who has the best joke out there? or riddle...
2006-09-21 08:55:33 · 18 answers · asked by 1 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what's green... wait.
okay, i got one:
what does a woman's asshole do during climax?
he's probably watching a football game or something
♣
2006-09-21 09:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I'm not really a good riddle or joke teller the only reason I come here is because I like reading the jokes people have up here sorry.
2006-09-21 16:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by Precious S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day, he met a girl and fell in love.
When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go through with the marriage if I carry on like this." So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he telephoned his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk.
On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk, he thought he would walk off any ill effects before he got home. So he went in and ordered three extra large helpings of beans.
All the way home he farted. By the time he arrived home, he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!"
She put a blindfold on him and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another fart coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.
He had just started to feel better when another urge came on. He raised his leg and rrriiipppp! It sounded like a diesel engine revving and smelled even worse. To keep himself from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate.
Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next 10 minutes, farting and then fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom), he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it.
Smiling contently, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!" To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
2006-09-21 17:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by SinginChic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A bear was chasing a rabbit through the forest. When all of a sudden, a Genie came out of the bushes.
"Since you two are the first animals I've seen, I will grant you each one wish." he says.
The bear goes first, "I wish all of the bears in this forest were females."
Then, the rabbit goes. "I wish I had a motercycle!" he said.
"That's stupid!" the bear yells. "You could just buy one!"
The Genie grants their wishes, and asks for their second one.
"I wish all of the bears in North America were females." the bear tells the Genie.
"I wish I had a helmet!" the rabbit quickly tells him.
"That's Really stupid!" the bear yells again. "You could just buy one!"
Again, the Genie grants their wishes and asks for their final wish.
"I wish all the bears in the wolrd were female!" the bear finally shouts, thinking he's out-done himself.
The rabbit puts on his helmet and climbs on his motercycle. "I wish the bear was gay!" he calls while racing off.
2006-09-21 16:58:30 · answer #4 · answered by Maybeh 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
there were these two guys waiting to get into heaven. they were bored so they told each other how they died. the first guy said that he had a heart attack. the second guy said he froze to death. the second guy asked the first guy how did you have a heart atack and he replied: i thought my wife was cheating on me so i checked the whole house then i had a heart attack. then the second guy said you should have checked the freezer then we would both be alive. lol
2006-09-21 16:27:32 · answer #5 · answered by Brooklynn 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ME.tu's ojos son como dos luceros que alumbran el basurero.
2006-09-21 17:25:50 · answer #6 · answered by steph_035 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The chicken leaned back against the headboard and lit a cigarette.
The egg - looking rather disgusted - rolled over and said, "Well, I guess we've answered THAT question."
2006-09-21 16:17:37 · answer #7 · answered by JubJub 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
me
Glidden has a new line of paints!
Names and made after hair colors
the first one off the line is
BLONDE
not to bright
but spreads real easy
2006-09-21 16:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stand or Rest
And be my Guest
2006-09-21 15:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by spyblitz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What did the robot say to the centipede???
STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE
2006-09-21 16:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by joethecoolioest 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its on the tip of my tongue...thanks for the 2 points at least.
2006-09-21 16:01:23 · answer #11 · answered by Sara 3 · 0⤊ 4⤋