With child abuse as this weeks issue in the news and papers, what are the boundries, and fine lines before it is actually considered abuse, or just an excusable mistake?
The only way for parents to learn is to learn by mistakes. But how can we define the line between what is a mistake and what is abuse?
2006-09-21 10:55:48 · 14 answers · asked by lonely as a cloud 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Everyone knows what is a right and wrong thing to do to another person, especially one who is smaller and more vulnerable than the adult. A mistake would be rectified immediately afterwards, abuse is often left.
Mistakes are usually also one offs - people learn by their mistakes and shouldn't do it again. Abuse is a series of mistakes, where the perpetrator doesn't learn and continues the behaviour/abuse/'mistakes'.
Mistakes are innocent, abuse is deliberate and completely avoidable. :(
2006-09-21 11:04:04 · answer #1 · answered by smileyscribe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A very good question, and one that the courts are going to have to decide more and more if the do-gooders and liberals have their way.
I think that most of us know that some of the things these lunatics scream "abuse" over are no such thing. Maintaining discipline and respect by giving your child a light slap is far less abusive than allowing them to grow up feral as some say they should do.
We as parents have to stand up for our children, as I cannot see any civilized court fining or imprisoning a parent, or splitting up a family for what any reasonable person would consider "reasonable chastisement", or as you so rightly say, a mistake. Sometimes, you only want to clip the little so-and-so, but they move the wrong way.
There are already plenty of laws to protect children from real abuse, which I consider to be emotional, physical or developmental harm or neglect.
2006-09-21 18:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many people view children as mini adults - remember - children go through a number of developmental stages (Look up Piaget ) on the web.
If you abuse children you are in effect teaching them the power of fear and they will abuse others.
If you shout at children you will teach them to shout back and at others.
When I was growing up my life was not always easy with conflicting family values - I feel privileged to have broken the mold I simplywant my 2 children to be well balanced and happy. My wife an I enforce boundaries in a non violent - non threatening way.
Therefore my advice is.......No matter what has happened to you or your peers in the past - good or bad - think about your childs point of view for a moment -how does it feel to be micromanaged and bullyed by a parent?
I would challenge any parent who advocates any sort of physical or mental abuse to put themselves in their childs shoes -
So my point is, that we all make mistakes as parents but there is no mistaking the child that is physically or mentally abused - and no justification for it.
2006-09-21 18:13:45 · answer #3 · answered by Simon 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The reality of raising children is not a manual or a set of guidelines. Let's face it, they drive us to utter insanity at times no matter how much we love them or how much of a good parent we hope we are being. We all lose it sometimes. We say things we regret, we shout, throw things sometimes, cry, feel we've failed. That's true parenthood. I have smacked my children but the upper body and face especially are absolute no go areas. That would be considered abusive. It's a tough old job raising children. If they are happy, know they are loved, told they are loved and given your attention, they are Ok and you are an Ok parent. If in doubt, contact childline, they are there for parents as well as children.
2006-09-21 18:15:52 · answer #4 · answered by helen p 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The site below explains the definition of abuse.
My Health teacher told the class that all parents are amateurs and they all make mistakes. A good parent will only screw up the kid a little bit, a bad parent could ruin their lives.
2006-09-21 18:10:13 · answer #5 · answered by Nat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In terms of physical discipline, you should only punish to correct, and with a cool head.
If you ever hit a child out of fustration or anger, regardless if they did something to warrant a spanking, then you've gone too far.
I find that a fair guideline in terms of punishment. Everything else is just something you learn as you go.
2006-09-21 18:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be a good parent you protect them from danger and teach them right from wrong and being a grown up you should know what is acceptable behaviour in todays society if you dont then dont have children.
2006-09-21 18:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by vicky s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Americans are a brainwashed nation frightened by hypocritical laws and fake morality and your question is a sample of that state of mind.
2006-09-21 18:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one.
For example: You can spank your children, but you can't punch them. Anything it is wrong to do to a person, it is wrong to do to a child.
You can never say weather or not something is abuse, but if you think it could be, just don't do it.
2006-09-21 18:03:27 · answer #9 · answered by ►♦◄ bow 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
One does the best one can and hopes for the best. There is no user manual and everybody thinks they are an expert.
2006-09-21 18:04:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋