my ex (now soul mate) is having problems with her ex before me. she got a son with this guy. since they split up he never been able to accept it. first of all he was calling her, now he become very violent with her. he nearly run her over once time, he has hit her, now he theatening and promised to hurt and even kill her. she so scared for her self and her son. she got one of them things on him that if he comes with in 3 miles of her or something he gets arrested. but thats not stopped the theats. i want to help so much cos i still love and care about her but she wont let me because she says she dont want me to get hurt.
i told her i dont care and i know people who can sort him out (if u know what i mean). i tryed so hard to get her to see sence but she not giving in.
im so worried about her! if he hurts her again i promised her id kill him but oneday im not going to be round for what ever reason.
how can i get her to see sence and come and stay with me untill he has gone??
2006-09-21 10:02:49 · 18 answers · asked by alan h 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Ask her to keep complaining to the police and take anything you can as evidence. The police will just try to tell you theres nothing they can do anymore and try and get rid of you, but if you insist that you are in danger then they have to do something to protect you. Ask her to keep telling them until they do something more.
Why did you break up? Is it because of this problem? Does she still love you? If she does, but but doesn't want you to get involved then tell her how much you love her, tell her you can't live without her. Women don't think in the same way as men. So while to you, sorting him out or killing him seems like the right thing to do, se will think very differently. Men act out of anger and pride, you have a typical man's reaction, but it is not directly your problem and so you can't do want you want to do. You have to be there for your ex, if you do what you have in mind, your ex will feel even more alone and frightened, she will feel like you have gone crazy and you too are uncontrollable, you most probably remind her of her ex. You have to support her, speak to the police, don't take things into your own hands. There will be other organisations that she can contact that will be able to help, find out about these, she will be entitled to more protection because a child is involved.
Don't think violent thoughts, because that will push you away from your ex. Think of other ways to help her. Be there for her emotionally, she will need this more than anything.
I hope everything works out for her and for you.
2006-09-21 10:24:36 · answer #1 · answered by lakmii 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you live in but there are several states that just plain don't care (Indiana, Florida and Texas just to name a few). And I completely understand your frustration with the restraining order because they are about as worthless as the paper that they are written on in most states and they definitely do not stop a car from hitting someone, nor are they bullet proof. However, the more times this person is turned in for violation of a restraining order in any state the police are going to get SICK of it and get sick of having to write up reports and eventually he will get his. If you are in the state of WA - a death threat is a jail sentence waiting to happen (they will even extradite from other states for this crime, my ex should know) - by the way I'm here so my ex can start no more **** with me or my son.
On yet another level there is also Carma - what comes around goes around. You do not want to be the one sitting in a jail cell for murder of a person that is beneath you.
Remember - If you love something let it go, and if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was.
Good luck!
2006-09-21 10:49:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what a situation i really feel for you and i totally agree she needs to see sense and if she isnt worried about herself she needs to think of her son because even though her son is not at threat it could effect him in other ways as he will know something is wrong with his mum,i dont know how you can get her to listen as only she can make this decision but she needs to contact the police again and get as far away from him as possible,im sorry i couldnt give you the answers but i wish you all the luck i can and remember even though you feel your not doing enough you are because by you sticking by her and trying to help you are a true friend.
2006-09-21 10:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by sam* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get her to a women's shelter /safe house. they can get her legal help since he is not obeying the legal order she has gotten (I forgot what it is called also)....
My sister went through the same thing...her ex almost killed her (put her in the hospital for 2 weeks! after repeatedly smashing her head in). She needs to see that she is worth more as a human being that being treated like that. For most women it is a self-esteem problem. They don't think they are worth anything more than the abusive relationship. Its going to take something (or someone like you) to change her way of viewing herself and her self-worth. Tell her how valuable she is and how much she is above being with (or even in contact) with that abuser.
2006-09-21 10:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by pheonixardent 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so nice that she has somebody who cares for her and wants to be there for her like you do but you really can't interfere. All you can do is keep supporting her like a good friend at this point and hope that she sees sense some time sooner rather than later. You have to think of your own sanity too.
2006-09-21 10:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to keep calling the police every threat that she gets. they WILL eventually listen and get the dick arrested. i went thru the same and have come out the other side.i know you hate him and want to hurt him for what he has done to your friend and her son but by you saying that to her will make her more worried believe me, be strong for her, and remember if you did follow your actions thru and hurt him in some way you will get punished too, then what good to her are you if you banged up too... take care of each other and good luck.
2006-09-21 10:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by s j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He broke the law more than once. Call the police. He can be charged with attempted murder, assault, battery and menacing. If he has some sort of custody agreement it can be revoked because of his actions. Call the cops and get a lawyer.
2006-09-21 10:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by tidebooster 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only way to deal with this situation with a wierdo like that buddy is..1.go pay that chicken shite a visit..dont hurt him but put the fear of god into him,people that do that to women are normaly bullies that when confronted get scared ,they can allways smack someone weaker than themselfs but are chicken shites when its them.
2..tell her family what is going on,she might hate you for this for a while but you will be protecting her in the long run.
HOPE IT GOES AWAY BUDDY,PLAY CLEVER!!!!!
2006-09-21 10:12:49 · answer #8 · answered by brian 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him ya so!! If he grew to become into grew to become off with the aid of it, he might have in simple terms skipped over you and not teased you approximately it. tell him, he'd be an fool to no longer understand you have been crushing on him, and your in simple terms sorry it took you writing a word to parent it out. yet you gotta say it with a grin and a sprint sexy strategies-set. do no longer act bizarre or diffrent....have confidence me, he teased you approximately it, that's ok. Now go ask him what he's gonna do approximately it, or, I choose the formidable approach, and in simple terms supply him a super ole kiss and get it over with...stable luck
2016-10-15 06:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bringing in heavies is not the answer and you know it. How would you like it if he had brought them in to sort you out when you began the relationship. Have a bit of faith in the police and make sure they are given all the facts, like you have done here....
2006-09-21 10:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋