My family wants me to write out some type of document for my grandma saying what her last wishes are, so that when she dies it will be in writing. She doesn't really need a will for what she is asking But Im having a really hard time. I don't want to think about my grandma dying. Would it be wrong to tell them that I just can't do it- or would that be wrong?
2006-09-21 15:38:24 · 23 answers · asked by ur_strange2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
HI , While Death is a hard and Depressing subject especially when we're talking about those we Love , We must also think of how that person is feeling ,Above our own feelings, Writing a will ensures that your Grandmother feel 's better about where her life's possessions , Whether they be hard earned or sentimental, will go to the persons of her choosing . I understand your reluctance , But death is inevitable to everyone . It's sounds as if you have a close family and they would like to keep it in the family. So good luck and strong thinking to you.
2006-09-21 15:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Spirit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always hard to think of a loved one dying but without her wishes in writing things could go very wrong as then the government becomes the executor of her estate.
I understand you not wanting this task but I would go ahead and do it and just look at it as a favor to your grandmother. Just because you make a will does not mean you are going to die right away. Your grandmother may still live many long and happy years but at least this will be something she no longer has to worry about.
2006-09-21 22:43:58 · answer #2 · answered by morrigann_angelus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your going thru, my Grandma asked the same of me. I just laughed it off or changed the subject every time she talked about death and dying issues. Looking back, I really think she knew that she was going to die soon. I regret now that I didn't humor her. She had ideas that she wanted to share and I did not give her the chance, that was a disservice of a dishonor to her, That I wish I could rectify. She knew that people would behave in certain ways, and she wanted to protect the family from people's boorish, selfish behaviors. I wish I could have changed my behavior before she died, I wish that I was confident enough in myself that I could have allowed my Grandmother to say the things that she needed to say.
2006-09-21 22:50:00 · answer #3 · answered by mischa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you the chosen one? Having her wishes such as type of funeral, etc. is a good idea. Even personal items that she may wish certain people to have or to instruct what she would like done with her stuff. It really helped me when my mom did it but then I wasn't the one that had to write out who got the vase! I did do it for another relative and we had a great conversation about it in a "light" way. Then we put it away and I pulled it out about 10 years later. It really was a huge help and a relief that I was honoring her requests.
2006-09-21 22:46:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't your parents just do it? It's one of their parents not yours. Do they not know how to type? Why should it be your responsibility? Tell them to write it out for you and then you'll type it. Or just tell them to hire someone to write her will. They might just be using you to save on writing her will. I'm not sure if you have to have a legal document, but a personally written one might work. I'm not sure. But I would think that you would have to have your grandma's signature. Because for all the state knows it could have been forged without your grandmother's knowledge. Make your parents deal with it. It's not your problem.
2006-09-21 22:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death or even preparing for death is a hard task for anyone. But if your family has asked you to do this it is possibly becuase you are the closest to her. Also in the case that something would happen to her without one her wishes may not be granted.
Good luck in whatever you decission is, but know that if you help with this it will assist in making sure her last wishes are met and she will be more at ease with her decissions knowing what she wants has to be granted and noone can go over that. no one can argue it is in solid gold.
2006-09-21 22:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Stacey F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, no it's not wrong at all. You need to tell your family how this is affecting you emotionally and that you don't want to think about your grandma dying, I think they'll respect your thoughts and where you're coming from.
2006-09-21 23:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without a will, everything will go through probate court, and they'll take a large chunk of all that she owns as a fee for doing it. You may already know what her wishes are, but the law doesn't care, and some of those things may go to the courts instead of whom she desires them to go to.
If you do not want to do it, suggest they hire an attorney for it; since he would be much better qualified to guide her.
2006-09-21 22:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask your family to do the job for you being that you are refusing. Perhaps you can type out her wishes and let her just sigh it in front of a notary republic and then go file it with the courts.
2006-09-21 23:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not fear death. We are all goin to die one day. Dont not make the same mistake i did. My grandmother was sick for a year and i didnt want to see her. Partly i feared that she was dying and it would hurt so much if i got close. Secondly i always "thought" i was busy and didnt have time. I regret not sharing , talking, and understanding her from her own words. Take the time talk and understand. Death is part of life. Embrace it When it over, it over
2006-09-21 22:47:13 · answer #10 · answered by aznken901 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋