She accompanies me to several business dinners and functions that require skills that she is clearly lacking. I need to have a conversation with her about it, but I am trying to find the most gentle way possible.
2006-09-21 11:28:52 · 15 answers · asked by Tulsa Boy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How about if you find an adult business etiquette class and suggest that you both go together. Tell her that you want to be sure that your own manners are up to snuff (even though you probably think they are) but you'd love her to go with you, to help you remember or whatever. Who knows, you might learn something yourself! This would give you an opening to discuss things both of you are doing that could be done better.
2006-09-21 11:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is going to be embarassing for her but table manners are very important I really don't think that there is an easy way without her feeling a little embarassed maybe take her out to eat and some way squeeze that issue in maybe joke about it then get serious about it mix it in a way that maybe it can make her feel comfortable not so uncomfortable or she might not feel comfortable to accompany you to an event that require total table manners make her feel at ease when you talk to her
2006-09-21 18:38:04 · answer #2 · answered by crystal_clear_0000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm.....you're right, this is a rather delicate suggestion. Unfortunately, you haven't let us know exactly which skills she's lacking. You said table manners but didn't elaborate. Many people have problems with multiple sets of silverware (I hope the restaurants you frequent use silver and not stainless?) and the ubiquitous multiple glasses. Why not treat both of you to a training exercise that you might suggest by saying "Honey, I'm having trouble remembering which silver to use. Can you give me a hand?" If she stumbles, then laugh a little and remark that "You too? let's both give it a go."
If she's having problem socializing with your colleagues then that's another matter and you'll want to bring her up to speed on what things to talk about. You don't want her embarrassed.
Good luck, my dear.
2006-09-21 18:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read some of the answers and some are really good, my thought is that no matter how you approach the bad eating habits it is going to be pretty obvious that she is going to know your trying to fix her. Eating habits are acquired in our youth and breaking them might be easy but I think it could cause a rift between you.
As others said you didn't elaborate on what it is that she does that is so awful, if it is minor ie. doesn't use the proper fork or doesn't drink out of the water glass as you think she should I would let it go. If it is more of she is drinking out of the finger bowl and picking up her peas w/a knife while slapping another piece of bread on her plate for the left over gravy then I would consider just not taking her. It is difficult no matter what you decide.
2006-09-21 18:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by sideways 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be a role model and show your table manners. You can only hope she gets the drift of what you are trying to show and tell her. She must not be as cool as you think because table manners are just a factor in showing one's character. You might need to find someone else fast.
2006-09-21 18:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by happymixer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't bring her to your dinners and that would solve the problem. If it's business then only a wife should come with you, there isn't much committment in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that warrants bringing her to your business functions.
2006-09-21 18:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by feline_de_bourges 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get her a etiquette book by Miss Manners for Christmas or something like that.
2006-09-21 18:39:07 · answer #7 · answered by anton19542001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the LIbrary together and pick up some etiquette books and casually talk about them and then go to the table manners section. She may read some things she didn't know and apply it.
2006-09-21 18:37:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kare♥Bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her her table are like a cave women and show how to use the the proper skills while eating or leave her at home.
2006-09-21 18:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by gsxrter1994 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem is that you're NOT trying to hurt her feelings. Tell her that if she doesn't start shaping up you're gonna find a real woman. And tell her she's fat too. That always works :)
2006-09-21 19:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by demiseoftheprayr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋