My three year old daughter is scared at night asll of a sudden. She doesn't want to go to sleep.?

Question

I have tried everything. We walk through her room, checking for monsters.

Answer 1

Maybe she had a bad dream. My 6 year old has always had bad dreams and she wakes up crying and crawls into my bed with me because she refuses to go back to her bed to sleep.

I bought a night light and a glo-worm which helped a little.

Answer 2

All children go through phases. My 5 year old has suddenly taken to wanting the door left open after having 5 years of the door being shut. I am linking it to starting school. Has there been something that could have triggered your daughter's fear that you could help her deal with?

A plug night light is quite nice for a bit of comfort, or one of those Glow Worms that can be reactivated with a cuddle so the night won't seem so dark if she wakes up.

I also had to spend some nights shaking my son's pillow - this got rid of any bad dreams he thought he might have. The bad dreams in the pillow fell on the floor and and he was left with an empty happy pillow. Whatever is thought of that - it works for us!

It will be a phase that she will pass through. So long as you can remain relaxed for her and make bedtime routine a priority with an extra story, more cuddles, etc, then she can't but help feel secure with you somewhere else in the house keeping her safe. Even if it means leaving the door open so she can hear you going about and know you're near her as she falls asleep.

Answer 3

I feel for you, it can be really worrying when a child starts to behave differently !
I went through something similar with my 8 year old son ( which is worse at that age I think ) ..he would go to bed, but every 10 minutes he got up, came downstairs..and the excuses were endless !! Needed the toilet, needed a drink, I want mum ..etc, etc !!! I was at my wits end, he didn't have a " real" reason as to why he couldn't sleep ( I know that he has always been scared of the dark though, so it was clearly a major factor, eventhough he has a night light on ..and shares a room with his little brother ) !!
This went on for months, and the result was a very tired little boy at school the next day !
I got some " comedy" books that I started to read to him before bed ( you know..take his mind off things ) also, I found a nice hot bath helped to relax him rather than a shower, and lots of reassurence !!
I know it's hard, but with a 3 year old it's difficult to know what may have caused this, I think you'll find she's not sure herself .I think it's just a phase however, be there to comfort her, but try not to allow " bad habits" to sneak in there, like mum running everytime she calls ( it's what I did, and paid the price) . My son has finally stopped his night-time dramatics now, so I'm sure your little girl will, try not to worry to much, a lot of kids go through very similar things .
All the best .

Answer 4

Isn't this the age that they start to dream? My little boy was insistant that there were monsters in his room so we made a monster. It's a picture on A4 card using a monster kit we got from the early learing store (funny shaped faces, goggley eyes etc) and this is the king of the monsters and we put it under his bed to scare the monsters away and after about 2 nights he now sleeps through again and doesn't give us any trouble going off. Monsters are scared of Mommy's and Daddy's too you know!

Maybe sitting in the bedroom playing for a while before getting in to bed may chill her out and then she'll know what's coming and hopefully relax.

How about a story tape? My sister finds that works with her 3. Maybe a lavendar bag which can be warmed in the microwave to release the scent and it go under her pillow.

How about letting her choose something for her room which can be used at night, a new night light, some fairy lights, a blanket for her bed. Anything which will make her want to go to her room.

I'm racking my brains now! Let us know how you get on! x

Oh, and never stay with your child until it's asleep! You could be there for hours. Been there, done that. We now go straight up, 1 story and lights out. Never hang around, they'll try every delay tactic in the book, wee wee's, another story, I'm cold, my leg hurts, I need Calpol, I want a drink. The list goes on!!!

Answer 5

Do not check your daughters room for monsters as you are confirming that they exist.
Occasionally take your daughter in your arms and carefully walk round her room in the dark with soft music or sing her a lullaby do not mention monsters. She will see for herself that there is nothing to worry about. You may find soft lighting useful but beware of casting a shadow. If she sees one play at shadow puppets on the wall. Let her do some too. She can then gradually get the idea that darkness and shadow can be fun. Do not make monster shadows just rabbits or the like. Grandma Rose.

Answer 6

This is normal. You probably went through this yourself. Can you remember how you coped?

I used to think happy thoughts when I was scared. What does she love the most?

Rather than hunt for monsters last thing, give her something positive. Fight imagination with imagination:

1 You could talk about Shrek or some other large and friendly hero she might have. He could guard and protect her through the night.

2 She could have some safe and secure place to go to, like an island or a well protected castle, for example, where the monsters cannot get to. You could talk to her about who else is there? She could put into it all the things she loves.

3 She could have a more real thing, like a large stuffed lion. She could cuddle up to him for safety.

The main thing is to talk to her, try to put her in control. She should chose the method that appeals to her.

There is a possibility, if this has been going on for some time, that she is enjoying the fuss and attention. In this case, the talks will give her attention, without dwelling on the terrors. You might consider giving her a little settling down time, chatting to her as she lies in bed, reading her a story, listening to some music together.

Not many of us go to sleep straight away. Most of us lie for a little while and think. The thing is to train her mind to think in a constructive, relaxing and comforting way, not to lie worrying and fretting, and getting into a panic.

Answer 7

How does the three year old know about monsters, which do not exist, at least in my childs head. My kid was never scare of the dark, niether was I, kids do take thier que from their parents, and it does not, necessarly have to be the spoken word. Ask her why she is scared. Tell her monsters are fables in old story books, just imagination by old fashiond people. The dark is when the stars and the sun sleep. Tell her that, she will sleep the same time the sun and the stars sleep.She will feel important. She, will sleep.

Answer 8

This is typical of children her age and you cannot rush things. If you can't bring her to bed with you then you will have to do what you are doing and put up with the middle of the night crying for you.

To a three year old a thought is as tangible as you are and she really cant tell the difference between real and make believe yet.

It may be hard for a while but she will get past this and go back to sleeping on her own.

Try a night light.

Answer 9

I think it is quite normal at that age. My son was just the same. We used to tell him a really happy story(make sure there's no scary bits, edit them out)and then sit and chat with him for a while. I think that looking for monsters and stuff like that only keeps the idea in her head. When you leave the room, leave the door open a little bit and make some noise so she knows that you are still there. Well, it worked for me. But I should tell you that it take a long time and a lot of patience.

Answer 10

A lot of children associate darkness with bad things i.e. monsters. Have you tried telling your child about animals that actually do live in the dark such as owls and mice "none threatening creatures" I don't think checking for Monsters will help as your chid will automatically link monsters to bed time. Try getting a book about nocurnal animals, this may take some time, but should be worth it i the end.

Answer 11

She is about the age,that most children realize,that they are actually in the dark. Not being able to see things right away can be scary for her. I suggest decorating her bedroom in her favorite charater (such as Barbie,Dora the Explorer,Spongebob,etc). You can buy wallpaper,or blankets that glow in the dark. There are children's bedroom lamps,that match and they have lamp shades with these little buddies on them. Most of these lamps require a 3-way light bulb;,that way you can slowly adjust the lighting in her room,until she gets use to being in the dark. Also purchase a "Nightlight",and plug it into the outlet nearest the bedroom door,that way if she has to get up,she can follow the light,to the exit. It is also good,to read her a bedtime story,while cuddling her. Always reassure her,that you are never far away. (Note) Never wait until your child falls asleep,and "sneak" out of the room. When she wakes up,and finds you gone,she will be afraid,and probably not go back to sleep. Never let her watch spooky movies on TV,or expose her to loud company,and music before bedtime. (Hope this helps!-Good luck!)