My dad died and after that my mom just started to do drugs and started to sleep around with countless men.........I confronted my about this on the way back from my grandma's house. Her (drug dealing) was in the car and to make herself not look stupid all she did was attempt to hit me, instead of trying to resolve the whole thing.......After the argument she ended up saying I'm fed up with you and she abandoned me at an AmPm. I called the cops and the ytold he rto pic kme up and she said "NO! not until he changes his attitude and gives me more respect!" The officers told her that she would be charged with abandonment and she sai " So be it......"
I have so much anger channeled torward her to where I can actually say "I hate my mom!" Is that wrong?
2006-09-21 11:31:42 · 17 answers · asked by Beachey Boy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes and move on. Surround yourself with ppl who make you happy.
It's the parents responsibility to prepare their children for life. Children do not teach parents how to be a parent.
2006-09-21 12:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Tomak 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Grief is a very delicate thing and if not dealt with can lead to very poisonous habits... she's not being a mom right now, and the drugs are changing her... Don't hate your mom, just realize this person in abandoning you is not really your mom... Remember the fonder times, and don't let the anger feed on you... Take care of your needs.. where are you staying, is a good place to be? Can you be with family? Try to finish school, don't follow her path. maybe you should think of it as you lost your parents the day your dad died. As you grow older, you will find a way to live with what she has become... until then, don't let your anger build up... no need to self destruct because your mom is. I'm very sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you... I hope you can find a way to work through this, and maybe your mom and you may reconcile some day... good luck... Find someone to talk to when ever you are the most angry...
2006-09-21 11:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by WifeandMom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm so very sorry. I wouldn't really hate her just really dissagree with what she has done. But if you look at her point of veiw she hurt, and so lost and the drugs take her away from reality and she doesn't want to deal with anything right now. Soon enough she will realixed on how much she has missed or messed up on and will come out of it someday or when ever she wanst to deal with everything. That is why most people turn to drugs is becuase its easier then dealing with the problems or hurt. I think you need to just try to help her through this and let her knwo you love her and that you both can work it all out together. On some day talk about thing that bother both of you and see if you and your mom can come to an argeement about things to help each other through it all.
2006-09-21 11:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by Kristy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't hate something that you never cared about. Your feelings of hatred come from the hurt of being abandoned.
My mother came from the same sort of background. She too was abandoned and to this day she suffers because of the pain that it caused her.
I would suggest that you attempt to work through this pain on your own or with a professional. But keep in mind that those decisions that she made to be on the drugs and her behaviors have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
She made bad choices and those are hers.
So you can say that you hate her but acknowledge that it comes from the fact that it hurts you to know that she was delusional from the drugs and made a poor choice to abandon you.
2006-09-21 11:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by goldenlifev 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to hate her at all. Very normal in fact. Your mother was not being a mom because she could not. I am so sorry for your losses. I hope that one day she gets help and can be there for you. I tell my kids when ever they ask. That their dad has addictions and he can not be a father right now. He is not a bad person he is just a loss person whom actions hurt the ones he loves. Maybe one day he can be there for you. Being the road she has chosen you should think of yourself as lucky not to be travailing that road by her side.
2006-09-21 12:21:59 · answer #5 · answered by Didi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that anger is a normal reaction. The only problem is that the resentment will turn on you and eat you up inside and make your heart hard.
Maybe you can find a church counselor to help lead you in the right direction. Forgiveness isn't easy but it is the best thing to do for yourself.
God Bless!
2006-09-21 11:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
understand that she too feels abandoned and overwhelmed at the loss of your dad. she is not being rational because of the fear and the drugs ... hopefully, you can ive with your grandparents while she tries to get her own life in order . anger toward her will not help either of you ... while your feelings are justified, realize that it is because she failed to live up to your expectations of her. she is sick and has chosen to escape through drug use. hopefully, you will turn her in so she can get some help before drugs become a way of life for her. good luck.
2006-09-21 11:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That was then, and this is now. She's your Mom. But if it makes you feel more comfortable hating her, then go for it. But you're still struggling with it aren't you? That's because deep in your heart you know ... you know that two wrongs don't make a right ... you know that you have to forgive in order to move-on ... you know that one of you has to be the better person, and that person is YOU. How do I know that? Because you reached-out for help. My best to you!
2006-09-21 12:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by TCBgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hate is wrong, it eats at your soul and destroys you from the inside, sounds like your mother had a hard time dealing with the death of your father, and in addition drugs took her mind.
2006-09-21 11:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mr K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Drug addiction is a horrible disease! Your mom has an addiction as it is more powerful than her love for you. Sadly, there is nothing you can do to make her quit. Pray for her and I will, also. I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
2006-09-21 11:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋