Social Services believes all his exaggerations. Is there more I can do? Or should he go live with his father, whom he closely resembles in every way. My daughter is 6 and he doesn't care if they both go into foster care, so his behavior is out of control. If I admit my son should go to his father's (who he doesn't have a close relationship with), they might forcibly remove my daughter too. What should I do? And do you know of any cases or real live examples where something similar happened and the girl got to stay with mom.
2006-09-21 07:35:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Military school! Don't let him run all over you
2006-09-21 07:39:14 · answer #1 · answered by ♀♥♂☮Trippy Hippie☮♂♥♀ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In order for Social Services to take away your kid they will need to observe your home environment and make a judgement based on that, not JUST what your 13 year old says.
Look at the things he is defiant about, does he want more freedom from a controlling parent? Is he under the impression he can walk all over you because you are not strict enough?
It is your responsibility to set boundaries and remain consistent with him. Get counseling for him, individual and family counseling.
Also, look at his friends... Are they the type of kids that get in trouble and have the issues he is acting out? You could remove him from that situation and put him in another school...
Defiance like this is usually a condition of surroundings, pay close attention to them and make adjustments as needed. He is becoming an adult, so it is equally important that you allow him to make decisions as well...
It is your call how to react to what he does. I would not suggest giving up and handing him off to his father. Stick with it.
2006-09-21 14:54:32 · answer #2 · answered by princessin_bluejeans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there single mom of 3 kids and my middle child who is 10yrs old boy is the same way, I called social services and told them my situation, they came over when my son was home, and had papers filied for him to go into a temp foster home to get him the help he so needs so that it makes our lives so much better, he is in temp custody for 6 months, he cried when he was leaving broke my heart, but now I get to see him on the weekends, and when I see him its amazing my 10yr old boy is not the boy I remember, he has gotten so much help, and I thank every min I am with him to the social services for helping me and my children, now I still have my other 2, it was the best thing I could have ever done, so speak with the workers see what they would suggest, they must have some type of plan to help you out, and just remember your not alone there are many single mothers out there like you, and you giving your son to his father maybe not the right decision, my mom did that and got to keep me, and well I know most fathers would protect there sons, but my brother has been in and out of trouble, so I would suggest to you ask the worker of suggestions, as well talk to your sons doctor and see if he can give you any suggestions or see who he can refer you to as well, head up girl, it will get better, just need to find someone to help you out with it, and once you get it, take it girl it will be the best thing you ever do in your life, and your son will thank you from the bottom of his heart like my son does with me. Good Luck and chin up there are more single moms out there just like you, your not alone!
2006-09-21 14:51:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are able, have her evaluated for what's call Oppositional-Defiant disorder. Kids who have it are just what the name implies, and no form or amount of punishment seems to deter their determination or predilection for disruption and trouble. It's just a thought, but what you're describing sounds a bit like my daughter, who has stayed in one kind of a jam or another, all of her own making, since preschool. If given the chance, she will tell whoever will listen, including the authorities, that she is severely beaten and abused. The only reason she wasn't hauled off to foster care is because she lacks the scars and bruises to make her stories plausible. Good luck.
2006-09-21 15:42:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit the child down, and tell him that you can see he doesn't want to remain with you, so how do we get social services or the powers to be to understand that is what he wants. If he is the problem, make him part of the solution. He may just work with you if he feels he has some control in the answer
2006-09-21 14:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's a teenager. he has no clue about the consequences of these actions. every kid i know, including myself at that age, pushes the envelope as far as they can. it's your job as a parent to difuse this with patience, yet firmness. if he gets away with this, you'll never have an ounce of control from here on. then, when your daughter reaches the "hormone years", she'll follow suit. i like those scared straight deals that take little punks to visit places that they could end up if they don't chill.
2006-09-21 15:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by wilsonmj1123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its hard as a single parent. Have you tried getting him a big brother. sounds like he is having issues you may not be able to help him with. call your local big brother big sister organization.
2006-09-21 14:40:30 · answer #7 · answered by bluedanube69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, consult a family lawyer, then get in touch with a family counselor, because he is still your son, and needs to know you still love him, no matter what!
2006-09-21 14:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by LaceyPie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should probably go live with his dad. Dads have a way of controling boys reminds you how necessary dads are.
2006-09-21 14:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋