My dad has told many things about how the military life was for him and my mom! But i want to know what its like being married to a marine now! I love him very much and it wont be hard to adapt to the military life i was a military brat for 10 yrs! But as a kid not a wife! Could someone tell me what i am in for? Positve and negative if any i hope not! WE are getting married in feb! and going to be stationed in 29palms! I can still continue in school because there is a college 15 min away and he will be stationed there for the next two yrs! Anyone related to this give some good answers please!
2006-09-21 08:43:32 · 4 answers · asked by Teresa M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well being a military brat, you've gotten a glimpse of what to expect as a military spouse.
Hopefully he is going to be at a Non-FMF unit, meaning a non deployable unit (I think there is an electronics school there is out there...MCCESS?).
Irregardless of the duty station you’ll have to be willing to adapt to his long and or irregular work. Depending on his unit, expect that he will have field and/or support training. As a Marine he is always going to some required training or support function.
If he's in a leadership position, expect him to be away attending to the needs of his junior Marines. He’ll probably spend sometime getting to know them and also train them, after work hours. As with most cases he’ll probably be involved with their personal lives. If he’s comfortable with it, let him talk to you about his work. Most folks say keep that out of the house, but it has to be released somehow; else it will just build up within him or he’ll release his emotional burden to someone other than you. I know he's your husband and his family should come first, but it is vital he take of those Marines. Think of it this way, those folks he took care of are the people who will take care of him (in any situation), and will ensure he comes home safe.
You’ve taken an important step towards your transition to being a military family member. It is paramount having activities outside of the home. I highly recommend you take advantage of the educational opportunity. Also look into any volunteer jobs you can assist on. If you don’t have a hobby, this may be a great time to get one. Being at home by yourself can lead to complacency and utter boredom. Plan days where you two can spend time together. He may get frustrated when he wants to spend time together, but you have school or something else planned where he isn’t included. Just think how dejected you would feel when you want him near, but he’s off at work.
Be very careful of letting other Marines and other [military] families into your personal lives. It is a shame that so many others revel in the unhappiness of others. There are many [sexual] predators and misinformed people that may want to take advantage of your situation. Do not get scared and become a recluse, but just be careful to maintain your relationship with your husband…remember he is also your friend, remind him of that. Visit the Family Service Center and Community Service centers for impartial advice and guidance. Always remember you are walking the proverbial tightrope when relating your family issues to friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Sometimes things get relayed to the wrong people and it is normally a variance of what your intent was. There are many good people that live in base housing and nearby the base, take your time getting to know EVERYONE.
There are many positives and negatives of being a part of the military. I could in no way totally encompass the many stresses and joys you’ll encounter along the way. Overall he is going to be stressed out from work and of course having to be husband/father. Keep yourself open and willing to accept, but do not be a doormat. Please be understanding and supportive of your husband, communication is key.
You have the toughest job in the world…being a Marine Wife
Have fun at 29 stumps!!!!
2006-09-21 10:28:02 · answer #1 · answered by Grown Man 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married to a Marine. yay!
Military life being married to someone in the military has its pros and cons as you know first hand as being a daughter of one growing up.
it is the same as now, just now you are an adult with an adult view point. Back then, some training and all where different. We are in another time of history. However, just prepare yourself for any cons with it. Discuss it and be open communitive with him.
My fiance just came back from being stationed in Japan and now in San Diego.
At the moment, he is in 29 Palms doing field trainning. So, I can relate to you very much.
Him and I plan to get married in Feb of 08, just a few months shy of his contract being up. So, I won't be living in "military" structure. I know what it is like and all by prior military experiences. Don't want to get married next year since he will be serving his second tour duty in Iraq. So, best to wait and not rush. etc.
You are in some positives like pay, housing, benefits and being able to be stationed with him as example.
Cons can be him being sent for active duty or be re-stationed as example.
You can stil continue school and be a good wife. Just a little life adjustment to make here and there.
My step sister and her husband (in Army) are stationed in Germany with their two young daughters. It is a big adjustment with her and said if they move again, she will come back home to stay. It is hard to follow, especially with children.
I think you two will be fine and will have rough patches as any marriage non-military people have too.
Good luck and best of wishes.
2006-09-21 18:44:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a spouse in the military is hard. It's even harder when the spouse is in a unit where cheating is not only allowed, it's encouraged. I hope my case is the exception and not the rule (but I doubt it).
Just be smart. Ask questions. Be true to your husband. Hopefully he'll have a good commander.
2006-09-21 16:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a marine! Stay away from other military wives, and do NOT live in base housing. It is nothing but drama. I come from a family of marines and when I met my husband those were the first two subjects we discussed and agreed upon.
2006-09-21 08:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋