at what age should you start to talk to your kids about sex?

Question

...and how should you start off "THE TALK"

Answer 1

We started talking about sex from day one. I don't think there is one "talk" that you have with a child. I think it starts off with simple things like giving a body part a proper name. It irritates the crap out of me that people can't say "penis" and give it some dumb name.

Other than that, I think that the child will start to ask questions and you answer them open and honestly without overwhelming information. Obviously talking about "where babies come from" with a 5 year old is going to be a different conversation than with a 9 year old.

Answer 2

I found a book called 'Almost 12' that covers 'The Talk'. However, we couldn't wait with our 10 year old, who gave us reason to change the door lock for our bedroom.
Basically, don't be afraid of the talk. In the years leading up to this point, you may have already covered some of the details (sperm and egg) without having to go so far as to mention the event that triggers it all off.
The starting point is always where do babies come from. If you find the talk uncomfortable, start out talking about how animals do it. Eventually, though, you'll have to mention the private parts, and how they're sacred. (Even if your principles aren't built upon faith - Christian or otherwise - sacred still works for this context). Passions have a power of their own and young kids must be prepared to handle them.
You're allowed to have fun while giving the talk - don't make it all so serious that the kid doesn't want to raise the subject with you again. You must remain approachable about this subject in order to provide further coaching as the child develops

Answer 3

Both my daughters asked me where babies came from around age 7 or 8. Kids will probably ask parents around this age if they are comfortable about talking to parents about what’s on their minds at the time. I simply told them the basics of reproduction in words they could understand. Why parents so often choke over telling a child how it works when they first ask I am not sure. Do they expect the child to race out and start having sex? It’s a question about how reproduction works for Gods sake, not a question about the pleasures of sex or how best to engage in it. Both my daughters were somewhat shocked. By that age children have learned about mammals and if you explain that it works the same way for dogs, cats, horses, elephants, etc, and other mammals all over the earth they calm down and see it in the broader context of life, which is how it should be seen.

My youngest daughter is quite smart, so after I explained to her what sex was and how babies came into the world she thought about it, then about herself and her sister. She asked “So, you and mummy had sex?” I replied “Yes” She looked appalled and said “TWICE?” I just smiled and nodded. They are both 9 and 12 now, and have never asked any more questions about it, because reproduction is taught at school (here in Australia) each year in increasing depth, together with what inappropriate adult behaviour is.

Answer 4

Everything must be age appropriate. When the question comes up keep it simple, if the answer leads to another question then take it from there. Young children are not looking for elaborate answers. However, I think the talk about privates and nobody touching them there should be had early and often. My daughter's pediatrician reminds her every year at her physical that only the Dr (when mommy or daddy are there) and her parents can check her there and only for good reason.

Answer 5

You don't have the talk. That's not going to work. Is there anything you've had one talk about that changed a kid's perception? You have to talk often, as things, and questions arise. It should be as easy for you to talk about as cooking. It should be discussed openly.

Age isn't a reason! You talk to your kids about all kinds of things they won't do for years, driving, drinking, drugs, marriage, college...It's just like that, inevitable, and part of adulthood. And you can't wait for a kids to ask! Some thirteen year old kids don't ask. Some three year olds do. You tell the truth in the most fatter-of-fact way. If what they're asking is crude or inappropriate, you tell them it is, and that you won't discuss it.

I can't believe so many people waiting so late--says so much about our society!!!

Answer 6

If a girl gets her period and she doesn't know what's happening to her then you waited too long for the talk. Kids should know everything about sex before they are 10 years old. Also keep in mind you are competing with the internet, which could be teaching your kids wrong things.

Answer 7

alright, there are different stages and different levels of when and how to tell them
young kids- all they need to know is the male female parts and that they are private, trust me, curiosity starts young
in the middle- you dont need to explain much, they put two and two together also , just answer all appropriate questions and all others say "we'll talk more about this when you're older"
older kids- they know enough about this subject and most schools also teach sex ed class in elementry and middle school( and high school) so you dont have to add much but do try to keep positive influence in their lives so they dont end up getting a little too much info fro bad ones

Answer 8

I'd say 10-12ish...I used to think that just if a guy and a girl slept in the same bed the girl would get pregnant...that was like when I was like 10...tell them the facts, don't make up stuff, and if you have a daughter, then definetly tell her when she starts her period if you haven't done so before that.

my mom never gave me "the talk" so I can't help ya with that....I figured out stuff between reading stuff online and asking friends embassing questions...not the clearest and easiest way, but it worked well enough.

Answer 9

When they start asking... start with the truth.. Answer their actual question honestly, without going into detail. It's natural for them to be curious, and good sex education starts at the beginning. This helps to keep from building false hopes for the act later in life.. i.e. sex isn't something you do when you love each other.. it should ONLY be had if you're in a manogomous relationship. Be sure to make those differences clear from the beginning. This helps prevent adding that misconception that if you have sex, you are in love.

Answer 10

When they start to ask, but then ONLY answer their specific question, don't elaborate until they are ready for the whole story. For example: where did I come from? ASK - it might mean the name of the hospital, not the birds & the bees. Also, it the child does not approach you by puberty (some kids are verrrrry shy talking to parents about this stuff) - you must sit them down and have 'the talk' -- it is very important that they know by then.