I am considering leaving my husband he has gotten very controling and hates my family and friends and it has gotten to the point where he only lets me see him and his family. He threatened to take away our baby son if i did.Can he kiddnap our son? i am also afraid he might get violent he is already verbally abusive? Can i do something to keep him away from me and my son?
2006-09-21 11:33:40 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Go to your local courts and get a restraining order first
2006-09-21 11:35:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
There is a MAJOR difference between his hating your friends and being abusive. Everyone threatens to take custody of children when they're threatened with divorce. Your story is getting more exaggerated with each post. Can't wait to see how it's grown the next time you post a question. I'm onto you. Please save the resources for the legitimate cases, e.g.: women who have actually been battered or threatened. You really seem unstable and paranoid: the perpetual victim of nothing specific. And no, YOU cannot get an Order for Protection without lying about your current situation. But you may still want to consider it.
If you move with his son and without his consent, YOU will be charged with child abduction -- and he WILL get custody.
My only advice is to you is to get into some personal therapy so that you can sort things out and deal with your responsibilities better. Don't drag others into your personal issues. It's not fair.
2006-09-21 12:16:04 · answer #2 · answered by georgia b 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First off, it is not kidnapping if you take ya'lls son away, nor is it kidnapping if he takes ya'lls son away. Until there is a court order stating who has custody, either one of you can take the child and leave. Get get an attorney, let the attorney file all the paper work. Since you are married to him you can have him served with a protective order and HE has to leave the house if that is what YOU want. Most states anymore are community property states meaning what is yours is his and what is his is yours. But remember, if you get a protective order on him, you can not go to him either. You can be taken to jail for violating that also. You also need to start stashing money back, get a cell phone or better yet a track phone and hid it. If you work, that would be a good place to keep stuff hidden. Let people know what is going on.
2006-09-21 13:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lori H 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lori hits a good point.
Contact the county prosecutor and get the paper started on an order of protection. You don't have to move but it would be smart to move to a protective house for battered women and children. The prosecutor should have that information if not, see if your local police dept has a victims' advocate. He/she will have all the info you need. But get away before anything happens and do it now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you can't find help from those sources, then contact a church. They will know where to go for safety.
You don't have to have a police report for an order of protection. Some departments do not write reports when a crime has not been committed. But do it before you get hurt or killed.
You substantiate the protection order by the affidavit that you fill out for the order. Once you get the order, make several copies and keep them everywhere. You have to have a copy for the police to be able to arrest him if he comes around. Make sure your kids are listed and any place that ya'll might be. Keep copies at any listed address, your car, purse, work, friends house, friends car, relatives, etc. KEEP THEM EVERYWHERE
Good luck and get it done now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-21 13:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by levy rat 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Also, make sure you get a seperation agreement. I was in the same situation. I took the 2 boys and left. It won't be easy, take it one day at a time. But you can not live like that. Take out a restraining order. If he threatens you bodily harm or you fear for your life go to the cops, file a report and then they will take you to the magistrate ASAP and get a protection order.
2006-09-21 11:46:17 · answer #5 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There are groups that will help you and your son re-locate. You need to get out right now. The restraining order is only as good as it can be enforced. Some city official enforce some don't. If you don't think it's enforcable then don't waste your time, get going with your move. Do you have an Attorney? You might need to get one. If you can find one who specializes in divorce, they might just know of a network of people who can help with your move. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-21 11:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by edenshaw 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I agree with MaryKay. Go straight to a Battered Women's Shelter with your son. They will keep you both safe and secluded and will help you with the RO paperwork. My husband was abusive and threatened to take my son, which was a way fo further control me. My son and I left when my husband tried to strangle me. Verbal abuse can and will lead to physical abuse or death. Trust me, your son, regardless of age, will know that Daddy is hurting Mommy. So, again, go to a BWS; they are listed in the phone book or you can contact your police agency. Don't delay...get out now!
2006-09-21 11:59:31 · answer #7 · answered by LINDA V 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes!!! You can put a restraining order on him. You can get a waiver for the fees if you don't have the money to file the order. Contact the local police dpt. or a local family law facilitator. The local social services office should be able to help you get the phone numbers needed. Good luck!!!
2006-09-21 11:50:50 · answer #8 · answered by lilome41 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
All you have to do is dial 911with the new laws in place about spousal abuse he will go to jail automatically be charged with a felony and booked into you local jail hell you dint even have to prove anything just call the law. Once he is in custody you need to make some decisions about you and your kids but people are right you should not fear your husband but if you do please take care of you and your kids and call the police that kind of call is a priority and gets respond to very quickly
2006-09-21 11:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by soldierof the 82ndAirborne 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you don't do anything right now.
Keep a diary of all the times and dates.
Be sure it is in a safe place.
If you have MS Word, save it to a floppy or a CD. Hide the CD under carpet in the corner of a closet.
Write all the abuse, and his threats.
If you can use a tape recorder, better.
You should plan a place to stay and GO! ASAP.
2006-09-21 11:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by ed 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If your husband won't listen to you or go to some family counselling or anger management training I don't blame you for wanting to leave him. Do you have brothers or other male friends or family who might have a word with him.
NOBODY has to put up with domestic violence and NOBODY has any right to inflict it on their family.
You can go to a chamber magistrate or the police and take out an apprehended violence order which will explain to your husband the behaviours from which he must desist. Mental cruelty is an extremely damaging form of abuse-to you and your children .
Best of luck to you.
2006-09-21 11:40:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋