This is how i feel all the time .no matter how many realtionships i've been in i just can't seem to open up. i never allow myself to love or to be loved.and then when i get around guys i'm shy and diffcult to talk to because i don't feel worthy. so is there anybody who can help me? cause i don't wont to be like this all my life.
2006-09-21 15:45:20 · 29 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yea darlin you need to see a councilor. NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU TILL YOU LOVE YOURSELF. A councilor can help you get to the core of your problem and deal with it and grow from it.
God bless and good luck
2006-09-21 15:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I often feel that way. I feel like that I don't make enough money, and sometimes imature, and inadequete in the intimacy department. But I guess we all feel that way from time top time. I said all that to say this. I don't know you, but I willing to bet you have some redeeming qualities. If you would feed a stray cat, you have compassion. If you ever were curious about what is over the next hill, you might have a bit of an adventurous side. We all know something someone else does not. We 've all loved and lost. If you can hope for a better tomorrow, than you have that hope. You're as good as anyone else. Now if I can only take this to heart myself that would be great. Good luck
2006-09-21 16:03:12 · answer #2 · answered by lifeisgood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I think back to my early twenties, I think that applied to me, not the shy thing, but going along with the other person, too much, like he was better...probably everyone encounters this low feeling at some point. It's common to have a rocky start in dating, as you tear away from the intimacy of your parents.
Not only is everyone worthy, you are too. You owe it to yourself to decide you are a shy person, and anyone who wants this part of you will need to be patient and understanding.
Try building your own sense of self, read the books, ask yourself what you like and dislike about yourself and others, realize your gifts and talents. Good Luck!
2006-09-21 15:55:25 · answer #3 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Seriously. They can help you more than anybody trying to get the big two points here.
And it really could be as simple as finding the right drug(s). People who haven't felt the way you do, don't really understand how hard it can be, and will try to tell you to get over it, or just keep telling yourself that you are good. But that's not enough.
Start with a psychologist, that's someone you can talk to, and maybe make some suggestions about ways to get out the pit your in. If they think it's warranted they'll reccommend a psychiatrist who'll prescribe your drugs. In most cases, it's more effective to see both.
Good luck.
2006-09-21 15:52:29 · answer #4 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've read your question about 5 times now. I almost didn't answer it, but here I am. I've spent my life like that. Even now I feel like that. You wouldn't know it. I'm happily married, have dated quite a few hotties, etc. I have 3 beautiful children as well. I've been in counseling for six years now... b/c I found the core of the problem. The childhood problems that causes me to feel the inadequacies. The root that makes me hate myself... A lot of things I don't even really remember, but I know they happened. It's only been w/in the last couple years that I have been able to grasp the enormity of what happened to me as a child. I lived in denial for so long. I'm not saying anything major happened to you as a child for you to be like this, but I suggest some counseling and soul-searching, so you can try to find the root and fix yourself from there. You have to love yourself and open up to yourself before you can even try to love someone else! I hope you can overcome your feelings of no self worth...just as I am.
2006-09-21 16:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by breaker_1020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have felt like that for many many years and it made me so selfconscious about everything and any man. First of all you have to love yourself, sounds like a cliche i know i use to think so too, but its true. I still have trouble but have found that i am a good person. Write down your good traits tell them to yourself constantly, smile, think positive. have u ever wondered how some people just radiate confidence? it comes from within.....tell urself u deserve to be happy. u have to take a risk at some point and trust. u have friends right? u trust them right? make a friend, a male friend and start with that.......u have to put ur self out there, no one else will love u more than you will.
2006-09-21 15:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by iluvluceee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have never been in-love, because you believe more in fear's guidance, than you do in love's guidance. Fear would have you believe that if you let yourself go, and trust in love, you will get hurt. So it tells you to keep your heart hidden, and break it off before that can happen, so you can avoid knowing that pain. But in so doing, you will also never know the greatest feeling in all of life; being deeply in-love. For love is always the answer to every given question and situation in life.
Therefore, next time fear tells you something, ask it why you should be afraid, and question it until it gives you no more answers. For most everything we fear in life is not justified. But love is always justified.
2006-09-21 16:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to figure out why you feel that way and read about other people experincing the same things that you have. Everyone deserves to be loved and you are telling yourself untruths when you say that to yourself. Self discovery and truth are the only way to set your spirit free, forget about the guys for a while. In the meantime take care of yourself and maybe writing in a journal will help you find yourself.
2006-09-21 15:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by trajan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First let me say that you are totally worthy of love....everyone should believe that. I think the first thing you should do is remind yourself everyday that you deserve to be loved and not just by someone else but by yourself. we have to love ourselves before we can except the love of another sappy as it sounds. Maybe you just haven't found the right person who brings that part of yourself out. I believe that in time the right one will come along and you will feel so much love you'll bubble over.
2006-09-21 16:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by peachy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel exactly like you do.
You'll get over it, especially as you get older.
Just give the guy a chance because once you feel comfortable with him, he'll become your best friend and you'll see that you wont feel shy.
I had the same experience...and just after 6 months I started to sing to my boyfriend...he noticed too that i had opened up.
We've been dating for 2 years now, and i could fart/burp in front of him no problem!...dont worry girl, just give it a chance and go along with it! Dont feel like your not good enough...becuz im sure u are :o)
2006-09-21 15:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by ๑The Goddess๑ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes..But at last I realised something...There is no point being like that...Being a human everyone need to be loved and always wanted to love someone...It just your emotion...You can control it..Don't be too egoistic...or else one day you would be a spinster...Everyone of us is different and the differences make us special and worth than anybody else...You should believe in yourself..Shy is normal..but it can be abnormal if you are extraordinary shy!!!!Ok,what you should do is try to make a lot of friends..join friendster or join yahoo personal...Ur shy will be gone slowly..The 1st thing to overcome shy is learn too smile with everybody and then start to say hello..Good luck..
2006-09-21 16:05:04 · answer #11 · answered by Ashita Tomorrow Iwasaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋