hes really sweet, and caring and wouldnt hurt a fly. thats how i met him. see im the real jealous type and i cant figure it. if were together there no reason for him to take care of another female if he has me, nice or not its not fair. am i being controling or am i right
2006-09-21 09:08:44 · 13 answers · asked by butta77 2 in Dining Out ➔ United States ➔ Washington, D.C.
No, you're not being controlling. One of the major benefits of being loved is that it must be exclusive. My mom and dad made sure that we KNEW that we were loved differently than, and better than, they loved anyone else, and this was done through every word and deed.
I did the same for my kid, and I expect the same from my significant other. You two need to take care of each other, and then TOGETHER decide whomever else you will take care of. This way, you will grow together in love, without having outside people compete for attention from either of you.
For example, I made a special chocolate cake only for my daughter's birthdays. I've never made it for anyone else, nor have I given out the recipe. It's something simple, that didn't cost a dime more or less, but she appreciates it as a token of my love for her.
In the same vein, your b/f would not appreciate it if you draped yourself all over some other man. Attention that he gives to other women, even if he's doing it because it pleases him and not because it helps them, is no way for him to appreciate you or build his relationship with you.
Men often make the assumption that they have done everything they need to do in a relationship. To them, if they've 'got' you, they think they can go on doing whatever they please. It doesn't work that way. Each person in a relationship must do the things that constitute the way they lead their lives in a way that supports and furthers their important relationships, and giving up taking care of other women (including his mother) as a separate matter from you is one of those things.
So, if it is a woman YOU don't want to take care of, she's out. Period.
2006-09-21 12:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, at least you realize that you are controlling and are in need of a change perhaps, because there is a differnce between "being nice" and flirting.
In your experience you know if someone is flirting with you, moreso how your BF flirts when the two of u first met. So there is one way you can know if he's truly being nice or if he has a roving eye.
Guard your heart yet be calm.
Accept him for who he is, I had the experience of breaking up with someone becuase he accused me of flirting and POTENTIALLY cheating on him with other guys. Now he wishes he had never felt that way or said that to me, but its to late. So don't worry until there is something to worry about, if you've found a good man enjoy him.
Kisses and good luck girl.
2006-09-21 13:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by Jehan J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're being controlling, and you're the jealous type because you're insecure about yourself. Your boyfriend is being nice to people because that's what a human being should be. But then again, you didn't go into specifics on how he's "far too kind to other females." I was thinking along the lines of holding doors for them sort of thing.
2006-09-21 09:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
thats a tricky question and tricky to answer. seems to me, it may just be in his nature to help others especially females, because hes probly been raised that way. if you love each other, then you shouldnt worry. and, theres never any room for the green eyed monster(jealousy) in a secure relationship. Granted, we alll(females) tend to get a jealousy streak once in a while, but, i think we all have to learn to trust more and just be aware and not let our jealous natures get in the way of a good relationship.Just go easy on him. youll know if its something really worth getting into about.
2006-09-21 09:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by debo3 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong. Kindness is a part of his personality, and it drew you too him. Why should he change that part of himself? Would you still feel the same about him if he did? This is a problem that you are having, NOT him. Learn to trust him, or let him go.
2006-09-21 09:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by gtkaren 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
YOU FELL FOR HIM CAUSE YOU LIKED THE WAY HE IS . EXPLAIN TO HIM TO CALM IT DOWN A LITTLE BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM BEING NICE TO OTHER FEMALES . IF HE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT YOU HE WILL GIVE A LITTLE .
2006-09-21 11:11:26 · answer #6 · answered by yardbird28715 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you get to jealous your going to run him off from ya and its going to break your heart.
2006-09-21 09:34:24 · answer #7 · answered by angel_leea96 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being kind is just a part of his character. Would it make you happy if he were rude/mean to everyone but you?
2006-09-21 09:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by Lainie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have issues with trust and insecurity....best to get over it before you get married!
Jealousy is the first step towards divorce!!!!!!
2006-09-21 09:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
yes
2006-09-21 09:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋