Why?? For Gods sake! This is a serious question, and so those who mock please, with respect do not respond.?

Question

Why, when you lose some one, so close to you, whomever they may be, why? Do they not contact you in some shape or form to tell you they are ok & still watching over you! Do they comprehend the grief they are putting us through, which goes on for decades until we die?
I know I sound totally selfish because they are without life (at least as we know it) but why can’t they give us a clue as to what is going on & what to expect, otherwise what is the point? Why are we here? Seems to me some of us are just put on this planet to suffer, so what the hell is the point?? Because are we ever going to see our loved ones again; Mums, Dads, Brothers, Sisters & most important of all our offspring.

Answer 1

I honestly don't know.

I'm sorry for your loss. I do know that the pain of such a loss never goes away though. You learn to live with it after a while.

Answer 2

We are put on this earth to learn, not to suffer. What kind of people would we be if we lived perfect lives and never experienced emotions. How you deal with these feelings is what make you either an average person or an extraordinary person. As for your first question, some people can feel the presence of people they have lost. Maybe you are not ready to have the experience for yourself. If you really want to communicate, I would suggest going to a medium. (Be careful not to get a dogdy one). My father died last year, and I saw a medium (who I can without any doubt say was not a fake) and my father was in the room with us. Some people may mock this, but you'll never understand until you actually do it.

Blessed Be

Answer 3

The Bible has all the answers to the questions you ask - but you have to look them up

The dead are unconcious with no thoughts or feelings
ECCLESIASTES 9:5 & 10 & PSALM 146:4

The only hope for the dead is a future resurrection onto the earth
JOHN 5:28,29 & PSALM 37:29

Lazarus had been dead for parts of four days but didn't say anything about being anywhere else when Jesus raised him
JOHN chapter 11
(verse 24 shows that his sister believed in a future earthly resurrection)

To say that a person or personality survives in some way after death is an extention of the lie that Satan first told Eve
(GENESIS 3:4) He said that she wouldn't die but she did.

The only hope for our loved ones that have died is a resurrection in the future onto the earth.
It doesn't make sense that God would allow our dead loved ones to watch over us as we suffer trials etc without being able to do something to help us (how frustrating would that be?)

Check the Scriptures

Answer 4

I lost my best friend 20 years ago, and as much as I would like to think he is waiting "somewhere" to greet me when I die, I know this isn't going to happen.

The reason people don't contact us after they've died is because "we" are nothing more than the sum total of the electro-chemical reactions that take place in our brains. Once our bodies stop producing electricity, these reactions stop, and "we" cease to be. We don't go anywhere, we don't float away, we simply stop.

Everything that goes into making a person who they are, their personality, their ideas, their thoughts, their mannerisms, their unique traits, can be broken down into neurochemical patterns in a vast network of brain cells. It's the most complex thing nature has ever created, but it doesn't last.

There is one bright spot though. Hopefully someday, computer memory will advance to where it is as complex as our human brains and we will be able to "download" ourselves into the machines, thus achieving a type of immortality. Probably this will happen as we already seem to be moving towards a future where everything that happens to us is recorded from birth to death.

The day may come where you will be able to log on to the internet and ask your dead parents for advice, and not be able to tell whether you are talking to the real people or their downloaded memories.

Answer 5

It's a hard one.

Unfortunately every why in the world can be answered with a why not? That's the way of world i'm afraid - people are born, people die, some sooner than others. Why does the sun rise and set in the sky? Why do we breathe air and not water?

We could spend our lives thinking about the why...or we could make the best of what we have. es it does seem that some people are put on the this world to suffer but everyone is here for a reason (I believe anyway!) If we lose someone close to us we need to spend our time thinking about all the joy that they brought to us in life and make a celebration f their life, however long or short. A child being in the world for just a few minutes may touch/affect someones life for the better forever. We will never know.

Please, i know it is hard but stop being angry. What has happened has happened and you arent helping anyone by trying to change that or find a reason for it. Concentrate on the people that are still living - they may need a hug or a chat or simply to smile and laugh with you about the good memories. Be there for them and find comfort in each other.

Good luck and much sympathy. x x

Answer 6

I'm sorry to see that you are still grieving after such a long time. I pray that you feel better soon. The answer to your question is that you shouldn't worry about them because they are in a better place. You still have a chance with life. Think of yourself as a child, still growing, still learning from life. I've lost friends through death and through just moving away and losing touch. To me its the same because you never hear from either, and you can never get in touch with either.

One of my friends was my age and died from a stroke, completely unexpected. I think of him alot and miss him dearly, but I know that I still have a chance of making something of my life. I am trying to be a good person in this life because I know that after death there will be a judgement.

Its not fair that we live life and go through it with regrets. We should look forward to the future and learn from the past. But when someone leaves, it is sometimes the hardest thing to do, move on. If I managed to move on from my various pitfalls, I'm sure you will too.

I had an accident in which I was in an intensive care coma for 2 weeks. That was in 1991. At the time my parents never thought I would make it but I did. I believe that I was given another chance. So now I want to make the most of my life.

The only thing I can offer is that you can e-mail me and tell me things or ask me things, and I will try and do my best to answer them in the srtictest of confidence and highest of respect. And if I don't know the answer I will get you the answer.

I have to give it to you though, you have acheived one thing that I never thought anyone could. You managed to avoid anyone who wished to mock or slur or swear or simply take the micky. Respect! You have managed to deter so, so many arrogant, thoughtless individuals and made them stop and think about what they are doing with other posts. I KNOW that I won't be mocked in this thread.

To conclude, I believe that once its over, it is over. For the people that have left us it is too late, but we still have time. I would like to thank you for your post and regardless of your thoughts about my answer, you have enlightened me. Thanks.

Rico.

Answer 7

They can't let you know because the connection has been terminated. You know that. Imagine if you did have this connection you would be trying to get in touch to see if "thtey are ok" at least once a day. Then this would not be enough, you'd be still worried. No once can say what if beyong this world because you can't come back. The only thing you can do is to BELIEVE that they are all right. When something terrible happens we try to find reasons, answers because it's hard to accept the reality, but the truth is that this person or persons that you are talking about were making you happy and now you can't put up with the fact that they are not with you anymore. You WERE incredibly lucky that they ever happened to you, that you were makin plans for your own and thei future together. You have to find new plans, new goals despite the pain, and this will not be offensive to them ,it's your only way of surviving and staying sane. Please take a time out, go out for a walk, go see friends or something, read a nice book outside of your own situation, and come up with something that can keep you busy and motivated, and hopefully do something to improve your state. Nothing selfish about that.

Answer 8

My father was a holy man who was brave to the end. His last words to me were that 'He has the easy part.....it's the people left behind that get hurt and suffer' He's right but I believe he IS watching over me and I'm sure that is the case for the person you have lost. It's not easy but just take each day at a time and live your life to the full it's what they'd expect of you.

Answer 9

I am sorry that you suffer.
Losing loved ones tells us that we are living life with meaning because we let ourselves love, and it also makes us wonder what is the point of loving if they will all be lost eventually.

I like the fact that your question implies our relationships with loved ones will continue even if death separates us. Our love for lost ones will continue as long as you believe in them and honor there memory.

Humans have different answers about if or if not their loved ones communicate with them after dying. Some people believe it happens, others don't. The stronger your grief is, the more likely you will be deny any communication whatsoever.

No one can tell you truthfully on this one. You have to think hard about the realities of losing someone and how permanent death is.

If you are ready to let someone go, and you believe in the love and friendship you shared with them in this life, then I believe you can find the answer you are looking for.

And if it helps any, you are watched over, they know what kind of grief you feel from their absence and you are definitely being waited for.

Answer 10

The Bible teaches us that death comes because of the sin of our ancestors Adam an Eve, whose actions disobeyed God and so the world fell into sin.
The Bible also teaches that those who place their faith in JesusChrist shall be given eternal life in the Holy City, and so, to answer the question, when we die our body is useless, but yes, the spirit does live on and is able to communicate messages to the living, whether a goodbye, a warning, comfort or simply letting you know they're safe and happy.
As for the world being full of suffering, if you look then most if not all of the bad things that happen in the world are man-made- love of money, idol worship, wars, racism, hate, murder...God gave us free will, but it seems some people want to create hurt and evil.
But those who suffer will gain their reward in heaven. And they shall be reunited with their families and so you WILL see loved ones again, even those who you have never met.
Please read Revelation in the Bible- it gives me great hope.

Answer 11

I truly understand your grief, BUT, you have to realise the grief you are suffering is brought by the feelings you have for YOUR loss. It is NOT the fault of the deceased.
Perhaps you could consider celebrating the life they had; the fact they are no longer bound to the hate, fear and suffering this world inflicts upon us at times in stead of mourning your loss?

Be happy you were given the chance to know them and that they had such an effect upon you.
All this pain you feel is solely within you and you alone. You really do have the power to rid yourself of that suffering and to be able to enjoy life for what it can be again.

Think of it like this: Perhaps, just perhaps, the afterlife allows us to transcend restraints such as emotions. Maybe we no longer need our material-based egos that are responsible for our loves and hates? Perhaps, once we leave this physical life, we become enlightened to something "bigger" going on? Maybe that's why they have not contacted you, because they have truly transcended their base, animal instincts, including those hinder-some emotional ties that if retained, would quite possibly stop them becoming "more", or truly spiritual beings?

I really hope you find solace soon and manage to come to terms with your loss and your grief. It can be hard, but time WILL heal. You will never forget, but you will come to accept.

All the best.