices.
I realize some people think this is unfair. But here is the thing. If you bail them out once, or twice, Ok. But when it is CONSTANT, they are taking advantage of the situation. And that is not your responsibility. You and your husband have your own lives to worry about. Be emotionally supportive to the sis in law and bf, but not financially supportive.
Talk to your husband. Tell him your feelings in a moment when you are calm. Hopefully this can be worked out. Best wishes.
2006-09-22 11:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by longhorn fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could at least get her cell phone shut off and instead use that money to pay for the $50 every two weeks and if her boyfriend has a cell phone then just use that til he gets another job or more hours and they get their phone plan combined or something. If she wants a free ride tell her to get it from her lazy boyfriend or leave him and move in with her mom. Just because she has a kid and wants to go to college isn't anyone else's fault. It doesn't seem like she's even doing anything to help come up with a solution. She can cut down on her classes so she won't have to pay as much and she just won't get her degree as soon. But at least she will be the one fitting the bill not her family.
2006-09-21 23:20:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband he is enabling her irresponsibility and to cut her off or she will never learn to be responsible. then drop it.
2006-09-21 23:23:59 · answer #4 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are. let your husband give her the money. that is very nice of your husband and your mother and law.
2006-09-21 23:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think your over reacting.in fact i totally agree with you
2006-09-21 23:24:32 · answer #6 · answered by imHereAskMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋