ok smart arses what is the BEST joke in the world?

Answer 1

Paddy & Murphy are in Ethiopia walking by a river. Paddy goes just ahead of Murphy and sees a crocodile with a man's head sticking out of it's mouth. 'Hey Murphy!!' Paddy shouts.' I thought this country was supposed to be poor'............'Will you just take a look at this flash ba****d in his Lacoste sleeping bag!!'

Answer 2

The best joke in the world can't be told because you would die laughing.

Answer 3

Two cannibals eating a clown one turns to the other a says does this taste funny to you?

Answer 4

A man walks into a chemist and asks if he can have some Viagra.
The pharmacist says to him "Do you have a prescription?".
"No", replies the man, "But I could show you a photo of the wife"

Answer 5

because of the particular undeniable reality that one of those massive volume of people international imagine President Bush is a dolt and a fool, the Republicans settle on to carry a "George Bush isn't stupid" convention. 100 thousand Republican delegates from all 50 states collect jointly meet interior the Houston Superdome. Trent Lott stands up and proudly addresses the team. "we are all the following at present to educate to the international that George Bush isn't the completed moron human beings say he's. So with out added adieu, females and gents, enable me introduce the President of this the following united states...George Walker Bush." the team is going loopy. After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, to educate to the international once and for all that your psychological prowness is 2d to none we will carry out slightly arithmetic questions. So Mr. President let us know, how a lot is 8 plus 8 ?" Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating genuine confusing for a second, pronounces, "Twelve!" obviously all and various is slightly upset yet all the delegates commence cheering and chanting, "supply Bush yet another danger! supply Bush yet another danger!" Trent Lott says, "confident, i imagine President Bush continues to be slightly drained from the lengthy helicopter flight from Crawford and did not listen the question proper". So he asks, "what's 5 plus 5?" After about a minute or so of chin-rubbing, grimacing, and searching up on the ceiling. Bush yells out "ninety-4" Trent Lott receives a a great deal surprised look of disbelief on his face, seems down and merely shall we out a dejected sigh -- all and various interior the audience is disheartened. yet then Bush starts off pouting, and with out word the 100,000 Republican delegates commence to stomp the floor and pound their chairs, chanting back "supply Bush yet another danger! supply Bush yet another danger!" Lott, uncertain even if he's doing more advantageous damage than solid, eventually says, "ok! ok! merely an additional advantageous danger -- what's two plus 2?" President Bush sits down on the floor and takes to the air his footwear and socks, he then counts on his feet , after a lengthy pause, he proudly stands up and gleefully pronounces "4." The audience is shocked. there's a second of finished silence. hastily finished pandemonium breaks out as each Republican interior the stadium jumps to their ft and starts to shout with a deafening roar.... "supply BUSH yet another danger! supply BUSH yet another danger!"

Answer 6

why did the chicken cross the road. ANS- because the pervert was stuck up the chicken.

Answer 7

Q what's the differance between an apple and an orange ?


A you cannie wash the winndys we a shovel

Answer 8

This question was covered in the first Monty Python film, do your own research.

Answer 9

man walks into a bar wi a piece of tarmac under his arm and the barman asks him if he would like a pint, to which the man replies "2 please barman, 1 for me and 1 for the road"

Answer 10

This is a no-brainer:


What does an old woman smell like?

Depends!