Just curious. The gf and I have been dating for a while, long enough that the Romeo and Juliet stuff has died down and getting into the whole stage of real bf and gf stuff. Now that strong emotions are becoming apparent for each other, she is holding out sex. I know she cares for me very much and when we're together we work great as a couple. Now before anyone tells me she found someone else, don't waste our time b/c I trust her and, frankly, that's my perogative. My question is girls, if you are falling for your bf emotionally, why on Earth would you not sleep with him? Does this really happen? Any advice on solutions?
2006-09-21 08:28:51 · 28 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, we have talked briefly, mind you, and she said she is a little frightened but she isn't sure why. We have had sex early(ish) and often, but then it just stopped.
2006-09-21 08:37:54 · update #1
Maybe she is saving herself for marriage? I did, so did my husband.
2006-09-21 08:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
OK boy, I think I can help you in this situation. See I'm a virgin and I plan to stay that way until I get married. I didn't even have my first boyfriend until now at age 20, but that relationship has ended. I don't know about other girls but I can tell you why I don't put out.
It's not for religious reasons, it's just that I'm a very emotional & sensitive person and if I gave my virginity to another guy and if the relationship never worked out, or if the guy dumped me then I would be VERY heartbroken and hurt. I also think that saving sex for marriage is the moral thing to do, and I feel that sex shouldn't be made into such a big deal, I mean you can still love your girlfriend even if you don't have sex with her right? By delaying sex, it means you two will have greater initimacy by showing your affections in other ways, you will learn more about each other on a deeper, spiritual level.
Your girlfriend just may not be ready for sex, I mean the experience is completely different for guys and girls. Guys can view sex as just another physical act, but girls place a lot of meaning to the sexual act. They also get attached very quickly to the guy after they have sex so some girls just wanna REALLY get to know the guy first before she gives him her body, heart, and soul.
Just remember that it's a good thing that your girlfriend doesn't wanna have sex so quickly, it means that she's a smart girl who doesn't jump into things, and considering the rise of AIDS, STD's, and unplanned pregnancies, I'd say it'd be smart if more people delayed sex,had less sexual partners, or better just abstained from it til marriage.
I hope this helps:)
take care:)
2006-09-21 08:46:58 · answer #2 · answered by sweet kisses 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Control
2006-09-21 08:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a lady, but I have some theories:
1) She considers you to be long term relationship material, and she doesn't want to ruin the relationship by having sex too soon (after all, if you get married, you will have the rest of your life to have sex, so what's the rush?);
2) She wants to see if you want her for more than just sex;
3) She has some religious beliefs that require her to save sex for marriage.
2006-09-21 08:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by Randy G 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey, i am in the same situation but i am the girl. let me give you some insight. when we start to "fall" for someone we withold the sex because sex is VERY emotionally bonding for us. she probably is at a point where she wants to see if you are just in it for the sex, or if you like her mind too. she may hold out as part of a defense mechanism to keep her heart out of the matter and analyze you with her mind. to keep distance between the emotions i guess.
so yes, it really does happen.
solutions: please dont pressure her for sex. EVER. give her back rubs, plan a romantic night out, talk about things like politics or religion or books or whatever. connect with her on other levels, not just sex. you can be intimate without sex, at this point it sounds like that is what she wants. once you do that, be prepared cause she will bang your brains out
2006-09-21 08:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A gurl like to wait until she's ready and if she's pressured or rushed about it then that may cause her to lose interest or make you wait longer. It also may cause her to second guess herself and do it when she's not ready because she's trying to keep you. But if she's not ready don't rush her. Just acknowledge her for that because that shows how independent she is and she knows what she want in life. You might be the one and then again you might not, but only she knows that and if you stick around long enough you could prob. find out.
2006-09-21 08:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by Ambi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just not ready to have sex right now. I am sure she loves you very much, but there is alot of emotion in having sex and things do and have a tendency to change between two people that take that next step. She wants you to respect her as a woman and to love her for her, not what she can give to you, or do for you in that area. She may be even waiting for when she is engaged to be married, or waiting until after she is married. That is very respectable, and shows that she has morals and values and self respect. She wants more from you and with you, then a relationship that has sex and before long, that is what it is. *sex*, You got yourself a very special woman..... treasure her. blessed be
2006-09-21 08:39:34 · answer #7 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, this really happens. I know that I waited a while until I knew I was ready to have sex. The time came up a few times and I just couldn't do it. When I finally did I was glad that I wanted as long as I did, it meant something then. If you give her time she will come around, just don't rush her!
2006-09-21 08:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by JC 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It should be a two way street. You shouldn't be so available or so easy. You need to hold back a bit and realize that hard-to-get works both ways. Maybe if she realizes that you aren't just there whenever she decides to have you, she will want you. Or, perhaps she really likes you but simply isn't physically attracted to you.
2006-09-21 08:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by kurtrisser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she got burned before, after going to bed with someone she thought cared about her, or maybe she's a virgin and she's nervous or maybe she's waiting for mor eof a commitment. There are a number of reasons. Talk to her and find out what her reservations are - but be sensative to her reasons. She'll do it when she's ready. If you are nagging at her or giveing her guilt trips, you aren't helping your cause and your balls will keep getting bluer and bluer.
2006-09-21 08:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she could be waiting to confirm that you do not have any STD's. It is a big deal to some girls. Just make her aware that you don't have anything bad with your health. Best case, both of you should go to the doctor and verify that she is safe also. Perhaps she has blistures or something and just does not want you to find out till they heal.
2006-09-21 08:32:52 · answer #11 · answered by edna_romano_1943 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋