What would be worse-suicide or go to homeless shelter?

Question

I have to escape my abusive husband. I have beautiful baby boy. I am depressed, anorexic/bulimic, cutter with anxiety. If I find couple to adopt baby so he will have wonderful life, then I hang myself. Or do I go to homeless shelter with my baby. Can I get social services in the shelter? Are there cribs? Do they kick you out in the day and make you come back and bed time. Live in New Jersey, will get cold soon. Should I hitchhike to a warm state and be homeless there? I am also ill and may need brain surgery for my epilepsy. Need to research all of this. Any imput would be appreciated. Can not tell family. Thanks.

Answer 1

This is going to sound unsympathetic, it's not meant to be - but suicide is not the answer - where would that leave your beautiful baby boy. This is a selfish option - you are a mother and have a responsibility to your child.

There are plenty of hotlines you can ring and they will be able to assist you in more ways than you ever thought possible.

Get off the iternet and make the call now. They will tell you how to go about getting yourself to the nearest place of refuge and how to go about getting assistance.

There are many, many women the world over who have walked or are walking in your shoes. It just seems overwhelming to yow now - but once you make the first step, you will be overcome with a sense of relief.

Be courageous - stop wimping out with thoughts of suicide

Answer 2

If you are under 18 then you will have to have a police escort to the shelter. Hanging yourself will not hurt you as much as your boy, but you probably already know this. My mom was going to give me up for adoption but she kept me, thank god. You are going through alot, YES their are plenty of social services you can get. I dont know what part of New Jersey you live in but here are some links.

I know that most shelters offer transitional housing for people trying to better thier lives. So after a month or so in the shelter, which is not bad believe me I used to work at the Salvation Army in Charlottesville, VA and people were very helpful and great. Anyway, transistional housing is like your own apartment for alot less while you work a job. Daycare is provided by the shelter at no cost to you.

I'm sorry if I cannot have been helpful enough. Just remember to be calm and always be a parent.

Answer 3

A homeless shelter will provide you with so! many things that you need right now. Go! Right now! RUN! First, you need to be safe with your baby. Then, you can addess the other issues. They will help you get a restraining order, a divorce, assistance with housing, emotional and physical support, and a better life! We share the experience of epilepsy, also. I speak from experience. I thought it would be the end of the world, but it was a beautiful beginning.

Here is the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
You can call: 1(800)799-7233 or go online to
http://www.ndivh.org/

Answer 4

Actually to go to a shelter would be the best. Many have social workers to assist you and to guide you. I've had suicidal thoughts, and have been in a shelter. In the city I live in there are shelters that are for families, or women with children. they have programs that can assist you. There is also a shelter here called Sojoirner Truth House that is for battered women. Call a crises line and they can direct you. Because you have a child they would not have you out during the day. They may have no openings and you'd be put on a waiting list. Check for women's centers to locate. Check this site for information on New Jersey Coalition on battered women http://www.njcbw.org/.

Good luck if you get yourself out, and hold your head proudly for what you are doing for yourself and children.

Answer 5

Come on now!!! You KNOW that suicide is worse. That is the worse thing you can do to yourself. It is the END, nothing, no more, over.......a no no.

You need to get counseling for yourself. You need to take care of your baby. You need to get a grip on life and realize that life is a gift to you and your baby is a gift to you.

IF your husband is the problem, get away from him and then get serious medical help for yourself. Running away will not help. If you think you are abused by your husband, then what do you think is going to happen to you when YOU become homeless?? You will be in constant contact with men from all walks of life. Some "down on their luck", some "Crazys", some "Killers", some "Rapists", some wife "abusers", some "Child "abusers".......you want that? On top of all that you will stay hungry, sick and will probably die before long. You best forget all the negative thoughts you are having and figure out ways to help yourself and your baby. Look up, not down. Plan for the future. You can do it....so DO IT!!!! Good luck. Pops

Answer 6

Sound's like an abusive husband.Why are you anorexic?Wouldnt you have died if you were anorexic giving birth to a boy?lol.Dont give up your life.Whos going to look after your child?You should seek help and ring the police and family service's to help you and your child out.The more important thing in your life right now is your baby.If you die then your baby will go to the abusive father.He could abuse him till hes a teen and molest him.You really need to tell your family.Even if you are not close to them.Being secretive will hurt them in the long run if you do anything silly.Go to a women refugee.They can help you as a mother and supply you with a shelter food and a bedding.They mighten have baby crib's,but to assure you still alive they will keep you safe.If you do escape divorce your husband.Or move to another state in the long run.And be a single mother with ya baby.You dont need a husband who will do nothing but verbally abuse/abuse and hurt you or threaten you.You need to keep your child safe from harm or it will reflect on your baby in the future and he will become an mentally disordered child abusive and disturbed.

Answer 7

Suicide is never a good idea. If your husband is abusive you should go to a Domestic Violence shelter and not yo a homeless one. Social workers there might be able to connect you with free legal services agencies and maybe offer counseling advice for your situation. Hitchhike with a baby or even by yourself is too risky. also, you might ask for a restraining order so you can be protected. If you go to an hospital or police station they may have a phone number they can give you to call and ask for help. Also, this link is going to be helpfull: http://www.sboard.org/SHELTERS/NJ.HTM
there are phone numbers for a shelters in your state.

Answer 8

If u have family, get the hell out of the house to their house.
Go to a family member while your hubby is at work, dont let him know.
Then get a peace bond which is 5 bucks to keep him away from u.
Then go to Social Services and apply for Section 8 which will help u find an apartment quick.
THis is America and u can live in peace and harmony.
You do not have to live with this crazy man not another day.
U need to Love yourself and all the depression will go away.
Do this immediately for yours and your childs safety and health.
Most of all Pray to God, and he will lead u to happiness.
U are in a trap alot of young women get in but guess what,
U dont have to take it. U live on this planet once and u deserve to be happy and find a man that will treat u with respect.
U open the bible and remember a bible verse, and keep it in your brain whenever u feel depressed.
Dont give evil people or evil forces any power over u.
U have control over yourself and U will succeeed/
God bless u and by the blood of Jesus keep u Safe and guild u.

Answer 9

To escape an abusive husband, there are women's services in every city. They may be a shelter at first, but soon you will be learning skills, and be placed into an affordable living situation. May be a house with other mothers/women trying to make it on their own.
Eventually they enable you to become independent and allow you to learn to support the two of you.
Please take advantages of such places. They may not be in a very open place, as anonymity is the way they conduct business, for the safety of the victims.
Make a doctors appointment, so that your husband won't be suspicious, and ask the doctor to refer you to someone who can help you. They should be able to point you in the right direction. From there, just listen to the people at the women's' program, and learn the ways you can get away.

You are not in a hopeless situation. I understand your thoughts of suicide, but as you have a child who deserves it's mother, that is just not an option. Don't take yourself out of your baby's life. That baby deserves a happy and healthy mom, do your damnedest to make sure he/she gets one!!

Answer 10

Right now, life to you seems not worth living. I worked in 1987 with a woman whose first husband used her for a punching bag. She hid from him, and eventually got a really good husband. They have been marrried for probably 25 years, she has a great son, and her life is good.

As one answer said, you can leave a homeless shelter but you cannot leave suicide.

If your family cannot or will not help you, that family sounds like a major part of your problem.

Your life is NOT over until you make it be over. And, as a friend told me in 1973 when I divorced an extremely emotionally abusive wife, "You could try and still be unable to find another spouse as bad as that one."

Do get counseling before you make another relationship -- since there is life ahead of you and you can have another relationship. You need to find out what made you end up with him. Women try to deny it, but studies have shown most women in terrible relationships really did understand the sort of man he was, before they married, and somehow believed he would change after the marriage. there are reasons such women get into such relationships and it is imperative you find out why so you can correct your thinking.

While men as a group are not as bad as feminists claim, there are indeed a small number of really horrid men out there, and I wish we could have hit men take care of them.