Seriously, I would really appreciate your most heartless, darkest jokes. I'm in a funk. Help me out here ...
One (relatively mild) example (you can do better!):
"What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?"
"Cancer."
2006-09-21 09:01:08 · 16 answers · asked by rgrace4488 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what's green, slimy, and smells like pork?
kermit's finger
♣
2006-09-21 09:02:52 · answer #1 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.
Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, DeNephew.
2006-09-22 16:09:02 · answer #2 · answered by Chino 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
an atom bomb goes of in ethopia, 5 million people die , 1 million from the blast and 4 million from fighting over the mushroom.
Whats the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from the hospital? she’ll do the fu***** dishes if she knows whats best for her.
A litle girl was sitting on the curbside, crying. When a man see’s her, walks over and asks "Hey litle girl, what are you crying for?" the girl looks at the man and reply’s " Ive just been raped by a gang of men "Oh dear" says the man as he stands up pulling down his pants "Its just not your lucky day is it"
why did jesus stop playing hockey .............( because he was nailed to the boards ).....
Billy came home from school today and told his mom , " Hey quess what I did in school today , I had sex with my teacher !!! " His mom , very upset yelled at him to go to his room and said you can tell your dad what you said when he gets home. when his dad got home he told his dad the same thing , and his dad said , "Way to go son !!! Let’s go buy you a new bicycle !!! " On the way out of the shop with the new bike the dad says " Do you want to ride your new bike home ? The son says "Hell no , my a** still hurts from the teacher !!!
2006-09-21 16:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Bigbaddad 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
What's the difference between a whore and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up a whore...
Did you know that Helen Keller had a big pink rabbit............................... No, neither did she!
Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So the Puerto Rican's can window shop...
How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
What do call a homo in a wheelchair?
ROLAIDS
2006-09-21 17:35:44 · answer #4 · answered by absolutely_fabulous_78 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Q. What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her?
A. Rearrange the furniture.
2006-09-21 16:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by answer faerie, V.T., A. M. 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You have to be the sickest person that I have come across. No one can say anything that is sicker than you.
2006-09-21 16:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by whenwhalesfly 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
no 1 dies a virgin, life screws us all in the end
2006-09-21 18:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by acdc_rocks92 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you really want a joke i can give you some nasty and sick jokes but not sad and deppresssed email me at alexandrasokol@yahoo.com
2006-09-21 16:20:50 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Sasha♥ 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Why do dogs lick there own balls? (no most people will say because they can) But Wrong! It's because they are Delicious!!!
2006-09-21 16:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
What is grosser than gross. Two vampires fighting over my tampon. What is grosser than that? When one wins!!!!
2006-09-21 16:04:14 · answer #10 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋