Is there anyone with words of encouragement I can send to my Mom who was just told she has Bladder Cancer?

Question

My mom had emergency surgery last week and they removed a large tumor from her bladder. She was told the other day it was Stage 2, Grade 4 Cancer. Surgery will be needed and she will have to leave the state to have this done. (Sloan Kettering, NYC). Anyone with short messages of support or stories to share in a positive way will be helpful. I will copy and paste these messages into a private web site we have started for her.

The "journal / website" was started so that friends and people who care can leave comments during this quite scary time.

My name is John. Her name is Ann. Please sign off with your first name and where you are from. I am hoping we get some positive feedback from all over so she feels (knows) she is not alone out there and this is a battle which can be won.

Thank you all.

Answer 1

Sloan Kettering is one of the best places to be for cancer. Let your mom know how much you love her as often as possible! Tell her to visualize her body fighting off the cancer (this is proven to be helpful). Give her all the support she needs right now and let her know that you KNOW she is going to beat that nasty ole cancer! And most importantly tell her to not be afraid to complain of discomfort, pain, fear, frustration with the whole thing! She's only human and you want her to express herself through this awful period of her life. Once she gets better make sure you give her time to still be emotional. It ain't easy, but luckily she has a son that loves her, which goes a long way! Good luck to Ann!

Answer 2

I had the bladder and prostate removed in 2002 @ 74.
It's not the end of the world if that has to be performed.

There are many thousands living with it.
The products today are pretty wonderful and easy to use with minimal instructions. A home nurse will show her how to take care of herself and how to apply the products.
If her doctor has not informed you, a small length of the intestine will be removed and attached to the uretha from each kidney. The end will be placed through and sewn to her side (usually right) and exposed about 1/2-3/4 inches fron the body, below and to the right of the belly button. This is the drain directly from the kidneys. This is called a "stoma". It is very bright red in a healty condition. Any variance, see a doctor. The section of intestine has NO NERVES". It is however fragile, in that it can easily bleed. Care has to be taken to protect it from injury and it can be "burned" by excessively "Hot" water in showering or bathing.
No bathing in public pools or saltwater. Avoid any infection.
Now what, huh?

There are "two piece" products made to take care of the drainage.

I use Coloplast, made in Denmark. It consists of a round "flange", about 4" in diameter. The center has an "inset" section which has several measured areas to accomodate the various diamaters of the stoma. The center hole must be cut the correct size of the stoma. This slips over the stoma. The outer edge has a self adhesive which sticks to the skin, sealing the edge around the stoma.
One other procedure before applying the flange.
I use a "gasket", similar to a washer, EAKIN COHESIVE SEALS. It's a gummy material with pre cut holes, but it can be stretched to fit the stoma. This slips over the stoma and clings to skin with an additional protective seal that prevents leakage. Then the flange is applied and with the fingers, smoothed so it is firmly adhered to the skin all around.

Now the flange has on the outer surface, a locking ring. The next thing to be applied is a sturdy plastic pouch. This also has a locking ring that fits the one on the flange and has a locking snap. Applied correctly, it will not come off until the snap is unlocked.

The pouch has a drain at the bottom with a snap in seal. To drain the pouch just pull the plug, drain and reinsert.
These pouches by Coloplast, have compartments built in, so that the pouch does not fill like a balloon and become obvious. These are very inconspicous.
Cleansers are also available for cleansing any residue adhesive from the skin.
If your mother is on Medicare, all these are furnished with no charge.
The rule of thumb for quantity allowed is about 20 changes per month.
Coloplast products are considered "extended wear". They do last longer than some products. I'm not selling Coloplast. I have been satisfied with them.

You can go to the web site, "Coloplast" and get all kinds of info. Contact them and they will send brochures and samples, free. They do not sell direct. One must go through a "Medical Supplier". They should also carry the seals mentioned. The company can give you the closest supplier. They generally ship about 4-6 months supply, free and prepaid, if she is on Medicare, part A and B.
There are also long tubes and a night bag included. This attaches to the pouch at the drain.
To sleep overnight with only the pouch is not good. The pouch may fill, and accidents may happen.
I place the night bag in a shallow plastic container, under the bed. This is drained in AM. On a few occasions a slight leak had sprung on the floor.

If this is all beyond your mother's surgery, you know what to do.
If so, hope it helps your understanding.
One can work, play, dance, normally. I do.
I can sense when the pouch is half or more, full.
It holds about the same amount as the bladder.

By best wishes for a successful surgery and a fast recovery.

My stay in hospital was 12 days. I was pretty normal in a couple months. No driving for a month. Lots of stitches inside.
At three months, normal. I was not on chemo. Took only the first treatment. Just gave up. I'm OK. All gone.

Best wishes and God bless your mother.
She'll be OK. Hang tough.

Ed
Galveston, TX.

Answer 3

Here's some thing encouraging for you, as a minimum I believe it'll be! My surgeon tol dme that it isn't important if you are dilated or in case your cervix is thinning, that suggests nothing. There are females that stroll around dilated to 3 for weeks and do not go into labor. I was once under no circumstances checked once I was once pregnant with my second youngster until I was 40 weeks. I went in for my forty week OB investigate and that i was simplest dilated a fingertip, this was at about 1 PM. I went house and had a spicy mexican dish for dinner (which is think to support you go into labor, proper? I think it might have helped! Or was twist of fate, we will never comprehend!) and i had sharp taking pictures pains in my facet that lasted a couple seconds and then would go away, this lasted about an hour. At eight:00 my husband and that i were sitting on our bed discussing how our child was once just not going to return on her own and my water broke. My contractions started immediately after that. By the point I acquired to the health facility, which used to be a couple of 20 minute journey, I was dilated to 4 and having contractions each 2-three minutes. So just in view that you don't seem to be showing any indicators of going into labor otherwise you are not dilated does not imply you will not go into labor quickly! Exceptional of good fortune to you, i am hoping you get to satisfy your child soon! I had planned to do labor with none discomfort meds my second time round and the discomfort was unbearable, I was having back labor and my daughter was going through backwards. I just want to inform you to be open to whatever to be able to make labor development, often being in suffering can make the labor method slower. I offer you props for wanting to do it without meds, that's satisfactory, just do no be so caught on doing it with out that you don't ask for anything if you want it. No person will suppose dangerous of you if you exchange your intellect!

Answer 4

Dear Ann you are a FIGHTER, You can and will BEAT this, God will keep you close and watch over you, Just know that the opposite of life is death and as you may suffer now death is just you taking a much needed rest/ nap (dirt nap). You are now in the hands of the Lord our Savior and that is the Best Place to be. Don't give up if it is your will to live you stay focus and positive, In so many cases Doctors are not always right,And just know that It will be alright, Spend much needed time w/family and let them know that while you are alive and still here on this earth one should Cherish all that life has to offer. LOVE YOU ANN AND JOHN. And just know you are in my PRAYERS. Take Care Toni from Nashville, Tennessee

Answer 5

Ann,

I am Benita from California. A book I once read indicated that cancer can be encouraged to grow if someone is producing more insulin than necessary (a condition that happens to us all as we grow older). If you are interested in how to discourage your cancer by slowing down your insulin production, the book was "Enter the Zone" by Barry Sears, Ph.D. It is available either online, through the organization Dr. Sears started (google Zoneperfect) or through any bookstore.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I feel you will be successful in overcoming this problem. Best wishes.

Answer 6

PLEASE READ THIS... there is a website devoted to patients with serious medical conditions that also tells many success stories of patients that beat incredible odds..it is called Carepages.com. She can make her own webpage there and all her friends and family can monitor her progress, plus you get the opportunity to meet other people with your same diagnosis. It has saved my Dad's life, he suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) following a serios car accident. We posted his story there and he has met so many people with the same issues. Get her involved in this, it will improve her mood so much. BTW, I am also a cancer survivor, ovarian stage 3-4, and have been in remission for 2 1/2 years. The doctors cant predict what will happen, I guarantee you that much. Call her often and help support her emotionally, let her vent, pray together if you believe in that (it works!). And please, check out CarePages! She is SO not alone in her fight.

Answer 7

Has she tried cancer treatment centers of America? There is hope for cancer patients nowadays. There is comfort in such a scary time, it just may be hard to realize. Cancer patients become fighters from the moment they are diagnosed. You fight for your life, and you'll want to be closer to your family and closest friends, as you wonder if the treatment will work or if this is it. You don't let it get to you. Let family and friends try and to keep you cheered up. Don't dwell on the problem. Focus on the hope. Pray and you'll be in my prayers tonight.

God Bless and Get well soon,
Amber from Kansas

Answer 8

Hi Ann, My name is Mary, Last year at this time I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Stage one non hormonal basal cell. Had surgery , chemo and radiation.
I am hear to tell you to be strong. Get mad even. Do not let this disease control you. You control it.
While I had these treatments, I only worked part time and only missed three days. So you can do it to.
There is too much to live for, so come out a fighter. Will pray for you for strength.

Mary from Illinois

Answer 9

Good luck Ann. I know you will do well with such a caring, loving son like John by your side. So many people out there are pulling for you as well as praying for you...you can overcome darlin! Keep a positive outlook and your chin up...
I participate in our local Relay for Life and it is so inspiring to see a sea of survivors walking strong and proud...you go gal!
Take care hon...you are not alone!
Huge hugssss,
Teresa North Carolina

Answer 10

Hello my name in Katie I live in Detroit. As a christian I know that God will protect her in all way's. Don't get discouraged about this your not the only one. I've seen people go in to hospitals and come out feeling fine, like nothing was ever wrong. You are a blessing to raise up a son like the one you have. I truly hope you feel the same way. By the way I'm 14 years old with a BIG HEART for others. Welcome to my prayer list. (people I pray for daily) Love: Katie H