ive always been second best in my family trying to get approval from my mother im an adult now and shes still

Answer 1

Accept yourself for who you are and who you have become.That's all that matters. When you have that you won't long for the approval of others. What they think shouldn't matter, as long as you are doing the best you can in life. That's really all you can do. I used to be the same way. I needed other people to say I was doing a good job before I believed in myself. Finally I learned that nothing I did was ever going to be good enough for someone else, it had to be good enough for me!! I love myself for who I am and what I have accomplished in life and that's enough for me.

Answer 2

Stop - I repeat - Stop trying to get approval from your mother at this point in your life. You are the adult now and anything that did not go right in your childhood is over. If the way she treats you now is not making you happy then limit the amount of time you spend with her. You can do that - remember, you are the adult now.

Answer 3

The easy way?

Grow up and accept who she is.

The hard way?

Screw up in your relationships. Do a half-*** job at anything you do. Give your man (if you have one) hell, by constantly nagging him that you don't feel appreciated, then find reasons to break-up and blame him for all your problems. Bother your friends by doing stupid things to get attention so they can cut you off. Then go to therapy and tell the therapist why you did these things.

OR

Have a sit down with your mom and tell her you need her to validate what you do because you never felt appreciated to begin with. Your going to expect a little resistance or you may not. The point is that you HAVE to tell her how you feel. Try not to have it in an accusatory tone and don't vilify her. Her defense will go up and she'll give you a harder argument and feel she owes you nothing.

This will work best if you don't live under her roof. It's best when you have your own. If not, the odds are going to be on her favor and she'll have reason not to take you seriously.

Something will come out of it and don't have high expectations.

Go to it kid and good luck.

Answer 4

i know how that feels. Don't give up just yet. The way i see it she has just been trying to hide something all those years. Like, maybe the fact that she really is proud of you? I don't have a point of view to speak from, but i do know this, sometimes when there is something really special that someone has to say about you, they find it easiest to just not say a word. This might not be the answer to your specific problem but, its what i think of the situation.

Answer 5

You are never going to get what you want from your family....Accept this, accept yourself and move on.

I have moved way beyond trying to win my familys approval......I look back on them and I feel nothing but pity and I am sorry I wasted all of those years thinking they were something special

Answer 6

Been there. Spent my life trying to show my parents how "good" I was. My mother saw that when she became ill and I was the one who rented out my house and moved in to take care of her. After her death, I wondered why I cared all those years who she favored. I loved her and she did treat me well.

Answer 7

We often spend lots of time and stress trying to impress our parents... the trick is, our attempts to please them instead of ourselves is often what is making them not reward it... Tell them that you love them, but you just can't do things their way... you respect them, and their opinion, but you have to do things for you from now on... stop torturing yourself... you are the greatest you there is... never second best.... I tried so hard, constantly torturing myself over my parents disapproval of how I was handling things... I love them, but they finally respected me after I stood up for myself and told them that I couldn't struggle with it anymore. And today I wouldn't change a thing! They wish nothing more to save us the troubles they forsee, and think our paths and choices unwise... but trust in yourself, you have to live it... and it turns out in the end...

Answer 8

As long as you are satisfied with yourself that is all that matters. Don't waste your time trying to get her to see your light. It's pretty crappy of her to even be that way.